Hiromi_X

I understand. been dealing with it for years. Now I don't even acknowledge. What am I. Polyeurasian. That sets them back a few steps and allows me to escape.

Now my daughter just laughs and walks away. She is a true leaugue of nations.

Whatever happened "by the content of their character, not the color of their skin" and especially on this most important day.

rock on

i hear you! you summed up perfectly how i've felt about this topic for the past 24 years of my life. GAH!!!! this is why i scowl at strangers.

Hiromi: He deserves your pity... well, not even that unless you're feeling charitable. I can't believe he didn't say "Hi... can I have your phone number?" I mean REALLY! He could have at least had the decency, right? Stereotypes suck hardcore, and I'm sorry you have to deal with them. I wouldn't. I would be as rude as the question: "Gee, where did your grandparents come from? Inquisitional Spain?" (nobody expects it).

At least he didn't call you inscrutable.

And by the way I can fix that 'Remember personal info' problem any time, but I'm waiting for your ok to monkey with the code. So, you know, say yes already.

hello. found you via waiting for dorothy and decided to take a peek (basically because of the warning posted that said your blog was not work safe, *chuckle*) at any rate, i normally would follow my typical M.O. and lurk awhile at a new blog, before posting a comment. however, i noticed you made a comment about the blue-eyed geisha in Memoirs of a Geisha. that wasn't something done by the directors/producers of the film, heh. the character in the book actually has blue eyes. this makes her more exotic to the clientele...or something. what i found interesting is that she is played by a chinese woman, who had to learn some japanese for the role. i guess they used her as she is more well known in america for doing 'House of Flying Daggers' and 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon'. that's where that hollywood marketing shite comes in.

Ok, 'Remember personal info' works now. At least on OSX, firefox and safari. We'll let others confirm that it works on other platforms.

Serendipitous.

Inscrutable? As in, "hmmm, wonder what Hiromi's thinking?" You're one of the most scrutable people I know. The very fibre of your being radiates scrute.

Thanks Karl for fixing the info thingie!

Hiromi, at least you're full Japanese. I get people flat out staring at me all the time trying frantically to categorize me. White people are convinced I'm either Asian or European and Asians are convinced I'm some sort of white hybrid. I get to be the butt of jokes on all sides. I've gotten the "what are you" question more times than I can count.

I love the pictures with this post.

Question for you: did you notice anything different about people around you when you started dating Brett? My parents started dating when interracial couples were not very widespread and my mom sometimes tell me about how it was hard for them to be a couple at first. My dad is still the only non-white addition to my family.

On a separate note, I still like anime! ha ha ha

Jen said: I get people flat out staring at me all the time trying frantically to categorize me.

Oh, I get the same thing all time.

Though I don't think, you know, for the same reason.

My staring at Jen has nothing to do with frantically trying to categorize her.

Frantically something, maybe.

Wow! It remembers me! And I didn't even have to punch in the stuff again!

I wish I was approached at the grocery store and asked something other than, "Do you work here?"

Wait.. You mean you AREN'T better at math?! The fuck... Well.. To at least play the violin, right, right?

I'm having a huge issue with Memoirs myself because.. Well.. Shouldn't the three leads have been played by Japanese actresses? Now excuse me.. I must dream of Mt. Fuji, an eggplant and a hawk.

In my opinion he just wanted to meet a pretty woman. Numerous times I have seen a pretty woman in public and am frantically attemting to formulate, in my mind, a plan that will lead to an introduction without seeming stalker-ish. I rarely achieve a successful plan that is not really dumb. Luckily for me, I can recognize that it is best not to act on the dumb plans. This is probably what you just experienced: a guy who acted on a really dumb plan to meet you.

My wife and I tease each other about this all the time. She's from southern China, and I'm an eastern European Jewish Mutt(tm). She often comments on the exoticness of my Jew-fro if I haven't gotten a haircut in a while. And then I tease her about her supposedly superior (according to her communist early elementary education at least) non-curling eyelashes that always turn in and poke her eye.

Stereotypes can be fun if you turn them on their head and make them your own!

(yay for personal info saving!)

I have a friend who is the exact opposite of the guy in the store. I was hanging out with him a few weeks back, and we were talking about my New Year's plans, which involved my (Russian Jewish) boyfriend teaching my best friend's wife (Japanese) how to make sushi. He said, "She's Japanese? I just thought she was short!".

