Hollywood and Boot Star

Since I’ve been on a shoe theme, I might as well show off my version of hollywood shoes. I’ve wanted a pair of boots from Boot Star for ages, but the last two times I was in SoCal I managed to miss going in; first because I kept showing up when they were closed, and […]

Since I’ve been on a shoe theme, I might as well show off my version of hollywood shoes.

I’ve wanted a pair of boots from Boot Star for ages, but the last two times I was in SoCal I managed to miss going in; first because I kept showing up when they were closed, and the second time, on the way home from Disneyland, I wound up having to ditch a trip through LA because of a carsick kid.

So my one agenda item for this trip, after martinis at Musso and Frank, wasa stop at Boot Star.

Now, I really didn’t mean to buy anything. Boots like these, which I’d kill a man for, go for nearly two grand; and I just can’t bring myself to spend that kind of money on footwear, even if I was still rolling in dotcom era dough. My intent was really just to shop and torment myself (kind of the shopping equivalent of a strip show, where you can look and lust but not actually get any).

Unfortunately, the lovely salesgirl (Heather, whom I’d let walk all over me in her patent-leather-cowboy-boots anytime), pointed out The Sale Rack. And I say ‘unfortunately’ because saving money is the best way to talk yourself into spending it.

Which is how I came home with these – because, you know, everyone needs a pair of hollywood shoes.

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Shindig at the Chateau

I sort of intended to blog about my short trip to hollywood as it happened, every stripper-encounter, every meal or drink in a local hot-spot, every random celebrity sighting. It didn’t quite work that way in practice; work chased me down over and over, and I spent the majority if the two-days-three-nights in SoCal fielding […]

I sort of intended to blog about my short trip to hollywood as it happened, every stripper-encounter, every meal or drink in a local hot-spot, every random celebrity sighting.

It didn’t quite work that way in practice; work chased me down over and over, and I spent the majority if the two-days-three-nights in SoCal fielding questions and answering email.

That’s not to say there wasn’t fun to be had; but I didn’t manage to write any of it down as it happened.

When I say fun, of course, I mean, well, a celebs-eye-view of paparazzi action.

The party mentioned here was going on in my hotel wednesday night; I walked through the middle of it as I came home from seeing a show, after waking past an absolute phalanx of paparazzi to reach the door.

I was sitting in my room later in the evening watching celebs like Paris and Nicky Hilton, Gary Dourdan, Adrian Grenier, Gene Simons, etc etc, leaving the party and getting mobbed – and note that all those links are photos taken that night, as I was watching it from the hotel side.

I didn’t spend a lot of time actually *at* the party, other than walking past Elvis Costello and Diane Krall, Natalie Portman, Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer, Matt Leblanc, and likely several others. The real entertainment was the view of exactly how insane the papaprazzi swarm was. Even when I couldn’t recognize the particular people from the back as they left the party, I could tell exactly how big a deal they are at the moment by the number of flashes that went off as they walked down the driveway.

It’s a nutty life, being a celebrity; seeing it first hand from the inside really drove that home. And it’s funny to walk into a scene like that and have every eye go to you, asking the silent question are you anyone?

Hollywood and Spike heels

I’m staying for a couple of nights in gray, rainy hollywood. I’d like to say that I’m here for the oscars, which are this coming Sunday and for which several blocks of hollywood blvd are blocked off; but no, I’m here instead to enjoy a wednesday evening show of Wicked (which in itself is a […]

I’m staying for a couple of nights in gray, rainy hollywood.

I’d like to say that I’m here for the oscars, which are this coming Sunday and for which several blocks of hollywood blvd are blocked off; but no, I’m here instead to enjoy a wednesday evening show of Wicked (which in itself is a good thing)

I’m staying in hollywood’s gothic glory, the Chateau Marmont (or ‘chateau marmot‘ as my mother and and children would have it); site of John Beluhi’s tragic death, and setting of episodes of Entourage, recordings by Anthony Kiedis and Ville Valo, and where bad girls like Britney and Lindsay get themselves in trouble.

It’s a hotel with a past; the kind of hotel where people look at you as you walk in and out to see if you’re anyone. It’s been here since the early part of the century, and one cannot help but wonder, who else has slept in this room.

