My blog’s been broken for some number of weeks or months, due to some stupidity of my own (removing the .htaccess file without making a copy of it first).
Nobody noticed.
Still, I un-broke it for now, and will shortly be back to posting nothing but pics and the occasional promise the wrote more.
Or something.
Welcome to the all new, not at all different Moronosphere.
I finally got fed up with Six Apart’s ineptitude with Movable Type and gave in to the dark side. This blog is now driving my WordPress.
Thanks, AAG.
Please leave a comment just so I know someone other than stupid ‘bots is still reading.
Maybe this explains why I’ve missed a blog anniversary; my eyes ain’t what they used to be.
Maybe this explains why I’ve missed a blog anniversary; my eyes ain’t what they used to be.
I remember when I used to be a blogger, rather than a guy who occasionally updates web pages. It was a long time ago, wasn’t it? I can’t even find a good way to graph my blogging frequency anymore. I know it used to be daily, and then several weekly, and then once in a […]
I remember when I used to be a blogger, rather than a guy who occasionally updates web pages.
It was a long time ago, wasn’t it?
I can’t even find a good way to graph my blogging frequency anymore. I know it used to be daily, and then several weekly, and then once in a while. Lately, it’s more like almost never.
Sometime in 08, I think it was, than the slide started; from there, it just seems like little by little I’ve given up.
I don’t mean on blogging – whatever. I mean on writing.
The last think I wrote that wasn’t just about an experience was two, maybe three years ago, aside from a couple of abortive tries and collaboration on erotica. The last thing I finished was a year or more before that.
I’m so rusty, my fingers don’t even remember how to type anymore (it took me three tries to get the work ‘type’ correct). My hands ache when I try, more from disuse than from anything else. The muscles have forgotten what its’ like to type more than the hundred or so lines I need to update a wiki page or type out a report.
I don’t even remember how I used to do this; I try to remember writing Wanton, and while I remember the feeling, I can’t figure out how I actually did it.
I started this blog – back in the dim, distant past in blog-years – with the express intent of using it to improve my writing. That never worked; or to be more specific, it got me writing something i hadn’t before (introspective essays), but didn’t help me with fiction – because it was a distraction.
Now, though? now, I’m lucky if I manage enough attention span to tweet one thing or to update my facebook status.
I was going to say I don’t know what it is, but that’s not true. I know what it is, I just don’t know what to do about it.
I’ve been in a sate of have to do something for so long now, I can’t quite my brain long enough to put words together with anything like flow.
This was bad enough, just with the ordinary stuff. Work – making the Greatest Smart Phone Ever (and the best tablet you’ve ever seen and didn’t even know you needed) isn’t just a full time job; it’s a lifestyle. We’re a seven day a week shop, and my area is to be the glue that keeps the 24 hrs per day stuff (the compute farm) going. So I’m working even when I’m not working, always aware that nothing holds this together but me. I dream compute farms and CAD tool licenses at night. And then, there’s the part about being the father of two teenager girls, which isn’t ever an easy job, even for very low needs children. Then there’s the rental house, my own house, and all the rest. Life has caught up with me in ways I didn’t quite anticipate; being The Dad to not just two, but four women (including my mother in law) takes it’s toll.
But now – well, that’s a whole ‘nother entry about Mental Health Issues. But that’s another entry, if I ever get to it.
But the bottom line is, finding even half an hour to gather myself and write, these days, is more than I can manage.
I need it. I need to put words to my feelings, to tell stories. And I fucking can’t.
I don’t see an end to this, I truly don’t. I know it has one – I just can’t imagine how or where or when.
And my best tool has deserted me again.
I have, I’m not kidding, five entries sitting in draft state that I’m almost done with. But trivial time suck keeps eating my final touch ups. The latest one; a reminiscence about my fondness for pulp writers, interrupted by the need to go buy pet supplies. My war against the ants, nearly won, has moved […]
I have, I’m not kidding, five entries sitting in draft state that I’m almost done with. But trivial time suck keeps eating my final touch ups.
The latest one; a reminiscence about my fondness for pulp writers, interrupted by the need to go buy pet supplies. My war against the ants, nearly won, has moved into my kids guinea pig’s cage. I just had to race to the store and buy some supplies to build a temporary cage, until we can either figur eout how to get all the ants out of coroplast without insecticde, or until we can get more coroplast to build a new cage.
Of course, I can’t do that now, because in ten minutes, I’m leaving for a friend’s daughter’s bat mitzvah in the Napa area (which is an over-night run).
So one more entry almost done, goes into mothballs.
This is getting frustrating. I’d describe all the travails of the last month (surgeries, injured limbs, amputations, illnesses), but i don’t have time.
On the other hand, if we’re lucky, Ray will post an entry so at least there’s SOMETHING to read!
