Month: August 2005

One Click Away

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Whirlbrain, one of those lovely people I know only as another blogger, but whom I’m glad to know, hits it right on the fucking head.It’s funny, that blog depression thing, silly as it is, distills something floating in the ether for a lot of us who’ve been blogging for a while.

Whirlbrain, one of those lovely people I know only as another blogger, but whom I’m glad to know, hits it right on the fucking head.

It’s funny, that blog depression thing, silly as it is, distills something floating in the ether for a lot of us who’ve been blogging for a while. Something about the point where the blog stops being an outlet and starts being something else, a frustration, a responsibility.

We always say to each other, like some twelve-step sponsor saying no don’t take a drink, ‘don’t stop, just take a break.’ But there’s the need to make some stupid self-destructive gesture. It’s not the stopping we want, it’s the feeling of putting a bullet in its head.

But that’s the sort of pointless thing we all know is stupid even as we say it.

Still, I understand. I’ve had moments. I’ve twice taken my blog down in rage and frustration, moved it all aside, a mental ‘to be deleted’ tag on the files. One ‘rm blog/*‘ command from nuking the files, one click of the ‘delete this blog’ button. I know I won’t do it, I’ve deleted work before and always, always regretted it. But there’s that moment, like a bridge jumper thinking I could, but today I won’t.

There’s empty beauty in pointless gestures. Silent sorrow in empty boats.

Authors who make you crazy

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I’ve been waiting for GRR Martin’s A Feast for Crows for – hell, it seems like a decade. It’s the fourth book in his phenomenal A Song of Ice and Fire.I just read that he’s done, and I went looking to see when my book will ship.

Dammit.

I’ve been waiting for GRR Martin‘s A Feast for Crows for – hell, it seems like a decade. It’s the fourth book in his phenomenal A Song of Ice and Fire.

I just read that he’s done, and I went looking to see when my book will ship. And found this.

In short, the damned guy has written such a fucking brick that his publishers demanded he split it. Which is a great idea, I hate reading a total brick of a book. Only, he decided to do it his own fucking way, and instead of slicing it down the middle, he split it along character lines.

This epic has many POV (Point of View) characters, shifting by chapter from character to character. Martin’s so good that this works, though sometimes you wind up waiting to get back to your favorites.

Here, he split it such that this book has one set of POV characters, and the NEXT has the other. So now we have to wait another, what, five years to get back to the characters he left out of crows.

Grumble. Grumble.

If these books were not so goddamned good, I wouldn’t care. But it’s already been so long I forget what was happening; I’ll have to go read the whole series again, or hope for a complete plot synopsis. I’ll then devour the new one, like with Harry Potter, reading it as fast as I can. And then I’ll be done with it and have the eternal wait start again.

Go read A Song of Ice and Fire. Some of the best fantasy ever. But wait until the last book is out. Martin will make you crazy otherwise…

Rock Star – no more fucking reality teevee!

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I’m hooked hard on Rockstar INXS. I’m looking forward to the tuesday show all week.

Fuck.

Sucked in again.

I’m hooked hard on Rockstar INXS. I’m looking forward to the tuesday show all week.

Some of these people are good. The house band is awesome. INXS and Dave Navarro make a great panel; no fucked up American Idol crap.

I wanted not to like it. Not like I really cared a lot about INXS, but they were a major band at one time and I liked ’em. But it seemed like ultimate sellout. And it is a sellout, absolutely. But…

But damn. Good teevee.

On the other hand, I’m over BlowOut. Really. I’ll never watch it again. Promise.

Rock Star is just hitting the point where it’s getting really interesting; almost all the weak performers are gone, and it’s getting to the point where they’re going to have to start choosing the weaker of three good people, instead of the obvious loser. That’s going to get harder each week.

Personally, I’m rooting for JD, but Marty is a close second. And you know, I hate that I care.

Blog Depression

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as blogging has exploded and, under the stewardship of the veterans, the form has matured more and more bloggers are finding themselves disillusioned, dissatisfied, taking long breaks, and in many cases simply closing up shop. this debilitating scourge ebbs and flows but there is hardly a blogger among us who has not felt it’s dark touch.

From The Nonist:

a nonist public service pamphlet:

there is a growing epidemic in the cyberworld. a scourge which causes more suffering with each passing day. as blogging has exploded and, under the stewardship of the veterans, the form has matured more and more bloggers are finding themselves disillusioned, dissatisfied, taking long breaks, and in many cases simply closing up shop. this debilitating scourge ebbs and flows but there is hardly a blogger among us who has not felt it’s dark touch. we’re speaking, of course, about blog depression.

