One Percenter Name

I usually don’t play the “my stripper name” or “my porn star name” thing. This one, I couldn’t resist. According to the Outlaw Biker Name Generator, my one percenter name is: Ol’ Ratso of the Donkey Punchers MC (Thanks, Syl)

I usually don’t play the “my stripper name” or “my porn star name” thing.

This one, I couldn’t resist.

According to the Outlaw Biker Name Generator, my one percenter name is:

Ol’ Ratso of the Donkey Punchers MC

(Thanks, Syl)

not quite fifteen film quotes – now with answers!

The game, courtesy of Miss Syl, was: * Pick 15 of your favorite movies * Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie * Post them on your blog for everyone to guess (no fucking googling them! I’ll know!) * Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed Edit: Jeff MacDude, Hiromi […]

The game, courtesy of Miss Syl, was:

* Pick 15 of your favorite movies
* Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie
* Post them on your blog for everyone to guess (no fucking googling them! I’ll know!)
* Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed

Edit: Jeff MacDude, Hiromi and Darkneuro are in with lists. This is a pretty good game.

In fact I didn’t get to fifteen, due to short attention span or something. Eleven will have to do.

Some of these seem easy. Some not so much.

1) “What an eccentric performance.”
Monty Python and the Holy Grail – good one, Ray.

2) “Arrange food, drink, entertainment, and a sit-down orgy for forteen.”
a Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the ForumJeff Hoover who has great taste in movies

3) “Harlock, you’ve either been drinking or you’re suffering from severe combat fatigue.”
Incredible Mister Limpet; when I was a kid, this was my favorite movie. (no one got this one – I sorta hoped jjh would know it!)

4) “Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket… ”
Serenity – guessed by Bluwhls. I knew there was a Browncoat in the bunch.

5) “Do you know the meaning of love, professor?”
20,000 leagues under the Sea. A whale of a tale to tell ya lads, but no one got this one.

6) “Just try and keep it from turning into a fucking bloodbath, all right? Not like last time.”
Desperado. I’m surprised no one got this; It’s pretty much the best action film ever made.

7) “I eat the pussy, I eat the butt, I eat every motherfuckin’ thang.”
True Romance – guessed by Charlotte. I love that line.

8) “You stupid, ignorant son of a bitch, dumb bastard. Jesus Christ. I’ve met some dumb bastards in my time but you outdo them all. ”
the SIlver Streak, one of my all-time favorite comedies. NIce job, jjh!

9) “Queen Elizabeth is a man! Prince Charles is a faggot! Winston Churchill was full of shit! Shakespeare’s French!”
American Werewolf in LondonHiromi got this one!

10) “For twenty dollars I can tell you a lot of things. For thirty dollars I can tell you more. And for fifty dollars I can tell you *everything*.”
Pee Wee’s Big Adventure – guess by Syl, of course.

11) “Nuclear weapons, Jack. They mean nothing. Everybody’s got them, nobody has the balls to use them. Am I right?”
*more quotes, same film:
Innerspace. No one got this one.

Big Al

What kind of (Deadwood) Cocksucker are you?created with QuizFarm.com You scored as Al Swearengen You have carved out your powerbase from the mud under your feet and you’ll be damned if some cocksucker is going to take it. You know how to play the fancy politician’s games, but you know how to play things the […]

What kind of (Deadwood) Cocksucker are you?
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Al Swearengen

You have carved out your powerbase from the mud under your feet and you’ll be damned if some cocksucker is going to take it. You know how to play the fancy politician’s games, but you know how to play things the frontier way too. If that means getting blood on your hands, so be it. (Al Swearengen is played by Ian McShane)

Al Swearengen

88%

Alma Garret

69%

Cy Tolliver

69%

Trixie

63%

Doc Cochran

56%

Calamity Jane

56%

Seth Bullock

50%

Joanie Stubbs

38%

Mr Wu

31%

E. B. Farnum

25%

On my first try I was Seth Bullock. I like this result better. In reality I’m somewhere in between.

I am, actually, distantly related to the real life Al Swearengen – no lie.

(thx to my One True Love, miz Chelsea Summers for the quiz.)

Serious Cat

Your Score: Serious Cat 22% Affectionate, 36% Excitable, 60% Hungry Hungry for knowledge in any internet forum, you demand decorum. Any off-topic remarks, absurd statements, or tomfoolery on the interweb is deeply frowned upon by you. Truth has no room for drollery. To see all possible results, checka dis. Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? […]

Your Score: Serious Cat

22% Affectionate, 36% Excitable, 60% Hungry

Hungry for knowledge in any internet forum, you demand decorum. Any off-topic remarks, absurd statements, or tomfoolery on the interweb is deeply frowned upon by you. Truth has no room for drollery.

To see all possible results, checka dis.

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You?

I’m terribly, terribly sorry.

(no i’m not)

Final word on worth

$4140.00The Cadaver Calculator – Find out how much your body is worth. From Mingle2 – Free Online Dating That pretty much tells the tale, doesn’t it? I’m wondering though, if the tattoos and piercings raise or lower the value?