Meanwhile, it’s time to kilt up and run. The good thing about Lisa’s mitzvahs (bat and bar) is that she knows how to throw a fuckin’ party.
Five years. 1,175 entries. 6,000 comments. Three ISP’s, a half dozen servers, several crashes. It’s been a bit of a ride, huh? Five years ago yesterday I started blogging. You can read about that here or here or here or here. And each yeah it seems like I have less to say about it. This […]
Five years.
1,175 entries.
6,000 comments.
Three ISP’s, a half dozen servers, several crashes.
It’s been a bit of a ride, huh?
Five years ago yesterday I started blogging. You can read about that here or here or here or here.
And each yeah it seems like I have less to say about it.
This last year has been a fucked up ride. If you’re reading you know a bit about it. If you haven’t been, feel free to. It’s been a terrible year for me creatively; I’ve written fuck-all, and I’m not seeing that get better yet. Blogging has fallen victim to all this, but so has every other form of self-expression I have.
Here’s to a change in all that.
To all you bloggers out there, write something. Come up for air now and then. Facebook and twitter and myspace ain’t enough.
For me – I have more to say; I don’t know why I’m having so much trouble saying it.
Meanwhile, tonight I go look at a sketch for my backpiece, and tomorrow I pick up my thruxton. Speed and pain, baby.
My friends at Pirates n’ Plunder sent me this on mySpace. I kind of liked it.
My friends at Pirates n’ Plunder sent me this on mySpace. I kind of liked it.
Typically, when I want to be blogging and run out of words, I start fucking around with the technology that drives my blog. Which accounts for the several different templates I had up tonight, in case anyone was watching. And trust me, it looked pretty damn fucked up for a bit there. One of the […]
Typically, when I want to be blogging and run out of words, I start fucking around with the technology that drives my blog. Which accounts for the several different templates I had up tonight, in case anyone was watching. And trust me, it looked pretty damn fucked up for a bit there.
One of the things that frustrates me about my completely lack of time lately is that I have no time for this sort of work; and I really enjoy it. This sort of hackery, than is of no benefit other than pleasing myself – is why I started playing with computers when I was a teenager. Just to make things that pleased me.
So it irritates me to have to be half-assed about this shit; that I can’t hack together the parts of various styles that I like and make it work all by myself. I’d far rather be doing this than babysitting users who either won’t listen or who think they know better.
Still – frustrations aside, I rather like MT Pro. Many of the glaring design problems in Mt4 are vastly improved (though it’s still vastly over complicated in some key ways that violate principles of good interface design). I just think I need to make a hackery blog so that I can test this shit someplace that isn’t live.
It’s looking more and more like my planned holiday break is going to be mostly work time; the good thing about that is that I’ll get some of it back in the form of extra days off, and can take a few free days when things slow. The down side is, that’s not likely to be until April.
The other good thing is, sometimes when I work on holidays, what I’m really doing is waiting for something that might happen, so I have time to kill in front of my computer. If I’m lucky. that time means I get some writing done (though facebook or myspace do NOT count as writing).
Meanwhile, I’m trying to make forward progress of some kind. This whole death business; I had no idea how many things needed to get done, and how much paperwork was involved. I see now the advantage of living in a bus with no fixed address and no assets you can’t carry with you. It means a whole lot less paperwork for anyone still left behind if you decide to drive off a cliff.
Yes, I know this space looks weird and green. At least, it will as soon as your browser refreshes the stylesheet (shift-reload to force that). It’s an unfortunate truth that while Six Apart make great software, they utterly suck at backwards compatability. So again I’ve abandoned my custom design temporarily for something off the shelf. […]
Yes, I know this space looks weird and green. At least, it will as soon as your browser refreshes the stylesheet (shift-reload to force that).
Sometime in the next week or so I’m planning to update this site to the latest version of Movable Type Pro. As usual, this means I need to blow away all my designs and templates, because the idiots at Six Apart don’t grasp backwards compatibility. However, they have enough great new features that, once again, […]
Sometime in the next week or so I’m planning to update this site to the latest version of Movable Type Pro.
As usual, this means I need to blow away all my designs and templates, because the idiots at Six Apart don’t grasp backwards compatibility.
However, they have enough great new features that, once again, I’m sticking with MT rather than switching. While WordPress is still getting better, it’s still a very good tiny little minitruck compared to a somewhat clunky semi; ie, wordpress does a tiny job well, but is years away from doing a big one at all.
Six Apart keep pissing me off; but the product is still very, very far ahead of anyone else in the market. So I’m riding it a little longer ’til someone comes up with an option that’s enough better to make the switch worth it.
I say this only so that when my site suddenly goes to a generic layout, you few readers who’re still around know why.