I agree with Nermous. Guys say stupid things to women they find attractive. You're incredibly attractive, and so you get more then your fair share of it. Some guy sees you in the grocery store, finds you attractive, and tries to come up with some way to compliment you in hopes of, well, getting your number. And the easiest and most obvious way is to try to compliment your ethnicity. It never occured to him that you'd be offended.

When someone hits on you without knowing anything about you, the only thing they can compliment you on is stuff that's obvious. And it's not socially acceptable to walk up to a woman and say, "Wow! You've got the most amazing butt!". So they try something else....

(oops, forgot to paste the last paragraph)

I'm always wary and barely polite to people who hit on me if I don't know them. I figure, if they don't know me, the only thing they could know about me is what is obvious, and that means they're really hitting on their idea of what I'm like. And since it's unlikely that I'm like whatever it is they're fantasizing I'm like, there's not really any point in continuing the conversation. I'm not sure there's anything else you can do except be marginally polite while trying to figure out the fastest way out. They mostly can't be educated, otherwise they'd have learnt the lesson the last dozen times it didn't work. So, escape is the only way.

Damn, Hiromi, I don't know what I'd do if I had to put up with that shit all the time. I remember once in school, my friends and I were consoling Sarah, a sweet, nice girl who'd be adopted from South Korea as a baby after a bad break-up. We were all telling her how hot she was, and what a loser the guy was, when this one idiot girl piped up, "and guys love asian girls, of course." WTF ??
PS -- Sarah's favorite Margaret Cho bit is the one where she's all "and I wasn't up on no stage playing no violin!"
:)

You kick ass, Hiromi, don't let those assholes get you down

I just had to come back to see if I was "remembered". And I am. Yay, it's fixed!

Hey, if anyone out there knows someone else (besides my brother) who is Chinese + Scottish + Bulgarian, I'd like to meet them! Go mutts!

Where I go to school there is an incredibly high Asian population (most come here from overseas to attend the university). It seems that the entire Accounting faculty (and math, and a large chunk of science and engineering) is made up of Asians so I like to joke that I should at least minor in Accounting just because.

... too bad I suck at math ; )

Jen, I was an accounting major many years ago and was the only scottish+japanese+polynesian dude there. I didn't give a flying fuck and still don't. Life is too short.

Believe I benefited from my multi-racial background.

By being bi-racial I can go which ever way that works at the time. Need to hire an oriental, no problem - need to hire a polynesian, no problem, need someone to talk to the boys on Wall Street who looks European, no problem.

For some reason I think of King of the Hill...

"Uh...so whut's it like in China?'

What the hell is wrong with people?

see, now, i have to comment from his side of the conversation. i am a linguist, and a geography freak too. i have always been fascinated by cultures different from the one i grew up in, and the people who are a part of them. i am particularly interested in southeast asia, with a special fondness for japan. now, i know that there is more to japan than anime, pocky, and f-in' cherry blossoms (as much as i like anime, i know america has turned it into something that hardly resembles what it is to japanese people). however, it's harder for an american to get past this cliche-riddled front without spending a lot of money to do so. i can't afford to buy books or go to school to study it or- my preferred method, but my husband won't do it- actually go to japan to live there for a few years. therefor, people who want to know what's REALLY behind the stereotypes have few options- and the only easily-accessible one is to ask someone from that culture yourself. that poses its own very hard question- how do i ask and find out what i want to know WITHOUT OFFENDING THIS PERSON???? there are only two options- talk to them and risk pissing them off without meaning to, or keep your yap shut and pass up an opportunity to learn. *sigh* either way, it sucks. and i can relate, too, cuz everytime i go back up to buffalo for christmas, all my cousin's friends inundate me with questions like 'do you like collards' and 'do you hate black people' and stupid shit like that, and seem quite amazed that i speak very well and don't drawl. i'm southern, not stupid. ya know?

Nice job, you coined "de-chinkify". Love it.

"You know, at the beauty academy they teach us that people aren’t black or white or yellow or red...but their hair can be.”

Suddenly I'm hungry for Luby's.

You can't limit your comments to us "wide-eye" white folk. My wife is asked her nationality at least once a day, and 60% of the inquiries are from asians. She always responds that she is american.

Fucking word, man. Word.

If it's any consolation its meant to be abit crap. They could've got Japanese actresses for a start. Here are some review segments I quite liked. (i, myself, am looking forward to Walk the Line which comes out here in a week or so, yey!)

"We are treated to a sturdily constructed melodrama that goes straight for the jugular: a little girl sold into slavery, who blinks back the tears and pirouettes her way to emotional liberation and the man of her dreams by mastering the arts of hair-dressing, make-up and, most importantly, outmanoeuvring her rivals. Breaking the Waves this isn't......"

