I’d HIt That – thoughts on the VEEP candidates

I haven’t really commnented much on the presidential election. It’s not that I’m apolitcal. On the contrary, I care a great deal. It’s more than i’m so cynical about it, I have a hard time not loathing everyone and everything involved. In short, i think desire to be an elected official should disqualify people from […]

I haven’t really commnented much on the presidential election.

It’s not that I’m apolitcal. On the contrary, I care a great deal. It’s more than i’m so cynical about it, I have a hard time not loathing everyone and everything involved.

In short, i think desire to be an elected official should disqualify people from holding such positions.

The other thing that troubles me hugely is the role religion plays in this country’s politics. This isn’t how the founding fathers envisioned this country (do a little research; most of those guys were atheists, or close to it). America is headed backwards and picking up speed in terms of reverence for religion. That, frankly, is the biggest problem I have with Obama; otherwise, he seems a sound and compatant choice. He’s a smart guy, and seems to have some resonably good ideas; more importantly, he strikes me as someone who’s going to stop and ask questins when he’s on ground were he doesn’t know what to do.

The problem is, though, that religious people often include mythological beings in those queries, and worse, those who claim to speak for mythological beings. The last thing I want at the head of this country (or any country) is people who consult personal delusions and charlatans before making choices that effect my life.

IN short; religion has no place in government. Period.

That said, we’re still a religious country, and that’s not showing signs of being cured in the near future. So any vote is for least bad, not ever for good or best.

Now, i’m not getting into a debate on republican vs democrat. In short, they’re sides of the same coin, both telling lies and pretending to have evidence, while really both operating on purely philosophical grounds.

I side with the democrats for one reason; they’re not as far wrong as the other guys.

My own personal politics are closer to anarchist than anything else; I do not, fundamentally, believe in rules. IN some ways I’m closer to libertarian, but not to what passes for libertarian in american politics (because that version of libertarianism is really more-right-wing-than-right-wing, and has nothing to do with the core ideas of libertarianism as a philosophy).

So I vote for Democrats because they’re closer to my own politics than the other guys. But I vote for them while swallowing bile.

But that’s not really the whole point of my post. I really meant to open a dialog on the recentlly annouced VEEP choices.

Personally, I was ready to vote for Joe Biden in the primary.

When I looked at the field, I made a few quick choices. My thinking was, anyone here was a better choice than anyone on the GOP ticket – because of the influence of religion and far-right-wing thinking in today’s GOP. Anyone who wasn’t republican was ok with me, so we had one singular choice to make; who was most electable. I knocked off Hillary and Obama because – all else aside – I didn’t think the middle of the country was ready to vote minority or woman. So I felt we were handicapping our chances. I then ticked off anyone who was too far left, too far right, or boring.

I was left with Biden as a pick. He’s a hell of a speaker, knows how the process works, has a father-figure look I felt was going to fit well with an angry country. And he’s not afraid to go against the grain. Is he ideal? No. But he looked like the best of the pack to me. Alas, he dropped out before I ever gota chance to vote.

People have bagged on Obama for a ‘safe’ choice. But I think it’s insane to make any other kind. Obama needs to get elected; this isn’t about making a statement, depsite what people like to say. It’s about getting morons out of the white house. It’s about halting the erosions of freedom and economy the bush administration has caused. It’s about turning things around, socially and politically, after nearly a decade spent striving for a new cold war.

This isn’t about the first back man in office; this is about ending the carnage.

So Biden brings several things. First, he’s strong where Obama is weak. He’s experienced, he’s smooth, he’s got the experience of an insider with the attitude of a rebel. He’s someone you can see taking over in an emergency. Is he ideal? No. See above. He wanted to be president; he’s religious. My rules say he should be disqualified on those things alone. But we’re not geting a chance to vote for Richard Dawkins, so we have to select from what’s available. In my opinion, Biden is the best pick Obama could have made, both politically and in terms of leadership ability once they get there.

But how about McCain’s pick, Sarah Palin?

And I admit it; this is why I started this entry.

Have you ever in your life looked at a VP candidate and thought, sit on my lap and call me Daddy?

Miss Wasilla 1984.jpg

Ok, so I’m trying to think of her in political terms. I’m trying to look at her as the Ms President when McCain strokes out (which he’s going to do, you know it). And there’s a lot to hate; anti-abortion, pro-creationism, anti-gay-marriage. She’s pretty much right down the line wrong-headed right winger.

But all I can think of is, wouldn’t those lips look great wrapped around my cock, and I wonder how she’s look bent over my desk with her hands cuffed behind her back.

I’m puzzled, then, about what McCain was thinking. Did he just want to get into her panties? Because I get that. Or was he thinking the swing voters are all going to swing their dicks over this his way if he has a fuckable veep?

