Honor the name of it

The fighting sheen of it The yellow, the green of it The white, the blue of it The swing, the hue of it The dark, the red of it Every thread of it! The fair have sighed for it The brave have died for it Foemen sought for it Heroes fought for it Honor the […]

The fighting sheen of it
The yellow, the green of it
The white, the blue of it
The swing, the hue of it
The dark, the red of it
Every thread of it!
The fair have sighed for it
The brave have died for it
Foemen sought for it
Heroes fought for it
Honor the name of it
Drink to the fame of it—
The Tartan!
—Murdoch MacRae

A friend of mine just stepped up with an offer I couldn’t refuse, in terms of a trade for my Utilikilts credit. I worked a lot of very entertaining, but very hard hours in booths all over the bar area, getting men out of pants and into kilts.

Utilikilts has come a long way since then; they have a flagship store in Seattle now, and wholesale to select kilt vendors nation wide.

In the old days, the booths were run on a shoestring, by a staff of very few employees, and many volunteers, who did it out of love for the product. The pay? If you worked a long hard day, you’d get a kilt. and maybe a t-shirt. But we didn’t do it for the pay, we did it because it was so goddamn much fun.

Part carnival barker, part sales rep; part freak show, part haberdasher, part lifestyle counselor, part pirate, part street performer. I’ve never accosted so many strangers, copped so many feels, been flirted with by both genders, as much as I have at fairs and fests and games, when I used to shout things like “Sir, have you considered FREEEEDOM from TROUSER TYRANNY?

It was some of the most fun I’ve ever had working.

It was work though. Hell on knees and ankles; long, long hours bending, stretching, fetching, measuring. Hours roaming and passing out cards, offering what was, for most people, a first look at a concept. Because that’s what the utrilikilt was; not just a garment, but a new kind of garment. We’ve all seen a kilt before, or a sulu, a sarong. But this wasnt exactly any of those. It was a technical object, an exaggeratedly masculine garment. A skirted garment for men without a cultural reference.

The thing with MUGs (Men’s Un-bifurcated Garments), is that they mostly come from somewhere. Scotland, Indonesia, Africa, Polynesia, or even Rome. The Utiliikilt, though, comes from nowhere but Seattle, WA. It wasn’t a reference to ‘what we wear back home’ or ‘what my ancestors wore’; it was a statement on it’s own. “This is what I wear,” it said, for no reason other than because I want to.

That’s come a long way in four or five years. Now, when I wear my Utilikilts, people don’t say ‘is that a kilt?’ or ‘nice skirt’; they say “hey, Utilikilt!” The concept is winning it’s way into the culture. And I feel I’ve done my part for that. I own seven or eight Utilikilts; I wear them, if not daily, then at least weekly. I own no suit, no tuxedo; I wear kilts for fancy dress affairs.

On the other hand, I’ve stopped fighting the fight. I don’t usually wear my kilts to work (they just don’t suit sitting at a desk that well; ladies, you know what I mean). I don’t feel I have to wear a kilt just to make a statement. I wear them because I like them, because they’re flattering, and because they’re comfortable.

All those fairs I worked brought me a lot of joy, some *action* (if you know what I’m sayin’), and a lot of kilts. I didn’t buy most of my kilts, and I still wound up with several Utilikilts worth of credit.

Thing is, I don’t really need another UK right now. I look at the lineup and can’t think of anything they have, that I need.

So my hard-earned kilt fund is getting turned into another kind of kilt.

I just ordered fabric samples from my favorite Highland Kilt maker, J Higgings in Kansas City. When I get back from Seattle, I’m going to place an order for a new kilt in some variation of Red MacRae Tartan, a compliment to the one I already have in MacRae Hunting.

It’ll be something like this:

MacRaeRed.jpg tar-red-mod.gif

Hey, sometimes a guy needs to go old-school.

girls who like men who wear kilts

The wise and incredibly hot Merrick says, of modern kilt wearers: The type of guy who wears a kilt regularly is not only stylish and can dress himself, but is, most certainly, a pervert. I mean, I know that kinky sex and nerdiness pretty much go hand in hand, but kilt wearers are just a […]

The wise and incredibly hot Merrick says, of modern kilt wearers:

The type of guy who wears a kilt regularly is not only stylish and can dress himself, but is, most certainly, a pervert. I mean, I know that kinky sex and nerdiness pretty much go hand in hand, but kilt wearers are just a class of their own. For one, you’ve got the obvious exhibitionist factor, because if you are wearing a kilt you better expect at least one bold lady (who may or may not be inebriated) to come up and ask if you’re wearing that kilt “traditionally”. She might even try to peek. And as a perverted wearer of kilts, you might just let her. Or encourage it. I think this is a good time to point out that if you want to be dating the type of guy who wears a kilt, you really have to be okay with this type of behaviour. Expect it, and expect it regularly. Those perverts. And for two? Well, I’m sure most guys are familiar with the appeal of a button fly on women’s jeans. Utilikilts, at least, are just a belt buckle away from a very… eye catching flourish of removal.

