Most of my Songs are Contraptions

“Some songs need work; some write themselves. “Came out of the ground like a potato, always the best ones,” Waits says. “Most of my songs are contraptions. Take the head off that doll and screw it onto the side of that washing machine. But the best ones come out just like a litter. I usually […]

“Some songs need work; some write themselves. “Came out of the ground like a potato, always the best ones,” Waits says. “Most of my songs are contraptions. Take the head off that doll and screw it onto the side of that washing machine. But the best ones come out just like a litter. I usually start with two tunes, put them in a room together and they have kids. There are usually two songs that are the parents of the rest. That’s my theory.”

My mother, actually, just pointed out this interview to me.

SFGate’s Joel Selvin, who used to be a terrible pop music critic back in the, what, seventies, eighties, whenever he started, but has turned into a pretty good writer these days, interviewing Tom Waits.

That’s a really good interview. He mostly lets Waits, a somewhat reclusive man, speak for himself, but the writing manages to keep the vaguely surreal, vaguely poetic tone of Waits work. Not an easy thing to do and Selvin pulls it off.

I met Waits once, in Hawaii.

Read more “Most of my Songs are Contraptions”

L O V E & H A T E

How I love hand tattoos.

How I love hand tattoos.

If I could have one tattoo – just one, that’s what it would be. On the hand.

There are tons of different options. The classic swallows or other symbols on the web between thumb and forefinger. Pictures on the hands. Words along the outside edge, which are a military tradition so you could send a message while you salute.

There are a lot of bad ideas for hand tattoos of course. And I really don’t like the wedding ring tattoo idea. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, it just doesn’t speak to me.

There are reasons not to tattoo the hands. First, because of the mobility of that skin, the tattoos break down and fade quickly. The skin moves, it’s exposed to the sun. It’s not a great place for color tattoos or small delicate detailed tattoos.

But more — it’s a commitment. It’s a huge commitment. People with no tattoos don’t know; people with tattoos in hide-able places don’t know. Once tattoos move from places you can hind in normal clothes, it all changes. And it’s not where you think, this line. It’s not the elbows when you’re in short sleeves. It’s not the wrist when you’re in long sleeves. It’s somewhere on the upper half of the biceps or six inches up from the wrists. Because as you move, things show.

And here’s the thing. Once people notice extensive, elaborate tattoos, they treat you different. Not always bad different, in a lot of places you get more respect or recognition for being heavily tattooed. But it’s going to change people’s opinion of you. Forever.

Read more “L O V E & H A T E”

Ethay Oronospheremay

Ok, this is just fucking stupid. And yet, I like it. The Moronosphere, In Pig Latin. Courtesy of the Crapola Web Translator. Hey, it beats watching my football team get slapped around like little schoolgirls.

Ok, this is just fucking stupid.

And yet, I like it.

The Moronosphere, In Pig Latin.

Courtesy of the Crapola Web Translator.

Hey, it beats watching my football team get slapped around like little schoolgirls.

stop thinking, start writing

I had a long conversation over the last couple of days, about writing. Julie over at Analyze Julie, she managed to give me one of thoise virtual shakings I need now and then. What she said, in effect, was “quit thinking about it and start writing.” Well, sure. I could do that.

I had a long conversation over the last couple of days, about writing.

Julie over at Analyze Julie, she managed to give me one of thoise virtual shakings I need now and then.

What she said, in effect, was “quit thinking about it and start writing.”

Well, sure. I could do that.

Read more “stop thinking, start writing”

The Mystic Pig

How many books are there out there that bring you to a screeching halt? That make you stop and say ‘wow’ out loud when you read them?

The Mystic Pig by Richard Katrovas

One of — and I’m not kidding — the best books I’ve ever read. And no one’s ever heard of it.

Where to start.

How many books are there out there that bring you to a screeching halt? That make you stop and say ‘wow’ out loud when you read them?

The Mystic Pig by Richard Katrovas

One of — and I’m not kidding — the best books I’ve ever read. And no one’s ever heard of it.