Was he thinking se’s going to attract the Hillary vote? Because she’s no Hillary. Hillary’s fans have two left feet and two left hands. And I don’t know that your average american woman wants to look at her president and say, wow, she’s hotter than I am.

I’m not sure he thought through how this Barbie Doll is going to play to voters. And I really am not convinced that a conservative fem-bot is what the country wants one heartbeat from the presidency. Obviously, I have a bias, but thinking as objectively as I can, I’m just not seeing this as a wise political choice.

But damn – wouldn’t she look nice all done up in leather?

EDIT: thanks to Wonkette for dubbing her GILF back in December 06, and my man Bacchus of ErosBlog for modding that to VPILF, which just rocks. AND! He says there are rumors of nekkid pictures of her floating around. We can only hope they surface, for both political and, um, personal reasons.

0 thoughts on “I’d HIt That – thoughts on the VEEP candidates”

  1. So I’m reading this and I look up and she’s on BBC news right now.

    Well not right now obviously as you’re reading this later.

    But THEN she was.

  2. Eh, Karl, I’m sorry, but this may be my least favorite post of yours ever. I’m not going to get into it because I suspect, as is normally the case when the type of perspective I’d put forward gets expressed, I’ll just be told by someone (or multiple someones) in the comments I’m too “humorless,” rather than actually engaging intelligently on the real issue. But this was kind of a drag for me to read. 🙁

  3. EXCELLENT entry. And I agree totally (well, maybe not totally; there’s not a single Republican that I’d EVER, um, ILF…).

    Obama’s pandering to religion is the thing that kills me. I have to keep trying to tell myself that he’s just lying, just going along, doing what he has to do to get elected, passing, in effect, as a true believer. I tell myself that he’s doing the same thing I do here as a substitute desperate for work, smiling and nodding and praising Jesus, while inside I’m screaming… At least I seriously hope that’s what he’s doing. His mother was an atheist, right? How fundamental-religious can he BE?

    Anyway, great post. I love it when you write about serious stuff. And you know that if you ever get into politics, or decide to, um, conquer the world, you have my support.

  4. I dunno, Circe. Our climate is so hostile to rational thought these days that (survey says) most politicians can’t get elected if they admit to atheist leanings. I read some stat about he percentage of self-proclaimed atheists in washington being vastly lower than the percentage in the general population.

    Polls repeatedly show that voters would rather trust the delusional than the skeptical. Which is troubling.

    So yeah, I’d like to get with you and say, maybe obama is dressing up in jesus drag to get the white house. But something about the ease with which ‘jesus’ rolls off his lips tells me he means it.

    There’s no way to vote the atheist ticket yet, though, so we have to choose our lesser evil.

    And make no mistake; while I joke about Ms Palin being a fucktoy, I think her politics are evil and stupid in the extreme.

  5. Oh wait… I didn’t read Dea’s comment until I’d already posted mine…

    I’m always interested in anything Dea says and if I were not currently so tired and despondent, I’d ask her to expand upon her sentiments… 🙂

  6. VPILF is hilarious. When I read that JM had picked this right-wing hottie as his side-kick I was pretty shocked and agree that maybe he didn’t think this thing through. Not that I’m complaining, I’m hoping very much it will be his undoing.

    But, if you’ve read at all about her tactics, I suspect that the Governor would be on the wielding side of the whip, my dear. She’s a Domme through and through.

    Eve

  7. c’mon now eve, you know sometimes boardroom dom means bedroom sub.

    But yeah, I agree with you.

    Can’t you just see her sissifying McMain with a strap on and a makeup kit though? “Suck mommies cock, little boy!”

  8. When I first heard his choice, my first thought was, jeezus what a desperate maneuver. Not only that, but it reeked of pandering. My second thought was that, at one stroke, he destroyed his most compelling argument against Obama, that he’s not experienced enough to be prez.

    But now I’m thinking that sure, it was desperate, but also a gamble that might pay off. Although he undercut his strongest argument, he also undercut his opposition’s strongest argument: that he’s nothing but more of the same and a creature of Washington. His #2 pick wasn’t afraid to take on the Republican establishment in her own state, and is definitely no Washington insider.

    And on the flip side of my opinion that McCain’s choice shows extraordinarily poor judgment and desperation is the notion that he can surprise and defy expectation. It’s up to the electorate as to how to interpret that, I guess.

    Was he thinking se’s going to attract the Hillary vote? Because she’s no Hillary. Hillary’s fans have two left feet and two left hands.

    Not all of her supporters were like that. She drew significant amounts of support from both working class men and women who, despite tending toward social conservatism, felt that Clinton understood their economic pain. You can bet that the ‘pubs will play up parts of Palin’s record that will appeal to that demographic. Of course, Obama has a record of helping underserved communities and that his proposed policies may actually help that demographic whereas McCain’s will not. But does the public give a shit?