$4140.00The Cadaver Calculator – Find out how much your body is worth. From Mingle2 – Free Online Dating

That pretty much tells the tale, doesn’t it? I’m wondering though, if the tattoos and piercings raise or lower the value?

straight dope

A week or so ago i posted a meme for which I’d been tagged. Read that here. As I said, seven were true, one was not. Here you go: 1 (feet diff. sizes)- true. But at least they’re not both left feet. 3 (mysterious half sister) – true. I need to do an entry on […]

A week or so ago i posted a meme for which I’d been tagged.

Read that here.

As I said, seven were true, one was not.

Here you go:

1 (feet diff. sizes)- true. But at least they’re not both left feet.

3 (mysterious half sister) – true. I need to do an entry on this whole tale someday. Mom, it turns out, was what you might call a wayward girl.

4 (enormous bong) – true. I should post a picture of this massive contraption. It’s from when I worked at Tower, and I used to bring home all manner of drug paraphernalia. It’s almost all gone now, but for some reason I can’t part with this thing, it’s too bizarre.

5 (celebrity encounters) – true. Heather later introduced herself to me (“Hi, I’m Heather”), as if I didn’t know that already.

6 (teenage girl/catholic church) – true. This is the one that seemed to get all the votes. I was a teenage boy at the time so it wasn’t quite as colorful as it sounded. Neither one of us was a catholic, and nether one of us was dressed as a schoolgirl.

7 (high on stolen weed) – true. The ‘rents were big stoners for a while there.

8 (cat claw) – true. When I was a kid, the pet door was in my bedroom. The cat came tearing into the house one morning (no idea what was chasing her), and went directly across my bed and across my face, leaving scars you can still see next to my eye. She left a little hunk of claw embedded in the wound, and since I never went to the doctor about it, it healed over leaving a tiny souvenir.

and the lie:

2 (bridesmaid blowjob) – true, but not for me. I was at the bar drinking with the husband (actually he was the fiancé I now recall), while my buddy (a drummer) went out to his truck with said bridemaid. This woman two years later said to me “I don’t like the way you hug, it’s too intimate”, which sort of shows where she drew the line on ‘intimate’.

The only one who got this right was Bitchy; she already rocks, but now she, you know, rocks even more.

Good tries, the rest of you people.

straight 8

Ok, i got tagged on this one (lifts shirt to show indecipherable spray-paint marking). I don’t usually respond to the tag kinda meme (nor dares neither), but a meme that came from susie bright, in which she tagged two of my very favorite girl-sex-bloggers (bitchy and chelsea) is simply hard to say no to. Or […]

Ok, i got tagged on this one (lifts shirt to show indecipherable spray-paint marking).

I don’t usually respond to the tag kinda meme (nor dares neither), but a meme that came from susie bright, in which she tagged two of my very favorite girl-sex-bloggers (bitchy and chelsea) is simply hard to say no to.

Or maybe it’s just that BJ and CG are both impossible to say no to.

In any case, here are the rules:

1. Post these rules before you present the facts.
2. Start with eight random facts/habits about yourself.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

But the game seems to have taken on ‘6. …and then change the rules’.

So I’m gonna flip CG’s meme and give you seven true, and one not. See if you can pick the one.

1) My feet are different sizes; really different sizes. I care just barely wear a pair of shoes, and one’s always too big or two small.

2) I once got a blowjob from one of the bridemaids at a wedding, while her husband was inside drinking shots with my friends.

3) I have a half sister I didn’t know about until I was in my 20s. I kind of wish I’d met her without knowing who she was so – well, you can finish that story for yourself.

4) Despite the fact that I don’t smoke pot, I still own a bong that is made up of roughly eight feet of plexiglass tubing and five feet of rubber hose.

5) I’ve bought drinks for Todd Rundgren, talked about tropical fish with Tom Waits, and almost saw Heather Locklear get pantsed by her daughter.

6) I once fucked a teenage girl in a catholic church.

7) The first time I got high it was weed I’d stolen from my parents.

8) I have a hunk of cat claw embedded in my left cheek.

Have fun. I won’t tag anyone else but if you steal, steal well.

Angry Atheists

Stolen from the lovely and talented OG, because it’s about time for a Really Stupid Quiz: You scored as Angry Atheist. Whoah! Down boy! It’s time to let go of the belligerence and let someone else talk for a while. Even if the religious don’t make must sense, you should probably observe the unspoken rules […]

Stolen from the lovely and talented OG, because it’s about time for a Really Stupid Quiz:

You scored as Angry Atheist. Whoah! Down boy! It’s time to let go of the belligerence and let someone else talk for a while. Even if the religious don’t make must sense, you should probably observe the unspoken rules for human interaction and not yell directly into their faces.

Angry Atheist

83%

Scientific Atheist

67%

Spiritual Atheist

58%

Apathetic Atheist

50%

Militant Atheist

50%

Agnostic

42%

Theist

8%

What kind of atheist are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

The Fuck-memes meme

From Fifth at Shoeless – Fuck Memes.      Reply to this post, and I’ll tell you one or two (maybe even three) reasons why I hate you.      Then put this in your own journal, and spread the hate. I love this. EDIT: New rule. After I tell you why I hate you, you don’t […]

From Fifth at ShoelessFuck Memes.

     Reply to this post, and I’ll tell you one or two (maybe even three) reasons why I hate you.

     Then put this in your own journal, and spread the hate.

I love this.

EDIT:

New rule. After I tell you why I hate you, you don’t get to respond. BECAUSE I HATE YOU.