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May 15, 2006
Monday absenteeism
Years after leaving all the booze and worse things behind, it's weird how certain things can still give me twinges of guilt about them, even when I've done nothing wrong.
Like every once in a while, I'll wake up with a headache, and my first thought will be, "Shit, how much did I drink last night, and where did I leave the car?", and it'll take me a few minutes before I remember, "Wait, I don't drink any more. I just have a headache. Cool!" I'm like George Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life jumping around yelling "My mouth's bleeding! My mouth's bleeding! What do you know about that?" It's just a headache, and gee whillikers I didn't do anything to deserve it. It just happened.
Then there is the Monday stomach virus. Somewhat amongst drinkers, and even more so amongst abusers of the wakey-wakey class of drugs, Monday is hell day, the day you're most likely to call in sick to work because there's no way you can get yourself into any kind of condition to be seen by the normies. And the best thing to call in sick with on those days is the "stomach virus/food poisoning" gambit. If you just say "I'm home sick", somebody wants to know, "Aw, is it that head cold going around? Do you have that cough?" and you end up having to do too much explaining.
But if you say "stomach virus", you shut down all further inquiry. That alone conveys more than anybody wants to know. It's "OK, get better, see you tomorrow".
Besides, in the tech business, it's not like Monday absenteeism actually gets you out of anything. If you miss a day of work, the whole schedule doesn't shift one day to accomodate. They're gonna take it out of your hide late nights and weekends as it is.
So here it is. Monday. I haven't had a drink in years. I haven't had anything worse than a drink in well over a decade. And I've got an honest-to-God incapacitating "Sweet Jesus what the hell did I EAT?!" stomach virus. Have lost five pounds since yesterday morning. I can use a stopwatch to time how long a glass of Gatorade makes the complete journey.
And it's hard for me to not feel just the slightest bit guilty. I'm just conditioned. I'm at home feeling like shit on a Monday, and part of me still wants me to think it's my fault, that some sin of mine brought me to this terrible fate.
I'm living on Gatorade and Saltines.
When what I really want is Amburgers and Woot Beer.
Posted by ray at May 15, 2006 11:33 AM | Permalink
Categories: [food | sobriety | work ]
Comments
To me, when I have the Monday headache, and I didn't drink the night before, I just get depressed as all hell. You mean I'm in pain, and I did nothing to earn it?
Now I want some amburgers and woot beer, too.
Posted by: ashley Morris at May 15, 2006 1:28 PM
You know, I was feeling a bit o' that guilt this morning because I did have a hangover. But I also have this huge gaping hole in my foot too! Now I don't feel so bad.
Posted by: Whirly ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.moronosphere.com/rayinneworleans/nav-commenters.gif)
at May 15, 2006 3:14 PM
Amburgers and wootbeer...that's funny.
Posted by: aag at May 15, 2006 4:03 PM
Whirly, I'm going to have to confiscate your firearms before you shoot your fuckin' dick off.
Ray, you're just too goddamned catholic. Guilt, shmilt, you deserve a day off, and not just when you're too sick to enjoy it. And whatever you ate, don't eat it again, no matter how good it was.
Though that's what pisses me off - when I waste my good goofing-off days on being sick. If I ain't goin' to work, I wanna be up to no good, not layin' on the floor moaning.
Posted by: Karl Elvis at May 15, 2006 6:18 PM
Damn! That commercial is enough to make ya gag!
When I have a stomach thingy ice cream helps.
Feel better.
Posted by: TravelingMermaid at May 15, 2006 6:34 PM
Dry toast would do better than saltines. Gatorade is good though. Bananas, surprisingly enough are good for what ails you, Ray.
And I'm with KE. Perfect waste of a good goof-off day.
Posted by: darkneuro at May 16, 2006 11:03 AM
Blurg. Day 2. Bananas, rice, applesauce, toast. Gatorade and water.
At this point, being at work healthy enough to sit up and sling some code and eat a taco would seem like a tropical vacation compared to where I'm at now.
Posted by: Ray at May 16, 2006 11:48 AM
Please post something about this Nagin Timeline. Folks need to see how badly he has executed as mayor over the years.
http://mitchformayor.com/timeline.php
thanks!
Posted by: humidhaney at May 16, 2006 12:03 PM
Bananas, rice, applesauce and toast. Someone remembers the BRAT diet. Back to basics. Feel better soon.
Still laughing at that video...
Posted by: DevilBlueDress at May 16, 2006 4:03 PM
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