I’d like to say I’ve been in the bar, drinking with people who make too much money and spend too much of it on cosmetics and cars; but alas, most of my day I’ve been working, solving all the problems that followed me out of work on a tuesday. I’m not out long enough to have actually nailed anything down, as I did when I went to fiji five years ago, nor even long enough that I needed to tell anyone but my boss; so of course my phone has rung a dozen times, and in the hour I spent in the air with my iPhone switched off, I got 10 emails I needed to answer and a half dozen texts.

Still; working in a king size bed at the Chateau beats being in my office.

It wasn’t all work today; I managed a very fine lunch and several martinis at one of my favorite restaurants, Musso and Frank; the kind of place that reeks of ambiance, the kind of place where cops and writers, stars and moguls, politicians and gangsters, strippers and hustlers, tourists, locals and as-beens all step in for a perfectly grilled steak and an ice cold martini. It’s the kind of place where the characters in my head meet and talk, brood, or seduce one another.

I also managed to have one of those moments I’m prone too, where I encounter a woman who gets into my head in a huge way.

Hollywood blvd is lined with sleaze, and I mean that in both the very best and very worst way. Cheap, glittery sex stores, tee-shirt emporiums, the kind of shops that have name brands on everything they knock off. The too-beautiful and the broken down, the very rich and very poor, the shiny and the tarnished meet in mid-block, the lines where one becomes the other never close to sharply defined. This means it’s both a great place to shop for things you can’t get anywhere else, and a great place to watch people.

Case in point; where else could one find, not one, but many places to buy thigh-high, florescent green plastic platform boots with seven-inch heels – in a men’s size fourteen.

These sorts of stores draw me in; places that sell cheap leather and the sort of lingerie you’d only see on someone paid to wear it, or someone who can’t tell the difference between whore-hot and whore-sleazy. The sort of stores where the shoe soles are not made for walking, but for pointing toward the ceiling.

We were browsing in one such store – my youngest daughter in a frenzy of fashion-shopping, finding the innocence and charm in all that vinyl, my older one trying to look pointedly away from all that funk and sleaze only to find it’s every single place she can think of to look.

I was admiring a rack of stainless-steel-and-leopard-print stiletto heels (wondering vaguely what they’d feel like walking up and down my spine) when I noticed a very pretty young woman trying on a pair of shoes in the back of the store.

Now, I’m not really a foot fetishist; I love women’s feet in that I love every single thing about women’s bodies. Feet are important because they are connected to ankles, calves, knees, and on up, every inch being something love. But – well, some things make a fetishist of me, at least for a moment.

She was trying on the sort of shoes no one – at least no one I’ve ever known – actually wears; this sort of thing.

“Those shoes look incredibly good on you,” I said to her, as she got up and wobbled across the store.

“Thanks; I don’t know if I can walk in them though.”

I looked at her feet, at the six inch spiked heels, at the impossible arch of her instep in them, like a body stretched just short of breaking on a rack; that perfect point of tension that’s just short of too much.

She had tattoos on her feet and ankles, lovely curves to her calves, and these shoes did things to her legs and feet that would break hearts and start wars.

I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

“They’re not really made for, you know, walking,” I said.

She smiled at me in the mirror, then went on practicing walking in them, wobbling around and looking at herself. I helped her look.

I made a vague attempt to leave her alone, but found couldn’t. “They just look make your feet look incredibly sexy,” I said, and she smiled and thanked me; it was the kind of smile I’ve seen before from women who make a living being sexy, but it was also real, with barest touch of self-consciousness about a compliment from a stranger.

“I’m used to platforms,” she said. And I began to visualize tucking dollar bills in her g-string.

I had to walk away from her, my kids interrupting me before I could say more; I was going to ask to see her tattoos, to give me a chance to look at her feet some more; maybe ask her is she was a dancer, and more importantly (since I already knew the answer to that), where she danced.

I lost the moment though, and when I looked back at her she’d decided against the shoes, walking away with empty hands and flip-flop clad feet.

“I don’t think I could walk in them,” she said to me, as se left the store.

“too bad,” I said to her back. Too damned bad.

