lying on a beach

I was lying on the beach – or as much beach as you get on Hawaii’s Big Island, which is more a giant hunk of lava than an island, and thus more generally rocky than sandy. I was in shady spot under a small palm tree, dozing after a picnic lunch and an hour of […]

I was lying on the beach – or as much beach as you get on Hawaii’s Big Island, which is more a giant hunk of lava than an island, and thus more generally rocky than sandy. I was in shady spot under a small palm tree, dozing after a picnic lunch and an hour of snorkeling just above Pu`uhonua o Honaunau.

As i drifted out of sleep, i noticed a woman sitting on the lava-rock wall near me

My best guess, though it can be hard to tell, is that she was in her late fourties, or her early fifties. Her hair, cut short, was a sort of color that made it hard to tell her age; hard to know if it was more gray or more sandy brown, but it was certainly somewhere between.

She was on her cell phone, facing away from me. She was loosely wrapped in a faded pāreu that looked like it was once vivid purple. I noticed her, at first, only because i could hear her voice. But then i payed more attention to her because i liked her tanned back. She was the color people get when they live here, that deep sort of tan one gets from being in the sun every day, not a vacation tan. She had the sort of athletic, muscled frame that ages well.

And then, as she moved her phone from hand to hand, the pāreu that was all she had on above the waist fell, and exposed her. I didn’t see it happen, but the faint squeak she let out drew my eye; it was uncharacteristically girlish compared to her phone voice.

I missed seeing much of her, catching only the side of her breast as she covered back up; but clearly the local man sitting nearbye with his ʻukulele did not, for i heard him saying it’s ok, Lady, I don’t mind at all, in a casually good-natured way. She made some reply about living on the far side of the island, and that there, she was naked most of the time, and so didn’t care.

I decided i liked her. She reminded me of a woman i used to know, Karen; a woman I’d long had a crush on, though with whom I’d never gone beyond kissing and some drunken, naked groping in the hot tub. Like Karen, this stranger wasn’t particularly pretty, but had an earthy, hippy-woman beauty. The kind of woman who is at ease with her body, wears what fits and is comfortable, and who is far, far sexier than she’d ever imagine herself to be.

I was on my back, arms stretched back behind my head, my old, sun-and-salt stained boonie hat tilted forward to shade my eyes. I carefully maintained the look of someone sleeping, my eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses. And I watched her, and thought about what she would look like the rest of the way naked, should one see more than tanned back and the side of one accidently exposed breast.

She finished her phone call, and then stood up and looked around; she looked at me, and, i assume, figured me to be asleep. I’m an inveterate girl-watcher, and though i tend to practice the notion that when I’m looking at a pretty girl, she should know she’s being looked at (i.e. i nod and smile when caught looking), i’m also pretty good at the corner-of-the-eye method, looking while seeming not to.

She stood, turned side-on to me, and picked up a t-shirt (an over-sized red tank, roughly cut to bare the midriff), and dropped her pāreu.

Her breast, the one I could see, was lovely; almost as tan as the rest of her. I imagine they were fine and high when she was twenty, because now, at fifty, they retained a beautiful shape, yet with a natural sag that is so much prettier than most surgically enhanced breasts.

Her nipples were like little cocoa-covered truffles; chocolate brown, big as gumdrops. My mouth watered as I lay on the coarse sand, and i asked her, silently, to turn more and give me a front view.

She didn’t; she pulled on her shirt, and then turned the rest of the way toward me (or rather, toward the ocean, since she had already dismissed my existence). She took up the pāreu, pulled it loosely ’round her hips, and tied it in front; this covered her bikini bottoms from the rear, but in front, only a slip of fabric covered her.

She picked up a pair of surfer-style board shorts, old and worn and faded like her pāreu, and then casually pushed down her bikini-bottoms, stepping quickly and efficiently out of them and into her shorts, then straightening, pulling them up just slowly enough to let me see her shaved-bare pussy, just glimpse enough to fill my mind with an image that will stay a while.

