Category: movies

Snakes on a Plane

elvis9 Comments

I just don’t quite understand it. But evidently someone found this idea so scary, they made a movie of it. I can just hear the pitch – “There are these snakes, and they’re on a plane, and that’s really really scary…” “Why is it scary?” “Well, they’re snakes, right? And they’re on this plane…” “And […]

I just don’t quite understand it.

But evidently someone found this idea so scary, they made a movie of it.

I can just hear the pitch –

“There are these snakes, and they’re on a plane, and that’s really really scary…”

“Why is it scary?”

“Well, they’re snakes, right? And they’re on this plane…”

“And this is scary because?”

“They’re – angry.”

“Why?”

“Because… They’re… Um. On a plane?”

“Snakes don’t like planes?”

“Theses don’t”

“Ok…”

“It’s got Samuel L Jackson in it!”

“Green Light.”

I give you Snakes on a Plane. That’s right, Snakes on a Plane.

(props to SmartyPants for hippin’ me to all this)

Lost in…

elvis2 Comments

Ok, I admit it. I’ve never seen Lost in Translation. At least until now. And since everyone in the world has already seen it, I’m not gonna add a lot to the public dialog. But just lemmee say this; Wow. Let’s just say, I know these characters, and I love this film. The list of […]

Ok, I admit it. I’ve never seen Lost in Translation. At least until now.

And since everyone in the world has already seen it, I’m not gonna add a lot to the public dialog. But just lemmee say this;

Wow.

Let’s just say, I know these characters, and I love this film. The list of things to love is long, and I’m not gonna bore you with it, but seeing Charlotte through Bob’s eyes – yeah. I get it.

And of course, I could spend a week just looking at Scarlett Johansson.

Sigh.

Too much clay

elvis4 Comments

So we now have conclusive proof. 23 is right. 85 is right out. That’s the account for how much Wallace and Grommit is right. Now, let’s state up front. I love Wallace and Grommit. I think Grand Day Out is simply one of the best animations ever made. I love all the W & G […]

So we now have conclusive proof.

23 is right. 85 is right out.

That’s the account for how much Wallace and Grommit is right.

Now, let’s state up front. I love Wallace and Grommit. I think Grand Day Out is simply one of the best animations ever made. I love all the W & G shorts. I think Nick Park’s a brilliant animator.

But you know, some things are meant to be a certain length. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit is all the proof we need of this.

Ok. There’s lots to like. I mean, it’s W & G. Grommit manages to say more with an eye-roll than most real people can say with a monolog. The animation’s great, Nick Park’s touch with sound – which is what makes Grand Day Out so brilliant – is still evident. The visual humor is inventive.

But I just don’t want to look at Wallace’s teeth for eighty-five minutes. I don’t want to look at Lady Campanula Tottington’s clown-gumby mouth for eighty-five minutes. Even Grommit, the heart and soul of Wallace and Grommit doesn’t keep me completely entertained for eighty-five minutes.

I dunno. Maybe I needed to be really really stoned, or to be under twelve. That might have helped. Certainly the people sitting next to me were giggling a lot harder than I was; so it worked for them.

Also, maybe a none-story-high screen isn’t that forgiving for claymation. On my teevee, it seems brilliantly lifelike, even while clearly cartoonish. Here, it’s just a clay face of nightmarish proportions.

But no. That’s not it. Because the good parts – the action scenes, and some of the jokes, and there are lots and lots of jokes – work very well. I think it simply comes down to length. What works in a tight thirty minutes, as with The Wrong Trousers and it’s brilliant train-chase – can’t carry an hour and a half.

And you know, maybe it was made worse by following a simply brilliant short featuring the Madagascar penguins (the only thing about Madagascar that was memorable) titled A Christmas Cape; I don’t recall laughing this hard at a cartoon in a long time. That certainly didn’t help.

Whatever the cause, though, I think it’s safe to say “wait for the DVD“.

MirrorMask

elvis14 Comments

Go. See. MirrorMask. Now. Two words sum this thing up. “Wow“, and “Acid Trip”. Wait that’s three words. But nevermind. I sat, partway through this movie, and thought, I’m watching an acid trip with my eleven-year-old daughter. And the sad thing is, I can’t explain to her how cool that is, not yet anyway. What […]

Go.
See.
MirrorMask.

Now.

Two words sum this thing up. “Wow“, and “Acid Trip”.

Wait that’s three words. But nevermind.

I sat, partway through this movie, and thought, I’m watching an acid trip with my eleven-year-old daughter. And the sad thing is, I can’t explain to her how cool that is, not yet anyway.

What makes up for this is that she got the movie. And I don’t know any other kid her age who would. She can’t think of a single one of her friends who’ll get it, and she has geeky friends. She lists Coraline as her all-time favorite book; she worships Wolves in the Walls and loves The day I swapped my dad for two goldfish. She can’t wait to read American Gods and wanted to know all about Anansi Boys, which is on my bedside now.

She gets Gaiman. She gets Dave McKean‘s art. She gets the crazed multi-media world he lives in.

She understands, without my having to tell her anything, what the inside-out dreamworld of MirrorMask was all about.

We walked out of the movie both saying wow together; geek rapture, but also art rapture. Because while MirrorMask is a movie, what it really is, is three-dimensional, moving art. like few movies I’ve ever seen, this film is complete, pure art.