"When you come down to it, Memoirs of a Geisha is not unlike Gigi, with kimonos instead of bustles, but without the redeeming songs."

xxB

I am not Asian American so I can't comment on what it's like to be a nth generation and still be asked stupid questions but...I lived in Japan a while a long time ago. I am a big guy and every single Japanese would ask me if I came to Japan to be a Sumo wrestler. After the 1000th time it got a little annoying, so I hate to say it to you, it isn't ever going to stop. Just get used to it.

Some of my pros and cons with stereotypes.

Pro:
- Sometimes it makes for some awesome comedy. Case in point... Hollywood Shuffle, I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, Don't Be a Menace to Society While Drinking Your Orange Juice in the Hood, Undercover Brother. All of those movies I found to be absolutely hilarious. And it was the grain of truth in all of those stereotypes in those movies that made them so funny for me. I had a very interesting experience of watching Undercover Brother with my Canadian girlfried. She had seen the movie before but had missed about two thirds of the jokes because she didn't grow up with the same stereotypes about black people in america.

-I lived in England for 3 1/2 years and never got messed with in a bar. Especially when they heard my american accent. All I had to do was throw on my Boyz In The Hood gameface on and brits were parting like the red sea. I avoided quite a few possibly hard situations that way.

Cons:
People that refer to me as "bro". For the most part I see it tragically funny that people think they need to use that word to talk to me but there was a time that it annoyed the hell out of me.

-People that want to touch my hair sometimes piss me off. Just because a guy has a bit of a fro doesn't make him a damn chiapet! Back up off a brother, DAYUM! I can't just shake my head as if I was in a Prell commercial and have that handprint just pop out of my do. :)

-It's sad when someone takes that small grain of truth that exists in sterotypes and tries to apply it to all people. That is just plain ignorant and just doesn't work. All it really does is create seperation and conflict between people.

-One of the things that saddens and maddens me the most is when black people pidgeonhole themselves with their own stereotypes. I grew up in the south and I never caught more racist bullshit from anyone more than I did from other black people. If I could have a dime for everytime I was called oreo cookie when I was growing up in the 80's just because I liked to skateboard, listen to anything other that Curtis Blow and was not into dating someone with a gold tooth, 42nd Street doorknocker earings and a wardrobe that made you think they were sponsored by Nike. Sheesh. Which is a big part of why I'm now living far far away from that place.

I feel your pain Hiromi for having to deal with those poor, unfortunate and ignorant people. I hope your post serves to educate those who don't know any better. We could all use a bit more understanding and compassion...myself included.

Warmest regards

Brodie (not Bro for short)

That's definitely true Hiromi, about only the "in group" being able to play with stereotypes without coming across as creepy/dickish. I'd say it's not so much the group itself as it is intimacy. There's a lot of close friends who can joke and verbally spar with these concepts, but an outsider would definitely not be given that latitude.

But do you think you'd feel at home in "The Chocolate City"?

I still can't beleive someone actually approached you in the store to ask you that! Some people's children...

I haven't actualy seen "Memoirs of a Geisha" myself, but I did enjoy the book. The main character does have blue eyes in the book as well (not quite blue, but grey - I think) which is an important feature for her character. I'm fairly certain that the light eyes were a feature picked up from an actual Geisha who lived and worked in Japan.

I can understand your frustration to a degree- but you are not being singled out purely because of your race; you are being singled out because you are different.
As a military member, I endure similar ignorant discourse from civilians, but I don't get upset or offended. The people who ask questions of me generally harbor one or more of the following misconceptions:(a) all Air Force members fly a plane, (b) all military members kill/have killed people, (c) female military members are lesbians or mannish, (d) all military members are in outrageous physical condition.
Anyone who keeps their eyes open will realize that stereotypes of this nature exist about everyone, in every part of the world.
If I were a native of Japan, even if I was born there, and spoke Japanese fluently, I, as a Caucasian, would be foolish to think that I wouldn't be questioned/pestered about my heritage. This is how life is, and I refuse to be offended by it. Every time that someone questions me about my military background, I consider it an opportunity to present a positive image about who I am. People are curious. People who ask questions are at least not throwing stones!
Great blog. Just thought I would add my two cents.

Not me. Other C.

It's funny- the Marines give free chopper rides at our Big Northern American University, and I want to go on one, but I'm afraid that when I sign the safety waiver, I'll find out I'm enlisted!

