Category: blogosphere

blog like no one’s reading

Karl ElvisLeave a comment

I was helping out a friend of mine the other night – a blogger who’s stopped blogging but wants to start again (i’ll leave the question of exactly who that is open, in case he doesn’t actually get so far as starting). While working on importing his entries into a current movable type install, I […]

I was helping out a friend of mine the other night – a blogger who’s stopped blogging but wants to start again (i’ll leave the question of exactly who that is open, in case he doesn’t actually get so far as starting).

While working on importing his entries into a current movable type install, I remembered how much a miss doing this; not just the blogging, but the tools and support stuff – the technology itself.

I enjoy problem solving, and for some reason I have a particular gift for it. If I were a medical doctor, I’d be the hack and slash guy doing battlefield surgery, or I’d be doctor house solving the mystery while not really getting all that involved with the people (and gobbling all the vicodin I could get my hands on). This is why I’ve wound up doing what I do at work. I’m not a programmer (though I can program), not a hardware engineer (though I work in hardware engineering). What I do, when I’m at my best, is to delve into why something broke, what made it break, and how to un-break it as quickly as possible. It’s a combination of pattern recognition skills, memory for trivia (I remember why we made some choice eight years ago, and what wraps what where, and why), and the ability to step back and look at the whole system, not just the micro-point that broke.

I’m not, however, your guy for long range planning. I’m an improviser. I’m Ornette Coleman, not Gil Evans. I wouldn’t write symphonies, and I’d never play it the same way twice. I cook the same way; when I write down a recipe of mine, every line contains an implied ‘or whatever’.

That’s why I like this sort of work; I can help solve one specific problem, for one specific person, tuning and customizing to need. A can find the tools to solve something and make them work in ways they’re maybe not intended to work. And that? That’s just fun.

The trouble I have, of course, is that I suffer from a lack of attention span. That I’m significantly ADHD should not come as a surprise to anyone who’s ever had lunch or dinner with me; I’m visibly thinking three different things most of the time, and I can’t really sit still without fidgeting for more than 15 minutes unless I have something useful to do with my hands. I have both the classic short attention span and lack of attention to detail, and the occasional hyper-focus state that lets me drill into something intensively to the exclusion of everything else.

The trouble, obviously, is that there’s no known on switch for hyper-focus. We can’t shout ‘engage!’ and have it come on like jump. It comes, unfortunately, when it comes; and task switching on a constant basis seems to make it all the harder.

Working with Movable Type more the last few days has reminded me of how much I miss the days when we were all blogging with a frenzy; when we’d all sit at some social function and think this would be great in my blog. I knew that my words would be read and commented on my people all over the globe, and in some cases, I’d inspire my friends to write on similar themes (or they’d inspire me, in those classic ‘started as a comment in someone’s blog’ posts). There was a wild energy in the loose community of bloggers; like a party where people came and went but the music didn’t stop.

What I miss isn’t just my own easy productivity; what I miss is that community dialog.

Read more “blog like no one’s reading”

big five – the wood anniversary

Karl ElvisLeave a comment

Five years. 1,175 entries. 6,000 comments. Three ISP’s, a half dozen servers, several crashes. It’s been a bit of a ride, huh? Five years ago yesterday I started blogging. You can read about that here or here or here or here. And each yeah it seems like I have less to say about it. This […]

Five years.

1,175 entries.

6,000 comments.

Three ISP’s, a half dozen servers, several crashes.

It’s been a bit of a ride, huh?

Five years ago yesterday I started blogging. You can read about that here or here or here or here.

And each yeah it seems like I have less to say about it.

This last year has been a fucked up ride. If you’re reading you know a bit about it. If you haven’t been, feel free to. It’s been a terrible year for me creatively; I’ve written fuck-all, and I’m not seeing that get better yet. Blogging has fallen victim to all this, but so has every other form of self-expression I have.

Here’s to a change in all that.

To all you bloggers out there, write something. Come up for air now and then. Facebook and twitter and myspace ain’t enough.

For me – I have more to say; I don’t know why I’m having so much trouble saying it.