It’s hard to describe. The closest you cam come in spirit is to say it’s like Yellow Submarine. But it looks nothing like Yellow Submarine. What it looks like, feels like, is walking into Dave McKean’s mind and wandering around, a place where schools of fish swim through the sky, where you need a net to catch books, where stone giants float in the sky and old ladies keep sphinxes as pets. I guess one part Yellow Submarine, one part Cabinet of Doctor Caligari; with a side of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse and a pinch of Tim Burton.

And no, that really doesn’t capture it.

What’s it about? Hell, it doesn’t matter, at all.

Just go see it.

And let me add, I’m in love with Stephanie Leonidas, who looks like she’s about fifteen in this movie, but is evidently old enough that I can buy her a drink if I ever run into her into a hotel bar.

I wanna do drugs with these guys, I tell ya.

Serenity – T-minus…

elvis7 Comments

Serenity premiers tonight. Greggg has the advantage over most of the rest of us; he’s already seen it. For the rest of us – god, high hopes, fears, and I know whatever I see, I’ll be left waiting for more. Joss, you better be hard at work on Serenity II already.

Serenity premiers tonight.

Greggg has the advantage over most of the rest of us; he’s already seen it.

For the rest of us – god, high hopes, fears, and I know whatever I see, I’ll be left waiting for more. Joss, you better be hard at work on Serenity II already.

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Corpse Bride, first impression

elvis4 Comments

Ok, maybe I’ll do a detailed review of this tomorrow. Or maybe I need to see it again to form a full opinion, sometimes Burton’s like that. I needed to see Nightmare three times before I really got into it. But the quick impression; aesthetically stunning, truly, completely stunning. Technically brilliant. I’ve never seen animation […]

Ok, maybe I’ll do a detailed review of this tomorrow. Or maybe I need to see it again to form a full opinion, sometimes Burton’s like that. I needed to see Nightmare three times before I really got into it.

But the quick impression; aesthetically stunning, truly, completely stunning. Technically brilliant. I’ve never seen animation any better.

Yet, there are some significant weaknesses. The script is ok, but not great. There are some really bad jokes, worthy of a low-grade disney movie, but not worthy of a movie this well done. The music is somewhat uninspired, though of course typically well done.

So my impression overall – wow, mostly, but with a lingering feeling that it should have been better. A movie this intensely beautiful should be a great film, but it just missed being great.

More thoughts as they form, there’s no question it’s a film to think about. And maybe go see again right away.

That’s why it’s candy

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That’s why it’s candy.I wrote a bit of this over in Ray’s comments, but I wanted to go into it here for a couple reaons. One is that I just read a very good article on Roald Dahl in The New Yorker.

,

Candy doesn’t have to have a point. That’s why it’s candy.

I wrote a bit of this over in Ray’s comments, but I wanted to go into it here for a couple reasons.

One is that I just read a very good article on Roald Dahl in The New Yorker. I didn’t know a lot about him, other than vague rumors about his being a real bastard, and that (my eleven-year-old insists regularly) his first name is pronounced Roo-all, so this was pretty interesting.

Second, I wanted to highly recommend the new film, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

[made with ecto]

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Howl and Father’s Day

elvis1 Comment

So the short review of Howl’s Moving Castle.As Miyazaki goes, don’t expect Spirited Away or Princess Mononoke…. Sweeping vistas, skies that glow with life, inventive creatures, motion that’s not like any other animator.
,

So the short review of Howl’s Moving Castle.

As Miyazaki goes, don’t expect Spirited Away or Princess Mononoke. It’s not even close to the magic of those films.

But as films go — well, it’s still Miyazaki. And he’s fucking brilliant.

As always, it’s beautiful. Sweeping vistas, skies that glow with life, inventive creatures, motion that’s not like any other animator. It’s inventive and clever.

Unlike the other films, though, there are plot and pacing issues. The plot makes little sense, and the title character never really makes any sense, vain, shallow and cowardly one moment, brave and honorable the next. We never really see any reason for anyone to love him, yet love is supposed to be the motivation for much of the plot. It’s a muddle, but a light-weight one. There are also moments that drag, where characters are talking to each other without it seeming very relevant.

There’s plenty to like though; the main character, a girl names Sofi who’s under a curse that turns her into an old woman, seems to change ages continually throughout the film in a deeply surreal way; this wasn’t an accident, I think Miyazaki is saying something with it, but I couldn’t quite crack the code. The voice acting is low key, with good turns by Lauren Bacall, Blythe Danner and Jean Simmons, though Christian Bale is entirely too manly as Howl.

Unexpectedly, Billy Crystal’s vocal performance as Calcifer, a fire demon, was wonderful. Usually when they put someone funny in a part like this, it screws up the character, as with Phil Hartman doing the cat in Kiki. Here, for some reason, Crystal’s performance makes it work.

It’s well worth seeing; I’m hoping the weaknesses were due to it being a story from outside source, not due to any slippage of Miyazaki’s talent.

My father’s day was pretty much uneventful. No one fought, no one cried. The kids and I went to the Winchester Mystery House, a place that seems to have endless entertainment value for Olivia, and then I took off and had a little time to myself while the family made me dinner. Not exactly the plan I had in my mind’s eye for the afternoon, but you take what you can get, and peace is not a bad description for a day. Later, I’ll pour a scotch and watch Six Feet Under, and then I’m thinking good thoughts about sleep, something that’s been in short supply lately.

[ of course after I wrote that, I realized that they’ve moved six feet under to a different night, so I had to content myself with old Monty Python episodes, but you know there’s still sleep to look forward to… ]