Mouseward

I’m leaving on a very short trip to southern california – getting on a plane in about two hours. I wish I had time for a real vacation, with time spent sipping cocktails by a pool, and energetically doing nothing. But this isn’t that kinda trip; i’ve got two and a half days to hit […]

I’m leaving on a very short trip to southern california – getting on a plane in about two hours. I wish I had time for a real vacation, with time spent sipping cocktails by a pool, and energetically doing nothing. But this isn’t that kinda trip; i’ve got two and a half days to hit d-land and possibly a few other sites in and around anaheim (though I’m sure, as usual, I won’t have time to go get tattooed by jack rudy; that always happens).

It’s the kind of trip where one has fun, but never had time for downtime which what I need most right now. That has to wait a bit, however, and it’s virtaully impossible to be unhappy at Disneyland.

I fly back saturday afternoon, so at least I have a day of peace and quiet after the trip. I’ll need it.

kitten heels

I stopped my truck to let her cross. She’d emerged from from a shiny, modern auto, and was headed for starbucks, or jamba juice, one of those corporate purveyors of sweet-soulless beverages. I generally let people cross in parking lots; it’s one of those general rules of courtesy I try to follow, all the more […]

I stopped my truck to let her cross.

She’d emerged from from a shiny, modern auto, and was headed for starbucks, or jamba juice, one of those corporate purveyors of sweet-soulless beverages.

I generally let people cross in parking lots; it’s one of those general rules of courtesy I try to follow, all the more because I drive a big vehicle, and because I have a somewhat threatening demeanor. So I go out of my way to make shows of public courtesy (one might say I was lulling people into a sense of false security, and one would not be entirely wrong).

But in this case, the act wasn’t one of courtesy, so much as it was one of – words fail me here, mesmerizement?

She was attractive; lovely, possibly. I can’t really say for sure. Thirtyish, or fourtyish, or more, or even less. The details melt away. Her hair was pixie-short, stylishly so. Expensively colored some wine-dark tone.

She smiled at me when I stopped my huge truck and waved her on, go ahead, you have the right of way. Her makeup was tasteful, lips some strong color I can’t recall, which didn’t particularly compliment or clash with her hair. Nice, but not striking.

But it was her clothing that left me overwhelmed.

She wore a skirt in an orange one rarely sees in clothing; an orange made for hot-rods from the seventies, for vintage british amplifiers. For plastic furniture or sports uniforms or or the inside of lava lamps. It wasn’t demurely orange, elegantly orange; it wasn’t naturally orange, the orange of fruit or blossoms. It was brazenly orange, aggressively orange. It shouted, screamed the color – Orange!

The skirt was longish, to the calf, in some swingy, flowing fabric. It was the sort of skirt my female friends will know the name for, the cut, the length, the fabric. But it was well made, and moved about her legs as she walked, flashing only a bit of calf, and flattering what wasn’t a remarkable walk.

Her shoes were like some minimalist craft; sleek and low, like cigarette boats or the sort of cars that sit so low you can’t see them from your SUV window at a stop. Barely a shoe at all; low and flat, with a slightest band across the ball of her feet, her toes peeking out. The heels were low, with angular, sharply tapered heels. They’re what I think are called a ‘kitten heel’, which I recall only because the word ‘kitten’ has so much sexual resonance for me when applied to a woman.

They’re shoes I’d never have noticed, but that they matched her skirt. They were blindingly, brilliantly, attention-grabbingly orange. Tiny, thin, barely there; yet the image if the elegantly tapered heel has attached itself to my mind’s eye. Her feet were hypnotic.

And there was her jacket; and this is where all hell breaks loose.

Imagine if you will: Drop acid with Emanuel Ungaro and Peter Max, and they spend the night watching Yellow Submarine, making love, and designing ladies jackets. Imagine a color palate featuring this mind-bending, eyeball-saturating orange, and mate it with contrasting hues in similar intensity. Imagine the yellow, the green, the pink that would go with this, and take your mental paintbrush and swirl it into a carefully planned psychedelic salmagundi.

You are short of this jacket; you have made a valiant attempt, but you fail. It is more; brighter; wilder. It is a garment made from madness and pop-art; or one might simple say, it was very bright.

And I sat in my truck, willing my eyes to close, to allow myself a moment to recover. And I thought, where is she going?

Because my town, it is not the sort of place where Peter Max and Ungaro give birth to a psychedelic love-child in dupioni; it is not the sort of place where a woman goes causally down to Starbucks in a swirl of brilliant orange skirts and matching kitten-heeled mules. It is not a town where elegant ladies wear amazing technicolor dream coats.

