Day: June 14, 2005

Sunny with a chance of Bad Santa

elvis7 Comments

Last year we had a small but excellent showing of filthy holiday stories I like to call Bad Bad Santa. I’m just sick enough to go back and do it again.

This is what you want call an early warning.

Last year we had a small but excellent showing of filthy holiday stories I like to call Bad Bad Santa.

I’m just sick enough to go back and do it again. So put your dirty thinking caps on.

Basically, there are few rules — stories need to be 1) dirty, 2) holiday themed. You can take on the jolly old elf like the rest of us did last time, you can besmirch Rudolph, Frosty, that wicked old Mrs Claus, the Grinch, even little Cindy Lou Who. Or you can take on another holiday and do unto the Easter Bunny or Cupid, or a holiday mashup like Jack Skelington and his crew.

Whatever.

Think on it. Let inspiration strike.

I’ll put out an official call later this summer and put up a drop box of some sort to collect them. Stories remain the author’s, I’m just gonna collect ’em up and feature the best ones.

Is that for my ears?

elvis3 Comments

Olivia was in teh office with me, I suspect up to her eyeballs in her playmobile obsession…. And I turn to say something to olivia, and the next song in my iTunes library starts playing.

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Last night I was downloading something or other, some sample of an artist I’ve now forgotten.

Olivia was in the office with me, I suspect up to her eyeballs in her playmobile obsession.

So I start up this sample in iTunes, and it plays, and isn’t interesting in any way. And I turn to say something to olivia, and the next song in my iTunes library starts playing. I have this up pretty loud.

And this is the next song. (That link isn’t work safe).

It’s the dirty-words-only version of ‘Fuck tha Police’ from NWA’s Straight Outta Compton.

I thought Olivia’s head was gonna explode.

IS THAT FOR MY EARS? she demanded.

“No honey, that played by mistake.”

“Why would you have that,” she asked, sounding near panic.

I explained what it was a joke, everything but the bad words edited out. And I felt like that moment in Alice’s Restaurant where he says “…and creatin’ a nuisance, and they all moved back to me there on the group W bench…” when I told her it was to make of point about how much some bands use that sort of language. And that made it all ok, as if she was then able to say to herself oh, it’s a lesson.

I don’t know this kid sometimes. I asked her if she wanted to hear it again, and she paled and said NO! But someday she’s gonna understand the power of that language.