And then her shorts were buttoned over her tanned belly, and she turned and waked away; and I wanted to follow her, and… And what? Thank her? Ask her out? Tell her what I was now imagining, where I wanted to put my mouth? Tell her how much I wanted to taste her now while she was still sea-salty and beach-sandy?

Maybe I should have. Maybe this would have made her day, knowing she made mine; maybe she would have gone home and slipped a finger between those smooth lips the way I wanted to, and thought about the sunburned, tattooed tourist who said sweet or dirty things to her on the road between sea and parking lot. Or maybe she just would have driven home smiling.

I didn’t though; I didn’t get up; though I did roll over, to hide the reaction my own body had to her. And I thought those thoughts and half wished I’d gotten up; and half was glad I hadn’t.

not quite island time

Well, i didn’t wind up in a broken-off tail section, though i am on a vaguely mysterious island. More tales of my trip to come (for it is too hot to sit over my computer for very long). But so far, i’ve been diving, i’ve made fresh ahi poke, i’ve had a waittress at the […]

Well, i didn’t wind up in a broken-off tail section, though i am on a vaguely mysterious island. More tales of my trip to come (for it is too hot to sit over my computer for very long).

But so far, i’ve been diving, i’ve made fresh ahi poke, i’ve had a waittress at the hard rock cafe partially disrobe to show me her tattoos, i’ve seen a weasel (ok, a mongoose, but weasel is funnier) tend to it’s, ah, personal hygene needs, and I’ve found my condo has a minimal wireless signal.

So this ain’t bad. And I’m not even quite on island time yet, which is to say, i still retain some sense of urgency. That should be gone in another day, about the same time I go to stock the condo on rum, vodka and sake.

Islandward

Well, if i ain’t packed it it ain’t going. Since I’m leaving at the crack of way-too-fucking-early, there’s none of my usual last-minute chick-minus-head running about. Next stop, Kailua Kona (via LAX). I plan to blog as i go but actual updates depend on where i find ‘net access. Updates, then, whenever.

Well, if i ain’t packed it it ain’t going. Since I’m leaving at the crack of way-too-fucking-early, there’s none of my usual last-minute chick-minus-head running about.

Next stop, Kailua Kona (via LAX).

I plan to blog as i go but actual updates depend on where i find ‘net access. Updates, then, whenever.

Flight 816

Whump That was the sound of me collapsing at the end of my week. As of now i’m on vacation, until December first. I’m not actually gone yet – that’s still (as of now) about 78 hours away. But mentally i’m already high above the pacific, thinking about hula girls and slack-key guitar, and hoping […]

Whump

That was the sound of me collapsing at the end of my week. As of now i’m on vacation, until December first.

I’m not actually gone yet – that’s still (as of now) about 78 hours away. But mentally i’m already high above the pacific, thinking about hula girls and slack-key guitar, and hoping my flight (Oceanic Air flight number 816) doesn’t find itself a little off course.

This is about a mile from my condo; the dock on the right is in front of the King Kam hotel, and it’s where the dive boat i favored used to go out (though they’ve moved north to the small boat harbor, and they’ve also sold, so i dunno if i’ll still use ’em).

Keep an eye on that web cam, you just might see me. But not, you know, doing a show. You have to go look for Merrick for that action.

It’s been a long and emotionally complicated week, and that ain’t over. My mother still needs at least five days of care in the three days I have left, my mother in law’s computer woes got worse (woise? Woes got Woise? Something like that), in that her computer went from needing a new drive to needing a new entire computer, which of course won’t get here til’ I’m gone so now I have to find her someone to set up her new mac.

And there’s other shit complicating my life, small and large, but fuck it, I’m on vacation. That is going away for the next three weeks. Meanwhile, hula girls, bikini girls, girls in wetsuits (god you know i love girls in wetsuits), and a lot of not thinking. Though if i’m lucky, some writing, and if you-all are non-lucky, there will be blogging.