Meanwhile, tonight I go look at a sketch for my backpiece, and tomorrow I pick up my thruxton. Speed and pain, baby.

crested wave

Karl ElvisLeave a comment

Does it ever seem like somehow, without anyone planning it, blogging just sort of ended? I look over the list of blogs I generally follow (almost to a one they’re friends blogs, though some only after I began to follow as a reader), and on by one, they’re quitting, going on extended hiatus, moving, or […]

Does it ever seem like somehow, without anyone planning it, blogging just sort of ended?

I look over the list of blogs I generally follow (almost to a one they’re friends blogs, though some only after I began to follow as a reader), and on by one, they’re quitting, going on extended hiatus, moving, or just sort or dying of attrition.

Is it just my circle? Have we just sort of all spent our wad, as it were, all at the same time? Or is it everywhere?

Maybe a wave just crested; to mis-quote Hunter S Thompson, maybe we’re at that place where the wave finally brakes and rolls back.

Or maybe we’re just all too busy; we’ve built a debt of wasted time and now we need to pay, working harder for all the time we spent blogging about the work were were not getting done.

I’m not sure what it is; but it seems to be going on everywhere.

Maybe it’s that we’re so over-saturated with outlet. Facebook, myspace, meebo, bebo, flickr, fetlife; twitter and jaiku and plurk and pownce, orkut and friendster, okcupid, adult-freind-finder, livejournal, and a hundred more college boys are hacking up now.

We have so many places to talk about ourselves, that no one can ever find each other; and when we do, who can read it all?

Or maybe it’s me; maybe I’m just tired of reading and not writing. Because, egotist that I am, I cannot read a blog when comments are off, cannot browse a forum unless I’m signed on to post. Maybe my own failure of output deadens my desire for input.

Yet, still, I see blogs ending all around me, writers closing doors vocally or silently. It means something, even if I’m not sure what.

What’s interesting, though, is that I suddenly feel motivated to create. And I know, this time, exactly why. Several friends from other sites have, lately, happened upon my fiction; and their interest, their feedback, sparks my desire, sparks my writer’s voice. I remember why i did this.

I’ve never been that kind of artist who creates for the act of creation, then destroys of gives away. I’ve never been the un-signed artist who leaves beauty scattered behind. I create, simply, because it feels so very good to give that gift to someone. It is, almost exactly, like the engendering orgasm; that moment of power, control. I am, completely and utterly, in control of your pleasure and pain, and I see/feel/hear it.

It isn’t simply the joy of creation; it’s the joy on control, the joy on causing joy.

I like to think, given the tools, and the solitude, I would create. Mountain top, or dungeon cell, or lonely island, I would create to create. But in truth I wouldn’t. I’d do what I’ve been doing the last two years; I’d start, and then I’d start again, and then I’d start again, and never finish. Creating for no one is masturbation with no orgasm, it’s cooking food no one will eat.

Art should be for arts sake, we like to say, but I cannot find my creativity there. I find it in my audience.

My hope – and it may be in vain, because time is never on my side these days – is that an audience of only one, may be enough.

Who knows, though. Maybe flood-gates will open, not just for me but for all of us. Maybe we just need something to write about.

Search Word Poetry

Karl ElvisLeave a comment

It’s funny, I’m suddenly seeing a resurgence it hits in my logs, on “survivor am naked“, which I think we can all agree is a worthy sight. Now, these never really went away; they’d turn up monthly or so, proving that america loves a naked,fake-breasted lesbian, no matter how long she’s been gone from reality […]

It’s funny, I’m suddenly seeing a resurgence it hits in my logs, on “survivor am naked“, which I think we can all agree is a worthy sight.

Now, these never really went away; they’d turn up monthly or so, proving that america loves a naked,fake-breasted lesbian, no matter how long she’s been gone from reality teevee. But when it was announced that she’d be in the currently-running Survivor: Fans vs Faves, the hit count went up, and is still going up.

Which is ok by me, even though I never actually posted the above-mentioned titty shots of Miss Survivor Ami.

But this brings us to the topic of Search Word Poetry (or as originally coined, Googl-oetry, though I don’t like that term, being that it can be from any search engine, not only google).

The idea’s simple; dig out the search-strings that brought readers to your blog from whatever logs and meters you may choose (urchin, sitemeter, whatever).

Use those phrases to create your own poetry.

Vis:

tell me more about the devil, who is he?
catholic ron paul?
polish guy and catholic in a boat joke?
phone numbers to recorded preachers?
bitch phone number?
pastor melissa scott sex life?

