Keith’s Skull

elvis12 Comments

I’m sure we’re all very concerned that Keith Richards recently fell out of a palm tree in fiji and had to be airlifted to new zealand (I guess he needed to get to Rivendell for some of that elf healing). And we’re even more concerned that he just had holes drilled in his head to […]

I’m sure we’re all very concerned that Keith Richards recently fell out of a palm tree in fiji and had to be airlifted to new zealand (I guess he needed to get to Rivendell for some of that elf healing).

And we’re even more concerned that he just had holes drilled in his head to relieve pressure, or, you know, let the bad spirits out.

But you know, at least we have this really cool picture that shows Keith’s skull ring (click for a better view, if you dare).

Keith Richards

‘Cause you know, that’s the part I care about.

Tragic, Doomed Heros

elvis8 Comments

This is a really dumb quiz. But I happened to find it while I was looking up something about Sin City. I came up Marv, but I also scored high as Dwight, and as Manute, and, somehow, as That Yellow Bastard. The fact that I’d like to whip jessica alba may have caused that last […]

This is a really dumb quiz. But I happened to find it while I was looking up something about Sin City.

I came up Marv, but I also scored high as Dwight, and as Manute, and, somehow, as That Yellow Bastard. The fact that I’d like to whip jessica alba may have caused that last score to go up.

What Sin City Character are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

But forget the quiz. You tell Me.
Which Sin City character am I?

I was talking about the brilliant Sin City with a friend, and about the types of heros I am forever drawn to.

I was always a huge fan of heros when I was a kid; superheros, sword-wielding barbarians. Brave space captains. I was batman and captain kirk and rocket robin hood and flash gordon, wolverine and aragorn and tarzan of the apes, john carter of mars and dray prescott, lucky starr and conan and shang-shi.

Yet, also, I loved the anti-heros best. The rogues. One of the reasons batman and wolverine and robin hood spoke to me was that they were bad guys on the side of good; robbers and vigilantes and killers, yet, with a moral code.

And then there’s the tragic, pointless quest. Bilbo and Sam facing the gates of mordor, knowing their mission isn’t really to destroy the ring, for that cannot happen against these odds. Their quest is to die trying. All is hopeless, yet I give up not my hope, I will fight and die for my quest. I will die – but I will not give up.

These things speak to me, and that’s one of the reasons I so love both Miller’s original Sin City, and Rodriguez’ brilliant film version. Because those are the characters who populate this world. Violent, angry, driven men, men who are damaged in one way or another. Men who feel doom weigh upon them, who know they’re dead, and strive only to complete the mission before it’s all over.

Miller’s heros court doom. They love, and desire, and protect. They kill brutally and without remorse, yet they stand between absolute disaster and who or whatever they choose to protect.

These men live short lives in an angry, violent, beautiful world. These are the characters I see in my head; these are the people I feel driven to write. Speaking to said friend, she knew, as only one other friend know, how I felt watching sin city.

To paraphrase, “When you saw this film for the first time, you must have felt as though someone had taken your brain and soul and put then on the screen.“. And so I did; this is what I want to write I said, when I was watching the first scene, the assassin and the beautiful woman in the rain.

This is who lives in my head, I thought, when Marv said:

‘She smells like angels ought to smell, the perfect woman… the Goddess‘,

Aand I thought it when Dwight said:

‘My warrior woman. My Valkyrie. You’ll always be mine, always and never. Never. The Fire, baby. It’ll burn us both. It’ll kill us both. there’s no place in this world for our kind of fire. Always and never. If I have to die for you tonight, I will.‘

These people speak the way I feel.

This is how I want to be described, I thought, when Dwight says of Marv, ‘He just had the rotten luck of being born in the wrong century. He’d be right at home on some ancient battlefield swinging an axe into somebody’s face. Or in a Roman arena, taking his sword to other gladiators like him. They woulda tossed him girls like Nancy back then. ‘

Doom. Tragedy. Violence. Love and lust and desire. These characters are stripped down to the raw essence of these things; they will burn out brightly, tragically, and they will take you with them if you stand in the way. But they will save you if you need saving, no matter what the cost.

These are the people who live in my head; and I envy Frank Miller more than I can say, for he too carries these people in his head, but he has a way to let them out.

As yet, I do not. Not in action, not in word. I cannot be them, and i cannot write them. Not yet.

