I’m obsessing over her.
I can’t stop. I can’t stop thinking about her death. I know next to nothing, so I imagine scenarios.
each thing I imagine is horrifying.
I finally broke down and cried today, real tears, wracking sobs. It did not help; it did not make it feel any more real.
My mind won’t construct a world without her in it;mI keep looking for on twitter, bsky or facebook. I keep thinking there’s been a mistake.
I miss her so fucking much.
I’m useless. I can’t work, can’t sleep. I’m pretending I’m ok, because no one would understand.
I don’t know how people cope with this. I’m undone by it.
i feel like this will destroy me, and i kind of want it to. Oblivion sounds better than hole she left at the center of me.