Vacation. I’ve forgotten what that feels like.

v-minus

I’m incredibly wired. If you’ve met me you know this isn’t unusual. But I mean, I’m incredibly wired even FOR ME. It’s just sunk in that i have one week before vacation, and at least three weeks worth of things to do; mom to take care of (my mother’s having some health issues and is […]

I’m incredibly wired.

If you’ve met me you know this isn’t unusual. But I mean, I’m incredibly wired even FOR ME.

It’s just sunk in that i have one week before vacation, and at least three weeks worth of things to do; mom to take care of (my mother’s having some health issues and is needing a little help but mostly a whole lot of emotional support, and being the only surviving relative it’s been me and only me for a couple months now); work, which means all the things no one else (literally, no one else in the whole company, i’m one of THOSE people) knows how to do have to be written down in my wiki so that people have a chance of being able to get through a week without calling me. I have to gather up my scuba gear – unused for two fucking years if you can belive that, i havn’t been underwater since fiji in August of ’04 – and make sure everything’s working, replace what needs replacing. I have to pack that up (more gear than it used to be, now that my daughter’s diving), i have to take care of my in-laws computer melt-down (which, typically, happens at the worst possible time).

And of course i have that time-compression moment where the mental list of things to do feels bigger than it really is, and the time feels less, in inverse proportion.

What this all does it put me in a near-fugue state where I’m vibrating so fast I’m still; i can’t get anything done for task switching. I’m about to split in two and fire off in different directions.

One more week i keep thinking. Soon that will be good. Right now I just feel the stress and can’t see past it.

It’s been two years since i’ve had a real vacation; and in a lot of ways that two years seems like a lifetime, fire and destruction and re-construction, and i can barely remember a time when I was able to take off twice a year for stress-reducing tropical holidays. I took it for granted then; when i had all the vacation time i wanted, and the incredible luxury of dotcom money.

Now, i’m all too aware of my own luck in being able to travel at all, but today all i feel is – i just heard someone say ‘pinball’ as I was typing this and that’s how i feel, like the big ball-bearing in a pinball game, whack-whack-whack-whack-clunk-ping-thunk, lights flashing, and around in a circle I go.

One more. week. Sigh.

six point six X eight oh eight

Well, today I: 1) paid for my condo in kona, for a trip one month from today. 2) read the reports on a historically large earthquake in that same region. In that order. So you know, life remains interesting. More as I learn if this has any effect on me apart from possibly meaning it’ll […]

Well, today I:

1) paid for my condo in kona, for a trip one month from today.

2) read the reports on a historically large earthquake in that same region.

In that order.

So you know, life remains interesting. More as I learn if this has any effect on me apart from possibly meaning it’ll be easier than usual to get reservations at the best luaus.


Well, this isn’t sounding like it’s too terribly serious. Big pain in the ass for those who saw damage to their houses, and I’m sure, scary as hell, but unless i hear otherwise from the condo joint, i’m thinking all is well. Though I’m thinking a lot of silly people will now cancel plans for travel and crowds may be down.

How I Spent my Summer vacation

Here’s photographic evidence of how I spent my summer vacation. Sometimes you get the shark, and sometimes… …the shark gets you. (click that for a bigger view)

Here’s photographic evidence of how I spent my summer vacation.

Sometimes you get the shark, and sometimes…

Help Help Shark-2

…the shark gets you.

(click that for a bigger view)

flyin’ south

I had this idea I’d do some writing while I was alone, but it wound up as predicted; at work late every day, and then sapped of will when I got home. I started at least three blog entries, all of them now languishing. Ah. Such is life. Today i fly south to Los Angeles […]

I had this idea I’d do some writing while I was alone, but it wound up as predicted; at work late every day, and then sapped of will when I got home. I started at least three blog entries, all of them now languishing.