Not yet.

it’s not the large things that send a man to the madhouse

elvis7 Comments

the shoelace
by Charles Bukowski.

a woman, a
tire that’s flat, a
disease, a
desire: fears in front of you,
fears that hold so still
you can study them
like pieces on a
chessboard…

it’s not the large things that
send a man to the
madhouse. death he’s ready for, or
murder, incest, robbery, fire, flood…
no, it’s the continuing series of small tragedies
that send a man to the
madhouse…

not the death of his love
but a shoelace that snaps
with no time left …

The dread of life
is that swarm of trivialities
that can kill quicker than cancer
and which are always there –
licence plates or taxes
or expired driver’s license,
or hiring or firing,
doing it or having it done to you, or
roaches or flies or a
broken hook on a
screen, or out of gas
or too much gas,
the sink’s stopped-up, the landlord’s drunk,
the president doesn’t care and the governor’s
crazy.

lightswitch broken, mattress like a
porcupine;
$105 for a tune-up, carburetor and fuel pump at
sears roebuck;
and the phone bill’s up and the, market’s
down
and the toilet chain is
broken,
and the light has burned out –
the hall light, the front light, the back light,
the inner light; it’s
darker than hell
and twice as
expensive.

then there’s always crabs and ingrown toenails
and people who insist they’re
your friends;
there’s always that and worse;
leaky faucet, christ and christmas;
blue salami, 9 day rains,
50 cent avocados
and purple
liverwurst.

or making it
as a waitress at norm’s on the split shift,
or as an emptier of
bedpans,
or as a carwash or a busboy
or a stealer of old lady’s purses
leaving them screaming on the sidewalks
with broken arms at the age of 80.

suddenly
2 red lights in your rear view mirror
and blood in your
underwear;
toothache, and $979 for a bridge
$300 for a gold
tooth,
and china and russia and america, and
long hair and short hair and no
hair, and beards and no
faces, and plenty of zigzag but no
pot, except maybe one to piss in
and the other one around your
gut.

with each broken shoelace
out of one hundred broken shoelaces,
one man, one woman, one
thing
enters a
madhouse.

so be careful
when you
bend over.

Rent Bukowski, Born into this. Or better yet, buy it.

Ow.

elvis13 Comments

God dammit. I was just opening my new Utilikilt – the new black workman’s I bought after selling the Survival last month – and I did one of those stupid things. I keep my knives really really sharp. And I picked up the package and grabbed my gerber folder and slash. Only my aim was […]

God dammit. I was just opening my new Utilikilt – the new black workman’s I bought after selling the Survival last month – and I did one of those stupid things.

I keep my knives really really sharp. And I picked up the package and grabbed my gerber folder and slash. Only my aim was off and my finger happened to be right there.

And you know I slashed much much harder than I needed to. Taking out a little anger and frustration on the inanimate object, I guess, after a very disordered and frustrating day yesterday.

So I didn’t just cut my fingertip. I fuckin’ hacked it. Normally a super-sharp knife cut feels like almost nothing, but this felt like I’d just slammed my finger in a car door. And then it started bleeding.

I’m still soakin’ through bandaids. And typing without the use of my left index finger. Good thing blood and pain don’t bother me.

Memesday Morning

elvis3 Comments

When you can’t really write you post song lyrics, or you do memes and quizzes. From Hiromi, who snagged it from El Diablo: 9 lasts 1. last place you were: (wow, that’s a vague question, I’ll treat it as a travel question): Southern CA. 2. last soda: Probably mountain dew but god knows how long […]

When you can’t really write you post song lyrics, or you do memes and quizzes.

From Hiromi, who snagged it from El Diablo:

9 lasts
1. last place you were: (wow, that’s a vague question, I’ll treat it as a travel question): Southern CA.
2. last soda: Probably mountain dew but god knows how long ago. I don’t really like soda. Though I do like jack and coke or cuba libras.
3. last kiss: too fucking long ago.
4. last movie seen: Bukowski: Born into This, which was brilliant.
5. last CD you listened to: Disney Bossa Nova. Pretty fucking close to brilliant, if you’re a disney fan and/or a bossa nova fan (I’m both).
6. last bubble bath: Alone? Um. Decades.
7. last time you cried: I never cry. Ever. Really.
8. last alcoholic beverage: A tasty chardonnay that I wish I’d written down the name of. It went well with Resident Evil.
9. have you ever gotten drunk and thrown up: Pretty much all of my twenties was spent drunk, though remarkably little actual thrwoing up. That I can remember, anyway. It’s been a long long set of years since the last time though.

8 “Have you evers”
1. have you ever dated someone twice: yes, i guess you could say that.
2. have you ever been cheated on: define ‘cheat’.
3. have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: I never regret a kiss
4. have you ever fallen in love: all too often
5. have you ever been depressed: i used to think i never got depressed. Now, I wait for the day I’m not.
6. have you ever hit another person: Yes. Not often enough though. My life is filled with those who deserve it who I let slide.
7. have you ever skinny dipped: I own a hot tub. So, you know, yeah, lots.

7 states you’ve been to:
HI, OR, TX, WA, FL, DC, ID, IA, LA, MT, UT, WY, MD, VA, IL. That’s more than seven but I can never stop.

6 things you’ve done today.
1) Made coffee
2) Been called a twisted old fuck
3) Written up a stupid meme
4) driven kids to school
5) thought ‘*sigh*’
6) considered not going to work

But it’s only 9am am.