(I won’t quote the part where she then says kilt wearers are snuggly-wuggly little bunnies, you have to get over there yourself to see that part.

I point this posting out not just because she drops my name (though sure, that’s enough), but also because she does a great job of conveying the modern kilt thing, as fashion, lifestyle, and point of view.

I haven’t written a lot about kilts lately; I haven’t been working Utilikilts booths the last couple years, and wearing my kilt has become so ordinary in my life that it no longer seems to warrant special mention; so I like to see the female perspective on it.

Our neighbors are Angels

Kilt Booth, Tattoo Show. Executive summary — not a match made in heaven, at least not this show. We didn’t sell many kilts. I met Jack Rudy, but didn’t wind up getting tattooed.

Kilt Booth, Tattoo Show.

Executive summary — not a match made in heaven, at least not this show. We didn’t sell many kilts. I met Jack Rudy, but didn’t wind up getting tattooed.

Read more “Our neighbors are Angels”

Central Coast Tattoo Expo

So I’m going to my first tattoo convention ever. A funny idea, considering I have tattoos older than some of the people likely to be tattooing there. Time was I kept meaning to go to these things and never got around to it, then later, I just didn’t feel the call. There are better places […]

So I’m going to my first tattoo convention ever. A funny idea, considering I have tattoos older than some of the people likely to be tattooing there. Time was I kept meaning to go to these things and never got around to it, then later, I just didn’t feel the call. There are better places to get tattooed, there are plenty of times you can meet cool artists.

Funnier still given that a crucial scene in my novella, Wanton, takes place at a tattoo convention.

Anyway, as noted before, I’m working the Utilikilts booth this weekend, March 5th/6th, at Central Coast Tattoo Expo. It’s going to be a different scene; we’re open late, I’m used to early morning to early afternoon for these deals. This one goes lunchtime to almost midnight, so I can see it’s going to be some work. But it will be interesting. Utilikilts have never had a booth at a tattoo show before.

We’re going to be there both days, Saturday all damned day and then sunday it looks like 10:30 to 6pm.

Half of me is totally looking forward to this. This other half would like to be sleeping the whole weekend. God knows I could use the sleep.

But I do have one goal; I’d like to get a tattoo while I’m there. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it, it depends on who’s working where, who’s free, who can do what I have in mind. But I want a number 13. The reason I might not be able to get it is that if I get it where I want it, on my hand, I won’t be able to do that until the end of the show. I can’t fit kilts all day with a fresh tattoo on my hand, I’ll fuck it up. We’ll see though; I might not have time, I might not hit the right artist, and I might change my mind about what/where. I just have this image in my mind that I can’t shake, of the number 13 on my hand.

Not that I can’t come up with other ideas. Plenty of them.

In any case, I’m hoping for some good stories about this booth.

Kilts n’ Tattoos

The bad news is I may not get my penis in a book. The good news is I’m working a kilt booth at a tattoo convention. Which should be a blast. I’m gonna be working at the Central Coast Tattoo Expo selling Utilikilts on March 5th and 6th. This is in Paso Robles, CA. More […]

The bad news is I may not get my penis in a book.

The good news is I’m working a kilt booth at a tattoo convention. Which should be a blast.

I’m gonna be working at the Central Coast Tattoo Expo selling Utilikilts on March 5th and 6th.

This is in Paso Robles, CA. More details to come on this, I just got word of it a few minutes ago.

Pagans and Kilts

I’ll admit I didn’t actually see much of the con part of PantheaCon. I didn’t go to any seminars on “Who’s Calling: Caller ID for the Gods” or “Mirror of My Soul: Relationship as a Magickal Art”. I didn’t go to anything called a ritual or a circle. I was too damned busy selling kilts […]

I’ll admit I didn’t actually see much of the con part of PantheaCon. I didn’t go to any seminars on “Who’s Calling: Caller ID for the Gods” or “Mirror of My Soul: Relationship as a Magickal Art”. I didn’t go to anything called a ritual or a circle. I was too damned busy selling kilts all day, and I didn’t really feel like hanging around all evening just in case something dirty happened.

Maybe if I’d know which rituals would have been most likely to turn into naked romps, I’d have stayed.

But I tell you, them pagans, they buy a lot of kilts. We sold almost twice what we expected, and that with a short staff at the booth an a shortage of larger kilt sizes.

It was a really different venue than what I’m used to working. I’m used to being outside, in a street or street-like area. I’m used to events where people are drinking. I’m used to events where we can get loud, and where we need to work to get people into our booth.