The Canadian military is actually two guys, Gord and Andy, and I don't really get along with Andy. So that's out.

Yeah, but really badly. The legionnaires would kill me.

Actually though, Quebecers also speak French really badly. So, who knows!

i forgot to mention when i posted WAY up there^, that i would love to know who the hell these rude-ass white folks are that ask 'what are you?'. they give those of us with more than half a brain a ~really~ bad name.

stupid, stupid, stupid.

makes me want to ask every asshat wearing a nascar shirt if they are white trash.

"a female version of David Carradine play the role" - You mean Ever Carradine? She does have blue eyes. Passing for anything other than whitey, though... I don't think it's gonna happen for her. (BTW, she's great in Dead & Breakfast.)

Hm. My own personal glance turning to linger quite possible overstepping its boundaries into staring generally is because I've been a bit awestruck. Or cutestruck. Or beautystruck.

It is interesting that being a minority seems to embolden strangers to ask you about more than they really have any right to know about you.

That said, maybe it happened like this. He saw you. Panicked. Called a local member of the Department of Homeland Security's Citzen Corps and asked what to do. Here's me speculation about his end of the conversation:

"There's a girl in the store... and she's not... American. I dunno! She's not white! And she's not black! And that's all I've ever seen here? What? Ask her what? What? Asian, ok, got it? Yeah? Ok. Yeah, got it. I'll ask. I'll call you right back."

Of course, you know, he'd be awfully busy if he lived here. And he'd be awfully tired of asking that question too.

I know what you're saying, though I can't pretend to "understand" it (not being in that situation myself), but what it all boils down to is a lack of imagination. He wanted to talk to you and didn't know how to go about it, so he started a conversation focused on your Asian heritage, because that was the only "ice-breaker" he could think of. If you had been a Goth, pretty good chance he would have said something about how he used to have a girlfiend who sucked his blood.

To a much lesser degree (and through an action of my own choosing) I can relate.

Last year I died my blonde hair red. The amount of men who think using "I like red hair" as a come-on line is astounding. For all the assumed preference for blonde hair, I never really experienced anything like the creepy "I like your hair" I get with red hair. (and its not like it really looks natural)

Some men fetishise a physical trait (asianness, hair colour, height, missing limbs ...) and are so self-centered that they can't see that the person who posseses said trait might find it offensive to have her humanity reduced to a particular stereotype or characteristic.

OK, the hair thing seems different to me. If somebody adopts a certain fashion, a certain style, and then doesn't want anybody to acknowledge or comment on or compliment their style...that just seems weird to me. Why bother doing it then? The whole point of fashion is to present an outward image to the world. To then turn around and say "This side of me that I've gone to the trouble of dressing up and displaying...is off-limits as a topic of discussion" is just non-sensical.

It's not analogous to race or height or missing limbs, because those aren't fashion choices, those are genetic traits or accidental misfortunes.

I have scars that I don't particularly care for, and I'd be embarassed and maybe a little miffed if a total stranger walked up to me and commented on them. But I have tattoos as well, and if a total stranger walked up to me to comment on those, how can I say that they're out of line? I adorned my body with outwardly visible pictures...I should *expect* that the world will take notice. That's the whole point of doing it.

Finally, I don't get how one can jump from "I like your hair" to "I have reduced your humanity to a single characteristic". I mean, unless you're wearing your PhD stapled to your back, they don't exactly know about your deeper accomplishments. Is it different if you're wearing a particular music t-shirt and they say "Wow, I like that band too, did you see them when they played last spring?" They've reduced your humanity to a single band you like. How horrid. Yet I've met people who I went on to become good friends with by saying exactly that to them. And they didn't flee in terror, or mace me, or lecture me on my manners.

Do we have to live in a world where saying something nice to a total stranger is considered demeaning and insulting until proven otherwise? What a dour, miserable fucking world that would be.

Have you tried dying your hair red?

About stereotipes. Try being Italian. I am dead sick
of all the mafia jokes. "Did you kill somebody?" "Can you arrange an accident" Blah blah blah.
Nobody ever thought that some of my friends' family suffered from mafia and that was no joke...

That said if somebody is just willing to chat me up talking about Italy that could be boring but usually it's ok...

Heh. My step-grandfather is Italian, and once when I was 8 or 9 at the dinner table I blurted out, "So Tony, do you know anybody in the Mafia?". The instantaneousness of the whack I got from my mom was record-breaking.

You mean "whack" as in a smack, right?

Just checking.

sucks to be asian in TX.

i am a taiwanese at CA.