Hiromi_X

It is OFFICIAL: The inhabitants of the People's Republic of Hiromistan, who at long last are enjoying a period of stability and economic recovery, will now relocate from central Texas to...the Midwest, where they will have no shortage of cheese and snow.

Revolutionary Leader Hiromi X had hoped to go to the Bay Area so that she could enjoy year-round motorcycling and surfing, but alas, lifestyle considerations alone do not serve as justification for relocating an entire republic, and so fate has decreed a sojourn in what Ms. X has been wont to term "The Void."

---

Seriously, I never, ever thought I'd live in the Midwest for any length of time. In June, I'm moving to the heart of the Great Lakes region to a city known to be fairly cosmopolitan.*** The weird thing is, I'm more familiar with Asian geography than midwestern geography! On the plus side, Canada will be nearby, but I don't think I'll need to flee there any longer since Dubya is getting the boot soon. Also, I'll be within striking distance of culture; e.g., Chicago and New York. On the minus side, the probability of finding good Tex-Mex and BBQ outside of Texas is effectively nil, and I won't be able to ride my bike for like 2/3 of the year. And I'll be in the Rust Belt, the denizens of which have historically (in the 80s) not looked favorably upon we of Nipponese extraction.

I feel weird. I'm having trouble adjusting to the whole idea of moving to The Void.

***ain't gonna disclose the exact place in order to preserve a level of anonymity.

Posted by Hiromi at 6:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)

Created by Omnipotent Poobah

Hiromistan has a new flag courtesy of the Omnipotent One!

These are exciting times in Hiromistan. How often do you get to sit at the helm of the creation of a country? How will it be run?

First order of business: I liberated my country with the help of a small, trusted cadre of resourceful freedom fighters. They will be richly rewarded. Once I get riches.

I am far too lazy to run everything myself. Being a dictator would be exhausting: the constant hypervigilant paranoia, the endless purges. The way I see it, I have two alternatives:

1) Immediate open elections. Let the invisible hand set my economic house in order.
2) Stability. Centralization of power. While not a command economy, a guided one.

I choose number 2. Number 1 appears to be an excess of freedom. My choice is likely to result in stagnation and bureaucratic bloat in the future, but I'd rather worry about that later than have chaos now. I'll take a page from the Japanese book and allow highly trained and elite bureaucrats guide the development of the country. I suppose mere proximity to the Great One will be inducement enough for them to come work for me.

I have a very clear idea of what the good life in Hiromistan should be. This is the vision I want my bureaucratic minions to make reality:

I want a society where people live in sprawl- and suburb-free areas and sit on their front porches and wave to passersby, and people drop in to eat locally produced organic seasonal food. Coating french fries with that nasty layer of starch will be illegal. Children will play in parks and families will go hiking in unspoiled wilderness and frequent museums. The academically rigorous school system will produce literate and numerate adults who can articulate a clear well-reasoned argument and be able to distinguish "its" from "it's." There will be few big box retailers and fast food franchises. People will shop in stores run by friendly locals and in funky boutiques. There'll be colorful ethnic outdoor markets and open-air music festivals.

I guess to fund all this, we'll cultivate poppies and coca plants.

What's a charismatic revolutionary leader to do?

---

Buy "Made in Hiromistan!" Click here: 25peeps.com

Posted by Hiromi at 3:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

While there's no doubt that I will one day rule the world, it won't happen instantaneously. First, I must take stock of the land I currently rule:

Hiromistan /hi 'rɔ mə stæn/

A small, impoverished, landlocked nation located in central Texas. In 1998, it was forcibly annexed to a neighboring country under repressive totalitarian rule. In February 2006, a slave revolt led by Hiromi X led to its liberation and the establishment of a small independent republic. "Hiromistan" means "land both generous and beautiful." Its national symbol is a mixer, which appears on its flag; no anthem exists as of yet.

The nation's political situation remains uncertain. After the civil war, a transitional constitution was drafted by the revolutionary leader Hiromi X with input from a panel of mental health workers. She promises a transition to a democratic republic once stability is achieved. In the meantime, Hiromistan remains an authoritarian state in which political opposition is discouraged, and religious practice remains tightly regulated or banned. However, the administration vigorously advocates a liberal humanist education, and rebuilt libraries and schools almost immediately after hostilities ceased.

Despite considerable natural resources, the economy of Hiromistan has declined significantly since independence. The short, high-intensity civil war prior to independence destroyed much of its infrastructure. Further, Hiromi X alleges that the former dictator funneled most of the nation's treasury into personal Swiss accounts prior to fleeing into exile. Although missions from the World Bank and the IMF have met with Ms. X to develop a coherent economic plan, sources within the government state that Ms. X refuses to adhere to a program of austerities and structural adjustment. The same sources indicate that without funds provided by the non-governmental organization BOMAD*, Hiromistan's unstable economy will ultimately collapse.

*Bank of Mom and Dad

Once I get my shit together...from Hiromistan, the Revolution will begin.

---

Promote democracy in Hiromistan! Click here: 25peeps.com

Posted by Hiromi at 10:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)