Here, we were in a small area, inside. We didn’t need to be loud. We didn’t get to hustle people into the booth. They came to us, often faster that we could handle them. Normally we hand out business cards and work people as they walk buy, but here, everyone knew what Utilikilts are.

It was low key, and quiet, yet we were selling kilts as fast as we could go most of Saturday.

I’d work this event again. It’s fun to work close to home for once, someplace where I could get in and out without a long trip. And it was fun pretty much running the booth. I’ve always worked with people who are in charge until now so it was a change to have to wing stuff, make stuff up and not have anyone else to ask or tell. The guy who was supposed to be running the booth had to cancel, so we spent a lot of time figuring out what to do and how to do it.

I think we did a great job on this one.

Still, I missed the drunken kilt-inspectors. Vending isn’t the same when you don’t get or give some good grope.

Under new Deconstruction

I’m still having layout problems — something is goofed up with my templates and I have not had time to sort it out. I’ve temporarily gone back to a default template without my changes while I sort out what broke. Should be more together in a day or so. Meanwhile, if you have a San […]

I’m still having layout problems — something is goofed up with my templates and I have not had time to sort it out. I’ve temporarily gone back to a default template without my changes while I sort out what broke.

Should be more together in a day or so.

Meanwhile, if you have a San Jose Mercury account, you can read a very shallow bit of an interview I did at PantheaCon:

Pagans work magic, turn some heads at San Jose hotel.

The bit that’s actually relevant is:

…So what’s with the kilts? Turner said she likes “men in skirts,” but they have no great religious significance.

Karl Elvis MacRae of Saratoga, a software engineer for Apple Computer, was volunteering at a kilt stand. He’s not a pagan, he just likes kilts. “Men have worn un-bifurcated garments for thousands of years,” he said. The kilt offers freedom, especially when it’s hot out.

Why not just wear shorts?

“Not as much of a breeze in shorts,” he answered. And he sometimes wears it to work. “You know, it’s Apple.”

Fresh Kilts!

Today and possibly most of the weekend (we’ll see about that), I will be Utilikilt-vending at PantheaCon in San Jose. I actually, wonder of wonders, did find a reader who’s going. (Come ‘an give daddy a kiss, Sonja!). Not what I expected, but maybe she found me by accident via a google search. In any […]

Today and possibly most of the weekend (we’ll see about that), I will be Utilikilt-vending at PantheaCon in San Jose.

I actually, wonder of wonders, did find a reader who’s going. (Come ‘an give daddy a kiss, Sonja!). Not what I expected, but maybe she found me by accident via a google search.

In any case, I have no idea if this thing will be a somber, serious deal (which is what it sounds like from the web site), or if it will be more what I picture as a pagan revel. In either case, I’m always happy to sell kilts, get people out of their pants, and spread the word on kilted freedom.

I’m hoping I come home monday with interesting stories to tell. I usually, but not always, have them from kilt vending days. But I can tell you this much; I can resist anything but temptation. Temptation already got the better of me this week once, I ordered a one-of-a-kind (or very few of a kind) black Survival Kilt:


Survival-1

I called up Uncle Otto at the shop after seeing one of these few black Survivals in my stock for P-con, and got lucky. He had one, just one, in my size. And no more are being made in black. These are the kilts Richard Hatch wore (a little, when he wasn’t butt-naked) on the Survivor all-star show with my buddy Lex. Otto got this kilt into a second day air box and I’m awaiting it’s delivery as I type.

Temptation. My friend. My enemy. Don’t tempt me. Don’t dare me. I will. Some of you know it.

So I’ve got a new kilt to wear this weekend, and in a few minutes I’m going to load up my van with 300lbs of kilts, and head downtown. But first, one more cup of coffee, and where is that delivery guy?

Garage fulla kilts

So I walked out today to find 300+ lbs of Utilikilts on my lawn. And I now have this song stuck in my head: “ Every day, I get up and pray to Jah And he decreases the number of clocks by exactly one Everybody’s comin’ home for lunch these days Last night there were […]

So I walked out today to find 300+ lbs of Utilikilts on my lawn.

And I now have this song stuck in my head:

Every day, I get up and pray to Jah
And he decreases the number of clocks by exactly one
Everybody’s comin’ home for lunch these days
Last night there were skinheads on my lawn

In any case, I have the kilt stock for the Utilikilts both at PantheaCon in my garage. If anyone who actually knows me in real life wants to talk about trying on a kilt, come on over this weekend, I’ve got some limited stock of kilts. I’m not exactly sure WHAT I have, the inventory codes are escaping me so far, but I’ll figure that out.

Hell, maybe I should set my garage up as a local south bay Utilikilts boutique. Spread the word. Spread the love. It’d get me to clean up my garage, anyway!