You know, it’s funny because it’s true.

A vile drink

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I keep thinking I should try it, but when it comes down to it, I’d rather just drink. I’m throwing a luau today; mai tais, hawaiian food (vaguely hawaiian, anyway), hawaiian music.

No, I’m not gonna roast a fucking pig. I keep thinking I should try it, but when it comes down to it, I’d rather just drink.

I’m throwing a luau today, for my daughter’s 7th birthday; mai tais, hawaiian food (vaguely hawaiian, anyway), hawaiian music around the pool.

My goal for the day – don’t kill anyone. Because, you know, it could happen. Rum makes a man crazy, sometimes. And almost without exception, I’m armed with sharp, pointy things.

     “it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels.” — Elizabeth Swann

It’s true, and I must say, any ladies of age who choose to show up in bikinis had better watch out. There’s no question, no question at all, that I’m feeling my inner scoundrel today; and that’s just the coffee so far. When we add ol’ demon Rum to the mix, watch out.

google goodness

elvisLeave a comment

You know, there are a number of reasons to check one’s hit logs.

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You know, there are a number of reasons to check one’s hit logs. See if traffic’s up or down, see if hits are coming from some other web site that’s linked to me (Thanks Ang, I got mad hits from coolios); see which old entries are getting hit.

But one of the very best things is to see the weird random googlings that lead you all to me.

I get an absolute shitload, for instance, of hits on fucking ‘taco flavored kisses‘ because I once quoted that stupid south park song in an entry about taco flavored cheese (ick). I get hits and hits and hits from searches on the tasty Jessi Combs. I get hits on jazz stuff, on peanut butter fudge recipes, on the phrase “Trample Me”

And I get hits daily on the phrase “Skull Ring“.

But the funny stuff isn’t the stuff I’ve specifically blogged about. For some reason, I get hits at least weekly on the phrase “Daddy fucks me” or some variant; “daddy fuck me hard“, “fuck me so hard it hurts“. “fuck me kitten” showed up today. And every time I see one of these in my logs, I get this stupid grin on my face.

I really should capture these on an ongoing basis somewhere, build a page out of them automatically. It’d make an excellent geek project.

Edit: I just got another one, for, get this, girls sticking live fish up there (sic) pussies.

And I wanna ask, who are you, who’s googling that?

[made with ecto]

who needs sleep, anyway?

elvisLeave a comment

I’m getting on to that fog state where I’m sleepy and wired; I fall asleep when I’m watching TV but can’t sleep when I get in bed. I need to do some one some violence, but it needs to be, you know, the good hurt kind of violence.
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I swear I haven’t slept more than three hours any night the last week.

I’m getting on to that fog state where I’m sleepy and wired; I fall asleep when I’m watching TV but can’t sleep when I get in bed.

I need to do someone some violence, but it needs to be, you know, the good hurt kind of violence.

Soon, if this keeps going, I’ll get to the hallucination phase. That’s where it gets entertaining.

I dunno what the fuck it is. Ok, well, that’s not true, completely. Some of it’s the cocktail of stress my life has become the last few months; new speed bumps in my road, old speed bumps come back. The usual, only more. And there’s the low-grade mental and physical health shit that comes with that; not getting enough exercise, drinking too much, thinking about sex and escape all day and not having the time or energy or whatever for enough of either.

The wonder of it all is that I have not been sick, really sick, in almost a year. With kids in school, I’m used to having at least two major colds and a sinus infection every winter.

But it all adds up to no sleep. I managed to get myself on a school schedule last week, driving my kids to early day camps, and my clock’s set for early wake-up already; yet my sleep-time clock (damn, I keep typing that as ‘cock’ – see where my brain is at?) is still set for well past midnight no matter how I try to get it earlier.

I need to channel is all into something. I need to get back to the gym and start pumping iron, I need to get my bicycle tuned up so I can ride it (21 gears don’t help much when the front derailleur won’t shift). And I need to get my head off of things I want but can’t have. I need to get back to living in the here-and-now.

Or I need to go back to using narcotics.

Who needs a good spanking? I need to take out a little something on you. Now, not fair offering if you’re far away and can’t travel.

[made with ecto]