I was distracted for a good hour, thinking about it, as I found Musso and Frank and ordered lunch; my mind filled, not with images of her hips, or thighs, or face or breasts, as would usually be the case after such a moment, but with images of her feet. I could not get them out of my mind.

Fetishes are funny things.

RIP: David Caruso Jr.

I just read this note on the Dave’s Custom Skulls site: Dave’s Battle with Cancer ended on 2-15-08. Hopefully you were able to know him or maybe were one of the few hundred people around the World to have had the Opportunity to Receive and Enjoy one of his Custom Rings. He will be Missed […]

I just read this note on the Dave’s Custom Skulls site:

Dave’s Battle with Cancer ended on 2-15-08. Hopefully you were able to
know him or maybe were one of the few hundred people around the World
to have had the Opportunity to Receive and Enjoy one of his Custom Rings.
He will be Missed by us all.

My sympathy and condolences to Dave’s family; tragic news from one of my favorite skull ring makes.

I never got around to buying one of Dave’s rings; I regret that now. His work has a rebel yell style to it I love, and I’ve meant for two years to get one of his engraved wings with FTW on it.

Dave’s father may still have some of his work left; I don’t know. I’ll update here later if I hear he does.

UPDATE:

Dave’s father had two rings left. I picked them both up, and I’m keeping one for me and will pass the other to a deserving individual. Give me a yell if you’re interested and we’ll talk.

Movable Type 4 template designer

Ok, so I need some help from a template designer who knows movable type 4. I don’t need a lot, but I do need someone else to suffer the slings and arrows for me. Payment will be in sexual favors and good old yankee dollars. I don’t intend to port my old template as is, […]

Ok, so I need some help from a template designer who knows movable type 4.

I don’t need a lot, but I do need someone else to suffer the slings and arrows for me. Payment will be in sexual favors and good old yankee dollars.

I don’t intend to port my old template as is, but I want to keep some of it’s elements, so I’ve got a pretty clear idea of a starting point.

Brave New World in Gray

I know. I know. It’s scary in here. Different. It’s ok. Really. It’s the same old moronosphere with a new skin. Change is good, they say, and if it isn’t, change is still change. The real story is that I’ve just upgraded to Movable Type 4.1, and because the folks at six-apart feel the need […]

I know. I know. It’s scary in here. Different.

It’s ok. Really.

It’s the same old moronosphere with a new skin. Change is good, they say, and if it isn’t, change is still change.

The real story is that I’ve just upgraded to Movable Type 4.1, and because the folks at six-apart feel the need to change things completely, whle feeling no need at all to maintain backwards compatability, everything in my blog design had to be abandoned in order to convert.

It took me a really long time to feel ok with that. But I think I’m there. And I gotta say, this took a hell of a lot less time than trying to convert everything, even if the result is somewhat grim. I=n fact I managed to do this in between tasks today while waiting for builds to finish

Don’t worry, my logo, at least, will come back. I’m attached to it. I just have to figure out how these fucking widgets work.

Sad Songs of Server Troubles

You may have noticed we’re having some server instability around here; comments disabled for various moronosphere-hosted blogs, server not responding, etc. For those of you I host, you’ll have seen it as well when you try to post. We’re working on it. We have several small problems that are adding up to a systemic pain-in-the-ass, […]

You may have noticed we’re having some server instability around here; comments disabled for various moronosphere-hosted blogs, server not responding, etc.

For those of you I host, you’ll have seen it as well when you try to post.

We’re working on it. We have several small problems that are adding up to a systemic pain-in-the-ass, and solving these issues has more to do with bandwidth (ours, ie, time to work on it) than with any seriousness of the problems.

Fixes should be in place soon, though we may have some downtime somewhere in the next week or two while we update things. I’ll post warnings before that happens.

Happy V

I’ve talked about it before; I will again. I don’t think a lot of the idea of valentines day.

Pink candy hearts and paper cards are not part my celebration of carnal, physical love, nor are they pat of my celebration of romantic love.

My kind of love leaves marks, bruises, welts. It leaves one spent. It doesn’t include a sugar rush and a lot of packaging.