Read more “The Mystic Pig”

How’d I get here?

It’s one of those circular kind of things. One of those incestous blogger deals.

It’s one of those circular kind of things.

One of those incestuous blogger deals.

A bloggers circle jerk.

Wait, it’s warm in here. Is it warm in here? Maybe it’s just me.

So I’m reading the incomparable Doxy’s latest blog entry over at Phone Slut Diary. And she mentions Eros Blog.

So I hadn’t looked at Eros Blog in a long time, I’d forgotten it. Oh Yeah, I’m thinking, I should get over there and maybe link to it.

And so I go to look at Eros Blog. And what do I find? I’m already there.

That’s just plain cool. Thanks Bacchus. Links back atcha.

A Fine Day on Folsom Street

Sunday: I lost count of how many penises I saw. We got dozens of men out of their pants. I fell in love with a woman who claimed not to like boys, but had a Daddy’s Little Girl tattoo. She asked to me adjust her corset and enjoyed when I ‘accidently’ felt her up, over […]

Sunday:

  • I lost count of how many penises I saw.
  • We got dozens of men out of their pants.
  • I fell in love with a woman who claimed not to like boys, but had a Daddy’s Little Girl tattoo.
  • She asked to me adjust her corset and enjoyed when I ‘accidently’ felt her up, over and over.
  • A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence fell in love with me.
  • My Kilt Inspector girlfriends showed up, but did not inspect my kilt.
  • Several other people did.
  • A woman asked to me twirl.
  • I twirled.
  • A beautiful woman said I was only her second choice for Big Bad Daddy. Which never happens.
  • A beautiful swinger couple almost took me home, and I should have gone.
  • …At least with HER.
  • I got a leather kilt.

And a very very good time was had by all.

Folsom Street Fair. The Utilikilts booth.

Read more “A Fine Day on Folsom Street”

Leather Sunday

I’m working the Folsom Street Fair today. This is the leather pride/BDSM fair, South of Market, SF. One of my favorite events to work. Yeah, it’s silly. That’s part of why I like it. Now that’s not to say BDSM is silly. Far from it; while I may not dress up in leather or role-play […]

I’m working the Folsom Street Fair today.

This is the leather pride/BDSM fair, South of Market, SF. One of my favorite events to work.

Yeah, it’s silly. That’s part of why I like it.

Now that’s not to say BDSM is silly. Far from it; while I may not dress up in leather or role-play full time, still, I’m bent in that general direction and am certainly as kinky as 98% of the people I’l meet today.

No, it’s the scene that’s silly, with it’s ‘play dress-up’ mentality and it’s rules and stagey vibes of ‘top’ and ‘bottom’. Silly in a very good way, of course. But the fair is silly for lots of other reasons; the kinky and the odd and the people who just like to play dress-up all come out. We’ll see people in chain mail, people in silk, corsets, as much nudity as people can get away with, we’ll see leather and codpieces and people in chains and people playing out games they usually keep in the bedroom. We’ll see posing and pretending, but also those who say “I can be me, here, today”.

Silly. In the best possible way.

Also very titilating. I come home from this event charged up and ready to rock.

The kilt inspector girls from the my last highland games promised they’d show up; we’ll see if they do. I promise, ladies, no names forgotten, but you still owe me pictures.

Thus I shall strap on my kilt, lace up my boots, and off I go north to liberate you from your pants.

Take Me Out To The…

This isn’t really like going to a ballgame. Not at all. It’s like going to fancy hotel that overlooks a ballgame. I can’t honestly say if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. But I can tell you it was fun. Last year, at a school charity auction, one of the families we’re friends […]

This isn’t really like going to a ballgame. Not at all.

It’s like going to fancy hotel that overlooks a ballgame.

I can’t honestly say if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. But I can tell you it was fun.

Last year, at a school charity auction, one of the families we’re friends with bought box tickets to a Giants game. I don’t know what they paid, and I have no idea what the box actually costs.

But this is what we’re talking about.

Read more “Take Me Out To The…”