Ok, Ray pointed this out and then Andie demanded I read it.
Waiter Rant rules.
Why oh why do people like Dr. Zamir think it’s ok to do the sand-in-the-vaseline trick to thier servers and then ask for special treatment? Special treatment is for special people, and unless you’re god or the president or the hottest celeb in town, special means people who treat servers with respect.
Say please. Say thank you. Say thank you to the busboy who cleans up your fucking mess. Say thank you to the food runner who carries all that heavy shit to your table. Say thank you to the cocktail person. Say thank you EVEN IF THEY FUCK IT UP.
Servers work fucking hard. It’s a rough job.
My friend Scott Long, lead singer for a band called the Frontier Fucking Wives, always used to tell his audiences Don’t forget to tip your bartenders and servers, they’re the hardest working people in Rock n’ Roll.
I’ve never worked in food service, but I know dozens of people who have. And they all tell these same stories. The bitchy demanding patrons who stiff on tips. Over and over.
Leave a fucking tip, people. Leave it anyway because it’s part of the deal. Leave it because that’s how the server gets paid. But leave it more because that’s how you say thank you to someone whose job it is to take care of you and clean up after you. 15% isn’t the max; 15% is the base. Leave 15 for an adequate job. Leave it because it goes to the whole staff, the bus people, the runners. Even if your waiter’s not exactly stellar, you’re stiffing everyone. If the service is more than average, leave extra. If you eat there a lot, leave extra. If you ask for something special, leave extra. If you dine with kids, leave extra. If you have more than one of these conditions, leave a lot extra.
If you want to be remembered, leave fucking extra. It’ll pay back.
I learned this a long time ago, one night at a place in SF called Stars Cafe. We walked in with a party of five, three gay men and us. There was a line out the door, it was a saturday peak time, and we had no reservation. I figured it was a no-go, we were hungry already and it looked like a 2+ hour wait.
My friend-now-boss Jeff walked up to the head of the line, whispered to the maitre’d and ten minutes later, we had a table.
We leave huge fucking tips, Jeff said.
Ah. I see. That’s how it works.
The thing that mystifies me is, why do people get rude with a server who’s about to handle your food? Good lord, man, have you ever heard of a sneezer? A waiter and do all sorts of things to foul your lunch, or insure you get a sub-par meal. Why would you start off by earning bad will?
Tip your fucking servers. Tim them well, tip them all. If can’t afford a tip, you can’t afford to eat out.
And go read Waiter Rant.