    Obama does have this remote air. He’s also extraordinarily gifted and intelligent. I don’t think many people are comfortable with those qualities; they can be read as hauteur, or “elitism.” Palin lends earthiness and relatability to the McCain ticket. It’s not certain that the obvious shortcomings in Palin’s experience will deter voters from supporting her as 2nd in line for POTUS. God help us. I mean for heaven’s sake, a total boob with an extraordinarily thin resume was elected for two terms.

    And McCain’s gamble might pay off this way: the Dems will have to use kid gloves in criticizing Palin. Any strong attack will be painted as elitism and snobbery and even maybe misogynistic. If Biden rips her to shreds in their debate, that might backfire.

    And I don’t know that your average american woman wants to look at her president and say, wow, she’s hotter than I am.

    I’m sorry, but this is a rather demeaning and condescending remark, joking or not.

  9. GG, while much of the post was intentionally demeaning (duh), I profoundly disagree with you on that last point. The insult is toward mccain and toward palin, and that’s based on politics, not gender.

    The tone may be flip, but americans, as a rule, choose leaders based on personality and appearance. Rarely do we grasp the issues well enough to know the difference between one candidate and another apart for gut reaction (otherwise how could you explain a moron like dubya winding up in office).

    While it’s possible I’m wrong – and it’s possible that it won’t matter – I stand by my opinion that americans vote on aesthetics, negatively as well as positively, and that we collectively don’t like the idea of someone who looks like barbie running the country, for good or ill.

  10. While it’s possible I’m wrong – and it’s possible that it won’t matter – I stand by my opinion that americans vote on aesthetics, negatively as well as positively, and that we collectively don’t like the idea of someone who looks like barbie running the country, for good or ill.

    But you know, who the frick would have thought that a guy named Barack Obama would have a real shot at being President of the United States? That’s every bit as audacious as the idea of a woman looking like Barbie being Veep or Pres., even before you get to the part where he is black.

    FWIW, I don’t think Palin’s reasonably good looks are some kind of handicap. I sure a frick hope that the part where everything she stands for is *wrong* in addition to the part where she is *completely* unqualified, I hope that is some kind of major handicap.

    The point of Obama’s campaign is that we just might all be better, as a people than we’ve been showing. I’m sucked in enough to think that this time, THIS time it might be true………

    On the post, I think this is brilliant satire. I am so insulted by the choice of Palin, satirizing her as an s/m fucktoy scratched an irritating itch for me, so thanks for that. Satire is usually a dangerous business though, ask Lenny Bruce, so I’ll sit here quietly and make sure I drink my minimum.

    hugs, E

  11. It is one thing to say that aesthetics play in a role in voting decisions (as one factor among many); that’s a fair statement, and it can be argued that past voting patterns supports such a view.

    Just to clarify, the problem I had with the specific remark you made in your post was that rather than making a fair statement on voting behavior, it played toward negative stereotypes of female behavior. Perhaps that wasn’t your intention, but the average American woman runs into these stereotypes on a regular basis, and it becomes hard to ignore. Replaying stereotypes does harm, in my opinion.

    But that’s not the main reason why I commented on this post. I thought a conversation about the veeps would be interesting. Sorry if my remark offended you.

  12. Oh, you didn’t offend me, GG. I just disagreed with you when you attributed meaning to my remark based on your reaction to it.

    I agree that stereotypes can be troublesome; yet often, they exist for a reason, and they are not, by definition, negative. That’s why we use a modifier – negative stereotype. We certainly use positive stereotype, and neutral stereotypes, every day.

    The mistake so often made is to assume stereotype=negative stereotype. In this case, the stereotype was chosen for humor, but is also (I feel) an accurate one in that it points out our culture’s voting habits.

    Why did I choose to single women out? Because it allowed me to use a phrase I found funny.

    Humor is like that. It plays on sentitivity. It plays on things that are or can be found offensive. Sure, one may choose to take offense, but that’s the nature of comedy; comedy that offends no one is rarely all that interesting.

    While you may not have found the remark funny, realize that the riff on ms palin is both comedic and pornographic in intent and tone, intentionally skewering both ms palin and the american voting public.

    And I stand by my lack of respect for either; Palin is at best a fool, and at worst a facist. The america public are stupid, ignorant sheep. And I have no problem standing by either message, even if related in a humorous way.

    I think the trouble came reading it as a female stereotype; it’s much broader than that.

  13. You know what’s funny, is that you really don’t even need to make fun of her; what with her pretending her daughter’s kid is her kid (right, because she got in a light plane at 8 months pregnant, flew to a small town and then *suddenly!* gave birth, all without ever looking pregnant), and her current ‘oops, yes, my teenage daughter was quite abstinent enough’ episode, she’s almost self-mocking.

    It’s getting clear McCain’s team did NOT do much background check here.

  14. when asked yesterday what he thought of Palin as the VP choice, James Carville responded “Well, I’m befuddled.”

    god i love that guy.

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