All that aside, though, love is what we make it, and it needs to be celebrated. We need to remember to say it out loud, and to show it with forgiveness and acceptance, respect, an open mind and an open heart.

For those to whom I’ve not say i love you enough lately, I do, even when I forget to say it. For those to whom I have said it, I mean it. Those words don’t come lightly from my lips, and when I say they, they are absolutely real.

Happy Valentines Day, people.

Helping the Helpless

Y’ever try your best to help someone who just won’t be helped? Actually I’m talking about work. We pretty much all have been there when it comes to personal life. I’m in deadline hell; the story is complicated and even if it were worth telling, I couldn’t really tell it anyway. But to tell a […]

Y’ever try your best to help someone who just won’t be helped?

Actually I’m talking about work. We pretty much all have been there when it comes to personal life.

I’m in deadline hell; the story is complicated and even if it were worth telling, I couldn’t really tell it anyway. But to tell a short version, there are software licenses that expire at the end of this month, I have travel plans that eat half a week next week, and due to plans gone awry (I suddenly want to say it like bobby burns, Gang aft agley), and due to unexpected software bugs, I suddenly find that I need to replace infrastructure software two months sooner than expected.

Ok. I can do that. CAD tools and engineering infrastructure is what I do. Solve Problems. Only here’s the thing; sometimes one man can’t do it all.

The tool I’m replacing – a batch queueing system – is wired into every damned thing, in about twenty different ways. Which means that the things that need to change are not all under my control. But I can manage that, I’ve got plans and schedules. I don’t really need sleep, you know, and I can ignore my friends and put off things that need doing at home and at work.

Only today, one of the users I’m giving it all for came back to me with a whole new plan which consisted of, “no, I don’t know anything about what you’re doing, and don’t really understand what you’re asking, but I reject it and propose you do it all my way.”

Ten years ago, I guess I would have come back with exact details on why he’s such a fucking moron and explained to him that if he’d just try doing things the right way (ie,my way), suddenly most of the problems he’s having would go away, fucking *poof*. And then I would have stared updating my resume.

Sigh. Sometimes growing up sucks.

I managed to respond in a businesslike way, clarifying that 1) I was doing all this to support his team, 2) no, the solution he countered with was technically impossible, and 3) his fears of disaster were based on not understanding the technology. And I even said it all without using the word ‘idiot’ even once. Tomorrow, I fully expect him to re-iterate his points, adding extra emphasis, in effect saying “I don’t have time to read your email, just go make pigs fly for me, slave!”.

And I’ll brandish imaginary weapons, then I’ll go solve his problem against his will, knowing that I’ll win in the end, without him ever knowing I’ve again saved him from himself.

It’s a thankless task, but someone’s gotta do it.

Nerd Handbook

Rands In Repose has written a frighteningly, hysterically accurate piece called The Nerd Handbook. “Understand your nerd’s relation to the computer. It’s clichéd, but a nerd is defined by his computer, and you need to understand why. First, a majority of the folks on the planet either have no idea how a computer works or […]

Rands In Repose has written a frighteningly, hysterically accurate piece called The Nerd Handbook.

“Understand your nerd’s relation to the computer. It’s clichéd, but a nerd is defined by his computer, and you need to understand why.

First, a majority of the folks on the planet either have no idea how a computer works or they look at it and think “it’s magic”. Nerds know how a computer works. They intimately know how a computer works. When you ask a nerd, “When I click this, it takes awhile for the thing to show up. Do you know what’s wrong?” they know what’s wrong. A nerd has a mental model of the hardware and the software in his head. While the rest of the world sees magic, your nerd knows how the magic works, he knows the magic is a long series of ones and zeros moving across your screen with impressive speed, and he knows how to make those bits move faster.

The nerd has based his career, maybe his life, on the computer, and as we’ll see, this intimate relationship has altered his view of the world. He sees the world as a system which, given enough time and effort, is completely knowable. This is a fragile illusion that your nerd has adopted, but it’s a pleasant one that gets your nerd through the day.”

Read the whole thing. If you’re reading this blog, you almost certainly are that nerd, or live with that nerd, or have at least dated that nerd. You know exactly what Rand is talking about.

(Thanks to my dear, sweet Merrick for sending that to me!)