     —Exterminator

Aphrodite’s Greatest Failure:
How sexuality is viewed across religions,
Catholic churches view on premarital
Religions who allow sexuality.
Most men are by nature perverted –
The result of secret sin.
     —the chaplain

weird photos of naked girls
let’s see some women with nice asses that like sex
girls fuck with fruits
     —greta christina

gay crack head
morphine
subbing for algebra with kids that won’t be quiet
i hate texas
     —circe

Now, I wish to hell I was more a poet and could do what these lovely citizens have done. Because god knows I get some good search terms:

tentacle rape
soccerboy rape
butch daddy erotica
daddy fuck me harder
my neighbor sucked my balls her mouth
girls doing a snowball blowjob
best busty chocolate blow jobs
extrem big woman trampling
shoes kiss trample video
awk machine gun
how to roast a pig cinder block
chicken and pig, breakfast
roasting pig in virginia
i have a crush on adam duritz
question cross ring womens indian larry
perfect, lamar thought. just incest and old men with young girls fucking porn perfect
ass fucken sex
fuck me hard art
squid fuck
fucking tarzan
air stewardess fucked
spicy labia fucking images
tuna skroodle
sex skunked
naked taiko drummers
local loop call bugging beeping noise
virgin digital exercise your music muscle
titanic engine size
licked the scotch off her tits
she moaned car tits thrust show
jessi combs belly tattoo
jessi combs thong picture
pussy tattoos
moomin tattoo
what movies do maggie gyllenhaal get naked in
bars over eyes
starch and iodine leaks threw the bag results
my hand slid under her dress
hand in her panties
drenched panties
silky panties photos women pubic hairs
picked up her panties and stuffed them in her mouth as a gag

But you know, I just can’t seem to make it all turn into poetry.

So two things:

1) go do your own and post it
2) if you get inspired by any of the above, post your result in my comments

Because someone has to make art out of all this, even if it isn’t me.

Sad Songs of Server Troubles

Karl ElvisLeave a comment

You may have noticed we’re having some server instability around here; comments disabled for various moronosphere-hosted blogs, server not responding, etc. For those of you I host, you’ll have seen it as well when you try to post. We’re working on it. We have several small problems that are adding up to a systemic pain-in-the-ass, […]

You may have noticed we’re having some server instability around here; comments disabled for various moronosphere-hosted blogs, server not responding, etc.

For those of you I host, you’ll have seen it as well when you try to post.

We’re working on it. We have several small problems that are adding up to a systemic pain-in-the-ass, and solving these issues has more to do with bandwidth (ours, ie, time to work on it) than with any seriousness of the problems.

Fixes should be in place soon, though we may have some downtime somewhere in the next week or two while we update things. I’ll post warnings before that happens.

Nerd Handbook

Karl ElvisLeave a comment

Rands In Repose has written a frighteningly, hysterically accurate piece called The Nerd Handbook. “Understand your nerd’s relation to the computer. It’s clichéd, but a nerd is defined by his computer, and you need to understand why. First, a majority of the folks on the planet either have no idea how a computer works or […]

Rands In Repose has written a frighteningly, hysterically accurate piece called The Nerd Handbook.

“Understand your nerd’s relation to the computer. It’s clichéd, but a nerd is defined by his computer, and you need to understand why.

First, a majority of the folks on the planet either have no idea how a computer works or they look at it and think “it’s magic”. Nerds know how a computer works. They intimately know how a computer works. When you ask a nerd, “When I click this, it takes awhile for the thing to show up. Do you know what’s wrong?” they know what’s wrong. A nerd has a mental model of the hardware and the software in his head. While the rest of the world sees magic, your nerd knows how the magic works, he knows the magic is a long series of ones and zeros moving across your screen with impressive speed, and he knows how to make those bits move faster.

The nerd has based his career, maybe his life, on the computer, and as we’ll see, this intimate relationship has altered his view of the world. He sees the world as a system which, given enough time and effort, is completely knowable. This is a fragile illusion that your nerd has adopted, but it’s a pleasant one that gets your nerd through the day.”

Read the whole thing. If you’re reading this blog, you almost certainly are that nerd, or live with that nerd, or have at least dated that nerd. You know exactly what Rand is talking about.