Ah. Such is life.

Today i fly south to Los Angeles to meet up with the family – my daughter’s birthday (dinner at House of Blues), and beyond that I don’t even know what our plans are. My only items of interest are stopping in at Sunset Tattoo (just because I’m staying near it), Musso and Frank for martinis, and beyond that, I don’t care. I imagine the kids will want to visit Olvero Street and the La Brea tar pits (because they always want to do those things), but I’m pretty much down with anything that doesn’t include work. Likely there’s also some plan to go celeb spotting in some night spot or other (Wait, I’ll bring my checklist).

Whatever – it’s the going I love. I need to find a job where I can travel and write for a living.

Returning, alas


Sunburnt and stiff from a long day driving, I’m home; yet, not wanting to face the realities of vacation’s end, of work and pressure and tasks that want doing, I live still far away, in sun and sand and sea.

I’ve unpacked my things, but can still smell the scent of travel on my skin. There’s still sand in my flip-flops.

I don’t want to be home, and facing life’s little insanities. Always, the trouble with vacations is that they end.

Family dis-union

It started out as a plan for a family reunion. This would be a good place I said, to do a family reunion. The ‘sometime‘ was implied. My in-laws (you may remember them from an earlier episode, in fact many, known collectively as in-law vs outlaw) have one of those family reunion traditions. Sometimes we […]

It started out as a plan for a family reunion.

This would be a good place I said, to do a family reunion. The ‘sometime‘ was implied.

My in-laws (you may remember them from an earlier episode, in fact many, known collectively as in-law vs outlaw) have one of those family reunion traditions. Sometimes we do these every couple years, sometimes not. And always, it’s a case of, who’s gonna plan it, who’s gonna say they’re coming, who’s gonna show up, who’s gonna pay for the ones who can’t afford it.

We’ve done ’em close – monterey, tahoe – or far, idaho, utah, oregon. And every time it’s a funny, silly drama, the kind you only get in families. Disorganization, mis-communication, flakiness. yet, always, we have a good time.

I don’t fit with these people – they come from mormon stock, though a lot of them are not mormon anymore. But if you watch Big Love, when they show you the LDS people, you could be looking at some of my more-distant mormon in-laws. They’re a straight-arrow bunch. And I’m – well, I’m the outlaw. The pirate. The biker. The counter-culture guy. They, truly, have no idea who I really am, unless some of them are reading this space.

Yet, they’re good folks. There are some crazies in the bunch, even if they’re non-drinking, never-gotten-stoned types. There are some who own guns, some who ride motorcycles. There’s a group who have a real taste for mayhem. Sober mayhem, but mayhem all the same.

But – ultimately – they’re family, and family means disorganization.

So a few months ago, we were at Disneyland, and staying at a nearby hotel, and I said, instead of the usual places, we should do the family reunion here, next year, a year after. Whenever, it’d be fun.

And I mentioned that in passing to my mother-in-law, who somehow converted that to now because that’s how she is.

Everyone said, yeah, we can do that, great, we’re in. There are a lot of big Disney geeks in teh family – some of ’em much bigger disney geeks than I am. So it was a no-brainer, they were fully into it. A date was picked, motel rooms booked. Everyone, even the arms of the family that usually drop out, said they were in, coming from Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Utah.

And you can see where this goes.

One by one, they dropped out, like a set of dominos. Oh, wait, we can’t do that week.

Until it was back down to pretty much just the LA locals (the lovely couple whose wedding I attended before my Fiji trip two years ago), my family, my in-laws.

But you know, we had the rooms booked, so it turned out to be a very small family re-union. And so, next week, I’ll be in sunny southern CA, getting sunburned in line for It’s a small world. Alas, Pirates is down for now – they’re adding Jack Sparrow to the ride, an idea I don’t like. But maybe this time I’ll get time to talk to Jack Rudy about a tattoo I want, and in any case, not working is always, always a good thing.