Sorry about the lack of postings on the rest of the Africa trip. Affairs of state must take precedence over, uh, affairs of state.
We went to Disney's Animal Kingdom a couple of years ago, and it was funny how many things in the Mara triggered Disney flashbacks. The moused ones definitely did their research. The same open vehicles over bumpy roads, with a radio chattering Swahili as the constant soundtrack. Sketchy stream crossings. The same basic mix of animals, only obviously Africa has like a ginormous number of them.
What you don't get to see at Disney, though, is real un-censored nature in all of its ugly glory. Because Animal Kingdom is a family ride, and family-hour viewing does not allow for either the sight or the smell of disemboweled zebras:
or falling-off-the-bone wildebeast:
although I bet if you put that in a stock pot with some water, mirepoix, and a little red wine you could make a bitchin' stock for your next gumbo.
You also don't really get threatened by the animals. Lions in Orlando do not get annoyed at the little blonde boy sticking his head out the window and they don't make threatening sounds at him enough that the driver hits the gas in a hurry and tells the boy "please, inside, very dangerous!" And even if they did, it would not be while fifteen other lions who had just had their hunt interrupted circled around behind you.
And you most certainly do not get to see lions fucking in Florida. We got to watch these two behind the boy going at it:
and since that is all the sex ed the boy is going to get, he's going to go through life thinking that you're supposed to do it fifty times a day and it only takes about ten seconds each time. Seriously, look it up.
(Like an idiot, I hit the wrong button on the video camera so my lion gonzo porn never actually got rendered in video. Sorry Ashley.)
And lest you think lion love is all fun and games, we found this poor girl about a kilometer up the hill from the lovebirds:
Our guide's theory is that she lost a fight over the male, and the winner of the fight was the one having fun with him downhill from here. Apparently finding a male with mad skillz is as hard there as it is here.
That's your basic guide to lions. Eat, sleep, fuck, sleep some more, and walk around looking cool.
More Africa posts as time permits.





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