I check the Texas Sex Offender database every few months, more out of morbid curiosity than any kind of fear. The thing with Jessica in Florida gives me the creeps, sure, but like most parents I feel like I’ve trained my kids pretty well, and we haven’t ever had any offenders who lived closer than a half-mile away, so I never worried too much.
So this morning I check the database again, and we’ve got a new neighbor. Less than a block away, a guy who was convicted in 1997 of indecent exposure to a 17 year old. When he was in his 20′s. Now this shouldn’t worry me, right? I mean, 17. Fuck, he probably just didn’t check id, he fucked up, he served his time, no biggy.
Except that this was his second conviction.
One offense of this sort of tame nature says to me “mistake”. Two offenses says, ok, this guy has a problem and it seems to be capable of overpowering his common sense and morals.
And this right when Cass is old enough that we’re routinely giving her permission to walk up to Quack’s or the grocery store with a friend.
So what do you do? Do you tell her “don’t go near this house on Duval!” Do you show her the guys picture? Or do you just reinforce the usual stuff about self-defense and talking to strangers and all that and hope that she gets the message?
I know, I know, don’t fall into the hysteria that the media likes to generate. Don’t blow things all out of proportion.
But these are my kids here, and the gut reaction to want to protect them is pretty powerful.
Sometimes I want my toddlers back, when we could protect them just by locking medicine up high and putting covers on all the electrical outlets.
Our new neighborhood sex offender
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I’d think that she’s old enough for you to talk to her in specifics about the guy. I’d tell her specifically why you’re concerned, explain that you don’t really expect that he’d ever try anything and that she shouldn’t be afraid that he’s going to come busting through the front door or anything, but that it’s probably wisest to just give him a wide berth.
I’m waiting for a book from Amazon called “Mediated: How the Media Shapes Your World and How You Live in It.” I read an interview with the author in Salon, and he talked about what he calls the “Justin’s Helmet” principal. It’s sort of a “reality check” for the sort of thinking you seem to be experiencing here, where even though you know — logically and aesthetically — that a your fears are largely media-induced or at least a bit alarmist, you adhere to them anyhow, just to be safe.
The “Justin’s Helmet” name refers to the ridiculous level of padding and protection we put on kids when they play — we know that the chances of the kids actually getting that spinal cord or head injury when riding their bike is damn remote, but we still stick them in the helmet, cause, well, better safe than sorry, right?
I think the same principal applies here, especially since it’s not like you’re just pumping her full of irrational fears. The fact is, the guy is a registered sex offender, and there’s reason to be cautious. Not “if you see him walking down the street, run screaming and we’ll grab the torches and pitchforks” cautious, but cautious all the same.
In our neighborhood, we save the torches and pitchforks for Republicans.
Republicans? Now THEM you run screaming from! At least the Ann Coulter/Rush Limbaugh/Sean Hannity variety…
ray? look, odds are that cass WILL be on the viewing end of indecent exposure sometime, whether in your neighborhood or not. so it isn’t really ‘if’ but ‘when.’
so the next time you’re reading one of those articles and she’s around, just ask her what she’d do. and she’ll probably say she’ll walk the other way… fast. and you’ll say ‘good answer!’ and let her know that if it does happen she should let you know, because not only is it uncool, is a crime. and that’s that.
(p.s. you’re a very nice dad.)