straight dope

A week or so ago i posted a meme for which I’d been tagged. Read that here. As I said, seven were true, one was not. Here you go: 1 (feet diff. sizes)- true. But at least they’re not both left feet. 3 (mysterious half sister) – true. I need to do an entry on […]

A week or so ago i posted a meme for which I’d been tagged.

Read that here.

As I said, seven were true, one was not.

Here you go:

1 (feet diff. sizes)- true. But at least they’re not both left feet.

3 (mysterious half sister) – true. I need to do an entry on this whole tale someday. Mom, it turns out, was what you might call a wayward girl.

4 (enormous bong) – true. I should post a picture of this massive contraption. It’s from when I worked at Tower, and I used to bring home all manner of drug paraphernalia. It’s almost all gone now, but for some reason I can’t part with this thing, it’s too bizarre.

5 (celebrity encounters) – true. Heather later introduced herself to me (“Hi, I’m Heather”), as if I didn’t know that already.

6 (teenage girl/catholic church) – true. This is the one that seemed to get all the votes. I was a teenage boy at the time so it wasn’t quite as colorful as it sounded. Neither one of us was a catholic, and nether one of us was dressed as a schoolgirl.

7 (high on stolen weed) – true. The ‘rents were big stoners for a while there.

8 (cat claw) – true. When I was a kid, the pet door was in my bedroom. The cat came tearing into the house one morning (no idea what was chasing her), and went directly across my bed and across my face, leaving scars you can still see next to my eye. She left a little hunk of claw embedded in the wound, and since I never went to the doctor about it, it healed over leaving a tiny souvenir.

and the lie:

2 (bridesmaid blowjob) – true, but not for me. I was at the bar drinking with the husband (actually he was the fiancé I now recall), while my buddy (a drummer) went out to his truck with said bridemaid. This woman two years later said to me “I don’t like the way you hug, it’s too intimate”, which sort of shows where she drew the line on ‘intimate’.

The only one who got this right was Bitchy; she already rocks, but now she, you know, rocks even more.

Good tries, the rest of you people.

That’s when I reach for my revolver

Once I had my heroes Once I had my dreams But all of that is changed now They’ve turned things inside out The truth is not so comfortable, no And mother taught us patience The virtues of restraint And father taught us boundaries Beyond which we must go To find the secrets promised us, yeah […]

Once I had my heroes
Once I had my dreams
But all of that is changed now
They’ve turned things inside out
The truth is not so comfortable, no
And mother taught us patience
The virtues of restraint
And father taught us boundaries
Beyond which we must go
To find the secrets promised us, yeah
That’s when I reach for my revolver
That’s when it all gets blown away
That’s when I reach for my revolver
The spirit fights to find its way
A friend of mine once told me
His one and only aim
To build a giant castle
And live inside his name
Cry and whispers sing in muted pain
That’s when I reach for my revolver
That’s when it all gets blown away
That’s when I reach for my revolver
The spirit fights to find its way
Tonight the sky is empty
But that is nothing new
Its dead eyes look upon us
And they tell us we’re nothing but slaves
That’s when I reach for my revolver

My Revolver, Mission of Burma – play it.