The Bachelor

elvis3 Comments

about me being alone.
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No, Not the reality teevee show. I’m done with that topic.

I’m talking about a temporary bachelor.

The family are taking off for a toasty tour of the southwest (why do they call it the southwest when it’s east of here? And what’s with the midwest? It’s not mid, nor west). I, on the other hand, as a workin’ stiff, can’t always take off at the last minute with no advance planning. So I’m keepin’ the home fires burnin’ and waiting for some post-cards and t-shirts. Gray, with skulls. That’s it, you know what I like.

Meanwhile, I’ve got a big ten days here to myself.

Obviously, I’m hoping to get some writing done. It’s a prime chance, truly. And if I could turn the tap in my head, I could write a fucking novel in ten days. I’ve got the stories, and I’ve got the time. But I’ll keep expectations low and just say, I’ll work, and maybe I’ll get a story or two I can post.

Most likely, I’ll spend too much time at home. I’ll do a ton of laundry, watch a lotta movies (I got netflix again – first up, Firefly), read a thick, heavy book or two (Moby Dick? Hell, it’s on my bedside table), and drink way too much. I’m tellin’ ya, friends, if I do this, come get me outta the house. Sometimes I go hermit when I have the house to myself. Come get me and take me out and get me in trouble. I could use it.

The worst thing I do when I’m alone is that I tend to spend way too much time at work. With no reason to get home, no one to cook for or clean up after, I tend to think, I’ll just finish this today instead of putting it off. That, also, I need to resist.

Other things come to mind. Maybe I’ll take a short motorcycle trip, pack just what I need and head off up or down the coast. Maybe I’ll toss a sleeping bag and a jug of wine in my jeep and find a beach to sleep on.

Why not? A man’s gotta try for an adventure or two.

Or maybe I’ll just conduct a short tour of dive bars in my town. That shouldn’t take long, it’s a small town and it’s got too few bars. Drink up and crawl home. In the old days, I’d have gone on a weekend-long chemical vacation; I miss being young and stupid sometimes.

Hell, I’ll find some way to occupy the hours. I always do.

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Trotsky Icepick – Band Names you don’t expect to see on CNN

elvis1 Comment

I’ll take Band Names you don’t expect to see on CNN for $1000, Alex!MEXICO CITY, Mexico (AP) — One of history’s most infamous murder weapons, the ice pick used to kill Russian revolutionary Leon Trotsky, has apparently resurfaced after being lost for decades.
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I’ll take Band Names you don’t expect to see on CNN for $1000, Alex!

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MAKE THEM STOP LOOKIN’ AT ME!

elvis4 Comments

It looks innocent enough – an amateur Photoshopping contest for making headshots of women and girls look more angelic. But once you start scrolling down, the aesthetic really starts to squick you out…”From BoingBoing, as usual.

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This is just fucking creepy:

“I can’t begin to convey how creepy this is. It looks innocent enough – an amateur Photoshopping contest for making headshots of women and girls look more angelic. But once you start scrolling down, the aesthetic really starts to squick you out…”

From BoingBoing, as usual.

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the garp problem

elvis2 Comments

I’ve read a few very good pieces of erotica lately that friends have sent me, and looked at some tasty pictures, and I feel incredibly inspired. I want to write something short and direct without getting over-involved in the plot and characters, which is my typical failing.

I’m just aching to write something and I can’t seem to find the time.

I’ve read a few very good pieces of erotica lately that friends have sent me, and looked at some tasty pictures, and I feel incredibly inspired. I want to write something short and direct without getting over-involved in the plot and characters, which is my typical failing. I get too ambitious about writing some complicated character piece and the sex becomes secondary.

I’m there, right now. I’m ready to do it. And I can’t seem to find a couple of un-interrupted hours to get down and write. I can’t do fiction in little bites, I need to find the zone and go, and keep going until it’s done.

A couple of blogger friends recently sent me fan mail about some of my previous work, and it’s both inspirational and intimidating. I can do it, I’m reminded, I can write. But have that garp problem of writing something I now feel I have to live up to.

When I started this blog (fuck me, is it a year and a half ago already?), it was to be about writing. It’s in many ways gone far afield of that. I need to get back there and get something done that I can publish, if only here.

[made with ecto]

Hot Chat with the Mouse

elvis2 Comments

Phone Sex via the Big D:he Walt Disney Internet Group and Sprint have announced an agreement through which Disney will create a national U.S. wireless phone service specifically designed for families…. Disney Mobile plans to offer wireless voice service, exclusive handsets and a package of features and applications including a range of entertainment content for the family.[ from BoingBoing, of course]I’m suddenly picturing phone sex with Minnie.
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Phone Sex from the Big D:

The Walt Disney Internet Group and Sprint have announced an agreement through which Disney will create a national U.S. wireless phone service specifically designed for families. The service, called Disney Mobile, will use the Sprint Nationwide PCS Network and is slated to launch next year. Disney Mobile plans to offer wireless voice service, exclusive handsets and a package of features and applications including a range of entertainment content for the family.

[ from BoingBoing, of course ]

I’m suddenly picturing phone sex with Minnie. Hot talk with Ariel. Or maybe man-man(dog?) action with Goofy. Just wait, I’ll do my Goofy impression on this one, it’ll slay you.

C’mon, Mouse. There’s money to be made.

[made with ecto]

monday-on-tuesday

elvis4 Comments

The cost of the three day weekend – the monday-on-tuesday, where everything we put off last week because of the weekend is now urgent and behind schedule…. Instead I spent saturday doing not a fucking thing, just recovering from a long week.

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The cost of the three day weekend – the monday-on-tuesday, where everything we put off last week because of the weekend is now urgent and behind schedule.

I’d like to say I spent my weekend writing. I’d like that to be true. Instead I spent saturday doing not a fucking thing, just recovering from a long week. I meant to go out and see a band but never made it out. Sunday, I decided to do a few things to get my backyard ready for a BBQ and then wound up deciding to undertake a major landscaping project, emptying out a very large number of planters and containers for re-planting. I wound the day up sweaty, grubby, making several trips to the local garden center for plants and dirt.

I later rewarded myself with some very good margaritas.

Sunday I put on a BBQ, for about three times as many people as I expected. Which was fine, because there was beer, and other consumable substances which enhanced my mood. And by pure luck, my BBQ was broken (ok, I knew it was broken, the luck was in having the parts out of stock everywhere in town), which means that instead of cooking, we ordered.

…and a good time was had by most.

I have a lot of snippets of things to write about, but no time today. The scripts I thought I fixed last week are broken again, the docs I meant to work on over the weekend, I ignored, and I now have a web-slave intern to train.

I need a vacation. It’s been almost a year since my last trip, to Fiji, and I am slowly going out of my mind.

[made with ecto]

Pierce It!

elvis4 Comments

My favorite body jewelry maker, Body Circle, is having a pretty good 20% off sale on everything through July.

My favorite body jewelry maker, Body Circle, is having a pretty good 20% off sale on everything through July.

If you’re looking for some of the more expensive stuff, big rings or 14k gold rings, it’s a pretty decent savings on some very, very good quality jewelry. I have a 1/2″ 8ga gold ring from them, and I’ve been wanting another. I just might give in and get one…

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