This woman, in fact looked like she might have stepped out of the world’s most elegant circus. I wondered, as she vanished in my rear-view mirror, if she were the office manager for cirque du couture. My mind filled with a vision of designer clown cars disengorging an elegantly clad and near-eternal stream of perfectly-coiffed clowns, not slapping about in huge, boat-like shoes but instead clicking along in dolce & gabbana. Ringmasters in chanel, jugglers in gautier, tightrope-walkers and acrobats in lagerfeld and st. laurent.

Was she the den mother for the cubscout be-in? Was she the here with a gypsy caravan? Was she a member of some mind-warping cult, a designer-dressed pied piper, ready to lure our vogue-reading rats and children off to some pleasure island of tropical-candy-colord joy and sin?

Who was she and what was she doing in my town? And did she, I wonder now, know what she was doing? Or was this some horrible accident of taste that brought her out, perfectly, elegantly dressed in something where the word taste becomes abstractly meaningless. Did she not even know?

And I am left to wonder; what did her blouse look like, for I never even saw it. And what – my mind going there because it has to – did she on have under that sun-bright skirt? Nothing, I want to think, but i know that’s wrong. But i wish – hope – that she had the tiniest thong, covering a perfectly, lovingly waxed pussy; a delicate thread of brightest orange or acid green or hot, tropic pink elegantly cleaving a perfect bottom. I want the part I couldn’t see to be as outrageously, loudly perfect as the rest.

I will never know; but let’s all assume I’m right.

prog-by-numbers

Wow, what a resource. I just found progressiverock.com; a massive timeline of Prog, from 1967’s proto-prog Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, all the way through Pink Floyd’s bloated radio-rock opus The Wall, featuring reviews of pretty much every major prog-rock and krautrock album in between. There are reviews of major works – The Yes […]

Wow, what a resource.

I just found progressiverock.com; a massive timeline of Prog, from 1967’s proto-prog Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, all the way through Pink Floyd’s bloated radio-rock opus The Wall, featuring reviews of pretty much every major prog-rock and krautrock album in between.

There are reviews of major works – The Yes Album, Thick As A Brick, Brain Salad Surgery, Trick of the Tail; but also of minor but important acts like Jade Warrior, Premiata Forneria Marconi, Camel, Gentle Giant, etc.

This is a work of major geekery, arranged in cronological order. And importantly, while the dude who wrote all this is a fan-boy, he generally gets it, nailing both why the particularly great albums work, and why the over-rated ones (like The Wall) are not all they’re cracked up to be.

It’s an impressive piece of work; and for stoner prog-heads like me, it’s like a personal, bong-hit-and-black-light history of my teenage years.

Wow, man.

spamattack!

comment spammers have brought my (brandon’s) server to it’s knees. If you can’t comment that’s why. Sorry about that folks; we’re working on it. I dunno if we finally did the right thing or if the spammers just gave up and ran, but this finally calmed down. I do NOT get what they think they’re […]

comment spammers have brought my (brandon’s) server to it’s knees. If you can’t comment that’s why. Sorry about that folks; we’re working on it.


I dunno if we finally did the right thing or if the spammers just gave up and ran, but this finally calmed down.

I do NOT get what they think they’re achiving. We all have nofollows on our links and most of us restrict who can post, so they’re spending cycles attacking the world, spending effort (and often using illegal resources).

And for what? To annoy us so mch we eventually find a way to cut them off. Unless they’re in the business of selling more security software and hardware, they’re not getting dick from this.

So it’s hard not to see it as malice, you know? Malice or stupidity. I’ll admit stupidity is the easy answer, but malice is just somehow more satisfying.

This caps a day where I struggled all morning to over-come a hangover and to write; the hangover I beat, the writing though, I never did, instead spending my day moderating domestic mayhem and cooking all afternoon. I shopped, did laundry, and while ideas floated through the back of my skull, they never stuck long enough to get down on paper or keyboard.

At least my kitchen smells of fresh turkey stock, which tomorrow should become asparagus soup, or possible tortilla soup; and I finished the day with little tequila while Papa Christo played guitar in my living room.

Days that end peafully are a good thing. I need them on almost all days ending in ‘y’.

You look like you been losin’ sleep

I posted that Swervedriver song the other day which made me go listen to Mezcal Head. And I’m reminded what a fucking brilliant album this is. Here then is the one I can’t get outta my head, just cause I can’t get it outta my head: Last Train to Satansville.

I posted that Swervedriver song the other day which made me go listen to Mezcal Head. And I’m reminded what a fucking brilliant album this is.

Here then is the one I can’t get outta my head, just cause I can’t get it outta my head: Last Train to Satansville. Images

Motörhead Girl

I looked over my lunch date’s shoulder, as we ate garlic-and-chili tofu and rice. I can’t even say exactly why the girl in the corner of the restaurant distracted me so much; or maybe it’s as simple as what she was wearing. She was blond; long, wavy hair. My best guess puts in her late […]

I looked over my lunch date’s shoulder, as we ate garlic-and-chili tofu and rice.

