blogging: December 2005 Archives

On The Line in New Orleans

On The Line in New Orleans is a fantastic blog, written by New York food writer Betsy Andrews. She's what you'd call an embedded journalist...she volunteers as a line cook in New Orleans restaurants in order to cover the story of the rebuilding of that industry.

She chats with the Brennan matriarchs. She listens to Dickie Brennan's ideas about a FEMA village for hospitality workers. She dices avocado and debones salmon in Bayona's kitchen. She helps salvage Cuvee's wine collection, with bleach water and Dawn liquid.

It's a fascinating blend of behind-the-scenes foodie tales and post-Katrina survivor stories.

Fuck you, you fucking fucks

Ashley Morris is my fucking hero.

For this.

Fuck you New York. You lose a neighborhood and get scads of federal aid. We lose an entire FUCKING COAST, and the freespending W administration finally decides to become fiscally responsible. And fuck you all for taunting the New Orleans Saints fans, who have to deal with playing a home game in the Meadowlands. Fuck you, you classless motherfuckers. New Orleans donates a fire engine to the FDNY after 9/11, and you give us shit. Fuck you, fuck your town, fuck your residents, fuck your politicians. You. All. Suck.

And then this.

Fuck you, motherfuckers, we'll secede and join OPEC. Then we'll build our own fucking levees with help from the Dutch.

Mail, call, email your representatives. You do not want to fuck with pissed off New Orleanians. We're the murder capital, bitches. We will rain that shit down on you. We do not play fair when you do not play fair.

That's DOCTOR Ashley Morris to you.

NSA subliminal blog meme

Send the Federal Government a message via their backdoor channel, the spooks at the NSA:

martyr jihad c4 assassinate osama al-jazeera potus karachi shi'ite chalabi sinn fein peta overthrow dailykos dirty bomb genocide fallujah oil tanker FIX THE GODDAMN LEVEES ALREADY syriana michael moore cheney novak ied troop movement rpg anthrax.....

Inspired by Cosy Alcove. Pass it on.

Merry Christmas, y'all

I'm still in town but I don't know how much time I'll have for posting until next week, so everybody have a Merry Christmas or whatever else it is you celebrate.

Don't forget that you can still pre-order Do You Know What It Means until January 6, and all pre-order profits will go to Katrina relief.

Don't take your tree down til January 6th. Then put up your Mardi Gras decorations. Tis the season and all.

Finally, I leave you with a new Night Before Christmas, Post-K style, swiped from the legendary Gulfsails blog, who got it from who-knows-where. What it lacks in meter it makes up for in pure heart. Thank you, Unknown Author.

Update: The author is Stephany Lyman of UNO. Thanks Stephany!

Have a merry one, y'all.

'Twas the night before Christmas and in the Faubourg At the edge of the crescent, no creature stirred.

Under the shroud-like blue plastic from FEMA
That flapped in the wind in the wake of Katrina,

Nothing was hung by the chimneys with care
Since chimneys and roofs were no longer there.

The houses, abandoned for trailers or Texas,
Were circled with watermarks, branded with Xs,

And in them no sugarplums danced in kids' heads,
For no little children slept snug in their beds

On this night before Christmas in Faubourg-St John
Where time had stopped dead, while the world carried on.

Then, lo, from the depths of what once was my garden
(Now a wild cesspool of strange hydrocarbons)

Up drift some voices from out of the dark
To compete with the flapping of my FEMA tarp:

"They all axed for you, dawlin'. How did you do?"
"-Nine feet of water, and how about you?"

"Do ya know what it means to miss New Orleans?"
"-Not enough ersters-or rice and red beans!"

I'm certain of whom this can't possibly be:
It's not the adjuster; it's not Entergy;

With looters gone elsewhere, this can't be a stick-up;
And who can remember the last garbage pick-up?

It's surely not someone from Capitol Hill
To tell me, at last, whether I can rebuild.

I lift back what's left of my old cypress shutters
And peek past the tangle of phone lines and gutters,

And what to my wondering eyes should appear?
Not Santa Claus and his team of reindeer

But, costumed in rubber attire and gas masks,
A long second-line, waving hankies and flasks.

Rather than coconuts, beads and doubloons,
This krewe carries gear (and, just barely, a tune).

With wet vacs and power tools, sheetrock and nails,
Brawny and Brillo piled high in their pails,

They're Superdome faithful, survivors of attics,
Mardi Gras maniacs, Jazz Fest fanatics,

Carnival trackers (from Allah to Zeus),
Believers in Saints (whether St. Jude or Deuce),

Joined by a couple of Dutch engineers,
Some out-of-town builders and church volunteers.

They pause at the dead Live Oak next to my door
In T-shirts declaring Make Levees Not War.

Since ditching my mold-ridden fridge at the curb,
MREs have become the hors d'oeuvres that I serve

So I pass them around with Abita's new ale
When a wrench taps, "Clink! Clink!" on the side of a pail:

"To Blanco," they cry, "She got contra-flow down!
To Nagin-he sure told those Feds and Mike Brown!

To NOLA dot com, CNN, and the Times
Who cut to the quick of the Superdome crime!

To all those who took in our downtrodden folks,
Or ferried them out in their flat-bottom boats!

To Tennessee... Texas... Jackson... Atlanta...
Our Baton Rouge brothers ... and Lou-i-si-ana!"

I notice no Rudy steps up as their leader,
Yet something unseen guides this flock of believers,

A force that transcends rich or poor, black or white,
A light that can steer this brigade through the night.

In a twinkle they've finished the last of the ale
And they hoist their equipment, their masks and their pails:

"On, Comet! On, Borax! On, on Spic 'n Span!
"Come (Yule) Tide and Cheer! Come, All, let us plan!

Up, Mildew! Off, Mold! Out, out, Toxic Waste!
Come, Shout! Away, Wisk! Come, let us make haste!

To the top of the water mark! Up, past the stair!
Let the City that Care Forgot know that we care!"

Then to Lakeview, Gentilly, Chalmette and the East,
Away they all marched to a Zydeco beat.

Ere they rose past the tarps, I heard a voice say
"Merry Christmas-and Laissez les bon temps rouler!"

I hate you all

I've removed all of you from my blogroll. Fucking whiners.

Just kidding.


Actually, Karl is monkeying with the MT Blogroll install so they're temporarily down. Don't fret, you'll all be back soon.

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries in the blogging category from December 2005.

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blogging: January 2006 is the next archive.

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