5 favorite things in no particular order (i’m going utterly random here)
the smell of a woman’s sweat
my tony creed skull ring
the feeling of being deep under water at night, with the lights out. Utter, complete peace.
hot, strong coffee
A woman’s face when she comes – to quote a stupid teevee show, when you’ve seen a woman’s come face, you’ve seen her soul.

4 favorite colors
I don’t really do favorite colors, which drives my kids crazy since they like to think of people as being somehow defined by their favorites; as they say in High Fidelity, “It’s not what you are like, it’s what you like that matters”

But if I have to pick:
1) Olive drab (The color people so often call khaki, but it’s Not Fucking Khaki, it’s OD. Khaki is *tan*).
2) British Racing Green (this is the color of my motorcycle, one of the reasons I love t his motorcycle).
3) Gray – one of the predominant colors in my wardrobe.
4) Purple.

3 people you can tell anything to.
There are tiers of this. There’s true anything, deepest-darkest, then there’s the ‘trust them with my life’, then there’s ‘know me really well’. I’m not gonna detail who lives in each tier, by Brutha Ray is on the list of three if I have to pick just three. One of the crazy people who help me stay sane, and I hope I’m that back for him.

2 things you want to do before you die:
Only two? Two at random then:
1) Write a novel
2) Publish something.

1 thing you regret:
Only one?
My regrets live deep in my soul. They turn a knife in my gut. They are few, the things I truly regret, but they are wounds that won’t heal.

And of course no tags. Steal or Don’t.

Spring Fever

elvis1 Comment

ok, so it’s way too nice suddenly in sunny northern california to be inside or anywhere near a computer. I want to take the top off my jeep and just go, beach, mountains, whatever. Just out-fucking-side. Damn work. I don’t wanna be anywhere near computers…

ok, so it’s way too nice suddenly in sunny northern california to be inside or anywhere near a computer. I want to take the top off my jeep and just go, beach, mountains, whatever. Just out-fucking-side.

Damn work.

I don’t wanna be anywhere near computers…

skunked sex?

elvis2 Comments

Suddenly I’m getting dozens of hits from people googling skunked sex. I don’t even know what that means. But somehow I’m getting hits. (scratches head. shrugs.) I like it better when I get hits on daddy fuck me really hard, but I’ll take what I can get.

Suddenly I’m getting dozens of hits from people googling skunked sex.

I don’t even know what that means. But somehow I’m getting hits.

(scratches head. shrugs.)

I like it better when I get hits on daddy fuck me really hard, but I’ll take what I can get.

Big Sports Weekends

elvis7 Comments

This is where a different geek-side (Geekseid?) shows. This is where I go all sports geek. This weekend is the NFL draft. And I hate to admit how much I care. I’ve been known to watch at least part of the first round on teevee, and I always track progress throughout the draft weekend. I […]

This is where a different geek-side (Geekseid?) shows. This is where I go all sports geek.

This weekend is the NFL draft. And I hate to admit how much I care. I’ve been known to watch at least part of the first round on teevee, and I always track progress throughout the draft weekend.

I care who my teams (49ers, raiders, pittsburgh) take, I care who my friends teams take (miami, philly). I care who gets taken by rival teams (seattle, st louis).

I care who gets taken first, who falls in the rankings. I care about the last minute trades to jockey for position.

My team, the 49ers, have made a lot of bone-head draft moves in the last few years. Jim Drukenmiller chosen over Jake the Snake Plummer stands out as a particularly stupid one, but I look at our number one and two drafts – Mike Rumph, Kwame Harris, Israel Ifeanyi, J.J. Stokes, Reggie McGrew, Justin Smiley – and I don’t see a lotta spectatular talent. Our last year’s top pick, the highly paid Alex Smith, has yet to prove out and actually do a damned thing and to my mind he’s got expensive failure written all over him.

So the draft is, to me, both exciting and scary. I watch my team draft the way to watch a train wreck.

Then there’s Hockey. The sharks are up 3-1 vs Nashville in the first round of the stanley cup playoffs. They played a hard, thrilling game thursday, a physical game that they won, but didn’t dominate. They play in Nashville tomorrow (Sunday), and can put this to bed; or they can choke, and be back in San Jose next week. My boss has tickets to that next round, so I think he’s hoping for a choke, but I’d like to see this series over. This sharks team has the players to think Stanley Cup, but they have to play a lotta good hockey between now and then to have that happen.

I’m thinking about taking the top off my jeep. But you know what that means, every year. It means more rain. So, you know, maybe not quite yet.

Bay Area Essentials

elvis4 Comments

Evidently the iTunes Music Store has released a playlist of what they call Bay Area Essentials. But the people at SFGate (Joel Selvin and Aidin Vaziri) don’t agree with this list. What do you think?

Evidently the iTunes Music Store has released a playlist of what they call Bay Area Essentials.

But the people at SFGate (Joel Selvin and Aidin Vaziri) don’t agree with this list.

What do you think?

Read more “Bay Area Essentials”