I can’t even say exactly why the girl in the corner of the restaurant distracted me so much; or maybe it’s as simple as what she was wearing.

She was blond; long, wavy hair. My best guess puts in her late twenties, though early or mid thirties might not be far off. She had a pretty, round face, and a figure you might call lush, or less flatteringly, round or plump. She had that pretty, shy look, like she had no idea how good looking she was.

She was wearing a Motörhead tee-shirt; I noticed this second, after I noticed that she was pretty. I have the exact same shirt.

I was looking at her over my lunch date’s shoulder; she looked up, looked away, down at her menu, then looked back at me. She blushed, I think, her pale cheeks coloring just slightly.

Maybe she knew me from work; I don’t know. When I later walked out, I caught a glimpse of a work id at her belt. Or maybe she just liked me looking at her, or in her insecurity, wondered why I might stare.

She was eating with two men, one asian, one not; both geeks. I could imagine them discussing gaming, or operating systems, or which Rush album was best. Co-workers, not boyfriends; Body language made that clear. She was one of the boys. I had an eye on her, without seeming to stare, all through lunch.

Later, when I walked out, I looked at her from another angle. She was in jeans, a little too small for her but in a good way. I wanted to see her standing, walking. I wanted to see her ass.

The t-shirt had ridden up slightly. She wasn’t wearing it that way in purpose; I’ll bet she feels too fat. A soft curve of skin showed between the top of her jeans and the bottom of her tee-shirt, creamy-pale against indigo denim and jet black shirt.

I imagined the feel of her skin, soft against my palm. The contrast of rough denim and soft, soft hip. Pictured stepping close behind her, one hand there, fingers inside the waist of her jeans; one in her hair, pulling her head back against my shoulder, turning her face to kiss me.

“You are getting into my head,” I wish I could tell her. From across the room; your face, your hair, your cool, rock-n-roll tee-shirt. Because when you reach across a room full of strangers and grab someone’s attention, get in someone’s head, you should know about it.

Motörhead girl, I want to kiss you.

girl on a motorbike

I sat at a light, and watched a girl on a motorbike.

The bike was yellow; the girl was in leather, jeans. Her booted feet looked like a child’s, tiny black leather boots.

She passed me in an intersection as I waited for green, and then I tried to catch her; in my huge gray truck, it was hopeless. But I tried, ran a light to stay with her, passed my stop.

Her helmet was decorated, neck to crown, in sparkling stickers, whorls and flourish and little stick-on gems. It was a helmet a little girl would imagine on a princess, should a princess ride a motorbike; perfect and elegant, yet child-like.

I lost her at the next light, carving between cars on her fleet little yamaha; her black braid trailing behind her in the wind. I never got a look at even the sliver of face a motorcycle helmet would show, only a pair of mirrored shades, no more.

I turned my truck around, a great tire-screeching arc, and went back to my errand.

This is the song I dialed on my iPod as I drove away.

 

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Your First Tattoo

I was talking to a friend recently about tattoos (ok, so, this could describe about a full quarter of the conversations have on a daily basis but nevermind).

This is one of those conversations you get in regularly if you’re heavily tattooed and in any way expert.

“I want to get a tattoo, can you tell me were to go.”

This is different than who did that tattoo or where did you get that tattoo; that question comes from two groups. One, those who are looking and know enough to know good work and to inquire as to it’s origin, and two, those who feel the need to comment and don’t know what to say. That second group, i can say 222 tattoo, san francisco, or I can say, san francisco or I can say katmandu and it won’t make any difference. They stare at me blankly either way.

But those are not the conversations I’m talking about. I mean the ones where someone who’s never been tattooed asks for help or advice. This is always a difficult conversation. Because tattooing is so completely personal.

Thus, here’s some general advice for those who want to get a tattoo and have no idea where to start.

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Angry Atheists

Stolen from the lovely and talented OG, because it’s about time for a Really Stupid Quiz: You scored as Angry Atheist. Whoah! Down boy! It’s time to let go of the belligerence and let someone else talk for a while. Even if the religious don’t make must sense, you should probably observe the unspoken rules […]

Stolen from the lovely and talented OG, because it’s about time for a Really Stupid Quiz:

You scored as Angry Atheist. Whoah! Down boy! It’s time to let go of the belligerence and let someone else talk for a while. Even if the religious don’t make must sense, you should probably observe the unspoken rules for human interaction and not yell directly into their faces.

Angry Atheist

83%

Scientific Atheist

67%

Spiritual Atheist

58%

Apathetic Atheist

50%

Militant Atheist

50%

Agnostic

42%

Theist

8%

What kind of atheist are you?
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