I understand the giggles from the kids about “Round John Virgin” when we sing Silent Night. And of course the boy is at an obnoxious age, so the last lines have become “Sleep in heavenly peace out dude”.
And honestly, I think “Later on we’ll perspire as we drink by the fire” is perfectly Christmas-y, and I don’t know why anybody complains when I sing it that way.
But this new one is fucking twisted: All night long on Christmas night, I had the most bizarre earworm going through my head, and it was hours before I consciously realized exactly how messed up my wiring must be. I was humming the tune to “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”, with the words to the theme from “Gilligan’s Island”.
God rest ye merry, gentlemen, let nothing you dismay,
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip
Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day;
That started from this tropic port aboard a tiny ship
To save us all from Satan’s power when we were gone astray.
The mate was a mighty sailin’ man, the skipper brave and sure
O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy;
Five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour
No clue. I tell you, man, this is the kind of shit that happens when you’re spending Christmas with the parents and you can’t drink your way through it.
(Just kidding, mom.)