Hiromi_X

I had The Craving today after work, but messed up and instead of my usual got vanilla, chocolate chip, marshmallow, and hot fudge. I decided for once and for all that I don't like large chocolate chunks in my ice cream -- chocolate isn't good unless it can melt in your mouth. Ice cold chocolate doesn't do that. These things matter. And I prefer butterscotch over hot fudge.

While morosely eating my substandard combo of ice cream and crush'n's, I eavesdropped on the young couple next to me -- college students. They were talking about being apart for the summer. They certainly weren't deep or poetic; they used those annoying inflections and phrases endemic among those between 12 and 22. But after listening to them for a while, I couldn't eat my ice cream for the lump in my throat.

It wasn't their words, it was the sweet simple faith that they would think of each other always, that they would mutually pine away until they could each see other again in the fall. And when they would see each other again, they would be propelled forward together, and great things would of course happen, and they would experience these great things together. In between their silly jokes and corny talk, they kept glancing into each other's eyes and brushing each other's hands while they fiddled with their empty ice cream cups and spoons. Those glances and touches provided the depth and poetry to their words.

Several months ago, I would have become depressed at my exclusion from happy couplehood. Instead, I realized that the things I attributed to them -- a special kind of openness, hope, and faith -- are things I associate with young people. There was a summer in college, before bad things happened, when I was happy and confident and felt like there was nothing except bright vistas and possibilities in front of me. That was the last time I was young. Sitting in that ice cream shop, I realized I am young again. Unlike the young couple, I didn't have an equally youthful person sitting right next to me to share that with, but that didn't make me less happy to realize I've come full circle. I lost my youth, and spent years feeling lost and trapped, but now I've regained all that I've lost and more.