(Thanks to my dear, sweet Merrick for sending that to me!)

a little help for my friend

Karl ElvisLeave a comment

This is not a request I make because of a political cause, or because of some overt sense of social consciousness. It’s a request I make because a friend needs it. Brandon, the man who makes *this* possible, and who won’t take any form of repayment from me, even gratitude, is in harm’s way for […]

This is not a request I make because of a political cause, or because of some overt sense of social consciousness.

It’s a request I make because a friend needs it.

Brandon, the man who makes *this* possible, and who won’t take any form of repayment from me, even gratitude, is in harm’s way for speaking his mind on a political issue.

Read his story here: http://brandondawson.org/blogosphere/begging-for-help

Brandon has proven himself to be the kind of guy you trust because he’s worth it; he stands by commitments, he pays debts, and he’s generous to a fault. I’ve never met him, but am proud to call him friend. He and I share general political leanings, but even if that were not so, I’d be on his side in this.

If you can help him, please do, if only with a link to the posting, above. I don’t know how big the problem really is, but I certainly have Brandon’s back, for what it’s worth.

Pretty Dumb Interviews

elvis2 Comments

One of my favorite bloggers, and one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, Chelsea Girl (of Pretty Dumb Things) was recently interviewed by Susie Bright. The interview is fabulous and could have gone on twice as long – click here to listen. Turns out, in addition to being brilliant, she also has […]

One of my favorite bloggers, and one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, Chelsea Girl (of Pretty Dumb Things) was recently interviewed by Susie Bright.

The interview is fabulous and could have gone on twice as long – click here to listen.

Turns out, in addition to being brilliant, she also has an incredibly sexy voice. The kind of voice I’d pay to hear whisper my name, if you get what I’m sayin.

straight 8

elvis8 Comments

Ok, i got tagged on this one (lifts shirt to show indecipherable spray-paint marking). I don’t usually respond to the tag kinda meme (nor dares neither), but a meme that came from susie bright, in which she tagged two of my very favorite girl-sex-bloggers (bitchy and chelsea) is simply hard to say no to. Or […]

Ok, i got tagged on this one (lifts shirt to show indecipherable spray-paint marking).

I don’t usually respond to the tag kinda meme (nor dares neither), but a meme that came from susie bright, in which she tagged two of my very favorite girl-sex-bloggers (bitchy and chelsea) is simply hard to say no to.

Or maybe it’s just that BJ and CG are both impossible to say no to.

In any case, here are the rules:

1. Post these rules before you present the facts.
2. Start with eight random facts/habits about yourself.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

But the game seems to have taken on ‘6. …and then change the rules’.

So I’m gonna flip CG’s meme and give you seven true, and one not. See if you can pick the one.

1) My feet are different sizes; really different sizes. I care just barely wear a pair of shoes, and one’s always too big or two small.

2) I once got a blowjob from one of the bridemaids at a wedding, while her husband was inside drinking shots with my friends.

3) I have a half sister I didn’t know about until I was in my 20s. I kind of wish I’d met her without knowing who she was so – well, you can finish that story for yourself.

4) Despite the fact that I don’t smoke pot, I still own a bong that is made up of roughly eight feet of plexiglass tubing and five feet of rubber hose.

5) I’ve bought drinks for Todd Rundgren, talked about tropical fish with Tom Waits, and almost saw Heather Locklear get pantsed by her daughter.

6) I once fucked a teenage girl in a catholic church.

7) The first time I got high it was weed I’d stolen from my parents.

8) I have a hunk of cat claw embedded in my left cheek.

Have fun. I won’t tag anyone else but if you steal, steal well.

disruption is my way of life

elvis8 Comments

Due to an unexpected schedule change, The Moronosphere and all it’s related blogs and domains will be moving to a new physical server this week. Not the best timing for me, personally but I live here by the good grace and generosity of my friend Brandon, and so I am grateful even if a bit […]

Due to an unexpected schedule change, The Moronosphere and all it’s related blogs and domains will be moving to a new physical server this week. Not the best timing for me, personally but I live here by the good grace and generosity of my friend Brandon, and so I am grateful even if a bit frazzled.

What all this means is that this site may unexpectedly vanish for a day or so while we change ip addresses; comments may cease to work while databases are moved.

If that happens, don’t worry; being a fly-by-night sort of operation, we’re flying-by-night (oh god stop me from quoting a rush song). Things should stabilize by next week, on bigger, better, faster hardware.